AIBU for calling the police

[Strawberryjam45]

Went to see a friend at her new house today and stopped by the local high street with DH, Dd and ds. There was 3 boys standing outside a kebab shop and my DD 2.5 brushed against one of the boys bikes and it fell to the ground, I immediately apologied and thought that was the end of it. A few minutes later the boys are following us across the high street saying we've scratched their bike and telling us the bike is 3000 pounds to which DH responds something like "in my day a bike like that would have cost 50 quid" and we walked off.

Again we thought that was the end of it and went across the road to a coffee shop to eat-in. We sat down and after 5 mins realized that the boys were outside circling the coffee shop, waiting for us. They wanted us to know they were waiting for us and making it very obvious. I started to panic at this stage but DH said they would get bored and leave. 20 mins later they are still there and because we have two small children with us (2.5 and 1) and I'm not sure what they'll do I'm reluctant to leave and say I'm going to call the police which I do explaining to the operator that although they haven't actually threatened us, I do feel threatened by their behavior and like we can't leave safely. There is no one else in the coffee shop and not many people on this quite desolate looking high street.

More teens join the three boys and there is now 10-12 outside, all just circling the coffee shop and making it clear they are waiting for us. We explain to the women at the counter what has happened and that we've called the police.

One of the boys (not the original 3), older, with his face covered comes into the coffee shop with his hands in his pants and clearly under the influence of something. At this point im terrified that he'll attack my DH (as he made the comment about the bike being worth 50 quid in his day) and im not sure what he has in pants (i was worried it would be a knife). Luckily the waitress is very firm and asks that he leaves when he tries to sit on the table directly next to us and he does.

The waitress goes out and asks the boys what the issue is and comes back and explains they want an apology and maybe £20 for the scratches for the bike. My husband was prepared to do this but I couldn't believe at this stage when there was at least 10-12 teens they would just leave it at that so asked him not to go and just wait for the police to come. One of the boys starts making rude gestures at my husband at this point.

Police came and I explained what had happened and apologized for calling them but said that I really did feel scared to leave as I thought they might attack us. Police said the boys had been rude to them and we were right to call. We were able to leave safely while the police were there.

Re-telling the story to family I did wonder whether I had done the right thing by calling the police as to be honest it sounded quite trivial (it's not like the boys had actually threatened us directly) and it may have been that they might have just thrown something at us/sworn at us and that would have been the end of it-not great but not a police matter either.

Was I wrong/overreacted to call the police? I don't think I would have done so pre DC but I think having the kids with me made me panic more than I otherwise would have as it's not like we could have just got into our car quickly and left (faffing around with car seats)

@Skyebot it was a party in a house. The knife was already there. You believe what you want as I say its personal and not up to be picked apart

Can only talk about england and wales tho, if it’s elsewhere - not sure about how their prosecution guidelines work

Scotland

Fair enough, but manslaughter etc maybe very surprising for a murder. Had burglars get more.

This

Yes I should have been more careful with DD and her knocking the bike over (it was leant next to the wall) and if they had said in the first instance "hey, you've scratched my bike and it will cost money to repair", I would deffo have been happy to give them some money

So isn’t that victim blaming now? It seems they did say something to begin with but your husband replied with a smart ass remark.

So you damaged their property, were arsy about it when they told you and then used the police instead of settling by paying (possibly a lot less than it would cost to get it put back to the same condition than before it was knocked over) for the damage you caused.

I see why you were intimidated and called the police. But I think the way the police responded and the way this thread has gone shows why they felt the only way they had any chance of getting recompense was through intimidation.

You did the right thing. Horrible little wannabe gangsters.

Gary Newlove's killers didn't need a knife. They were all boys aged 18 and under and they kicked him to death outside his own house when he went out to ask them to stop smashing glass on his wife's car.

Give over @NumberTheory her daughter accidentally knocked over the bike. Any normal
Human being who saw a two year old knock over a bike wouldn't demand money for a few scratches. Their behaviour was disgusting, vile and intimidating, especially when with two young children. It is horrible, scary and very worrying that a group of teenagers think it's ok to intimidate a young family. It's pretty sick to be honest.

I was once walking with my two year old and a shitty kid said to his friend 'let's throw that kid in the river and see if it drowns.' It was horrific and I'm horrified that there are so many feral children that have been brought up by shitty parents. The police did f all.

If his bike was worth £3k then maybe he shouldn't just leave it outside a kebab shop to be so easy to push over by a small toddler.

This thread has become a very interesting one about the perception of crime. It’s a shame we have handed over so much psychological control to those that we fear might hurt us.

@Greenshake in my case I wasn't going to take the risk of two teenagers throwing my child into a river by standing up to them. It shows how our society has really gone down the pan, that these kids have so little respect for human life etc another group of children in the town I live in stoned a duckling to death. The area I live is one of the wealthiest commuter towns so is sold as a 'family' area but I felt safer in London to be honest.

@pansypan32 I think your case is slightly different from the point I am making as you are referring to a specific incident where a direct threat was made.

@Greenshake I think it feeds into the argument. I was walking a park. The threat was not made
Directly to me, the teenager was talking to his friends. I was the only person around so I know it was aimed at us. On one hand, I believe it was bravado but I didn't want to risk it by saying something. What shocked me most, was how is a child parented so badly that he thinks it's funny to laugh at a drowning baby. It's sick. The parents are to blame first and foremost and then the government. So many bored kids, with so little to do! On the same vein, what made this group of shitty kids outside a kebab shop follow a young family and circle them like prey. It's vile and sick. They have all the power because they have no sanctity in life. To them they have nothing, so using intimidation, physical violence etc is the only thing that gives them any sense of self. I don't have the energy to feel sorry for every shitty, feral kid who acts like this. (Not saying you're asking me to, just hate on these threads that the OP has been made to feel bad for actions by some self serving posters)

You'd get stabbed on my high street. It's not called shankstown for nothing.

It's wild how the child knocked over the bike, the husband then made a rude remark and then the OP called the police out of sheer terror and everyone is telling her she did the right thing. I would be my house and all that I own that I know exactly what demographic everyone involved in this is.

*bet.

Because that your husband felt comfortable enough to say what he did and your instinct to call the police who came immediately to your aid.

Well, we still don’t know where this original incident took place.

I'd like to know what area this happened in, but yes. I think we all can guess

That’s a very interesting point and there is a lot not being said isn’t there?

@VladmirsPoutine the mother said sorry and picked up the bike. A normal human being would have said don't worry about it, if the child did cause damage a normal human being would have said. ' so sorry I know your daughter didn't mean to knock over my bike but she's caused some damage. Woukd you mind paying for the damage.'

It's not normal behaviour to do what these kids did. If you think it's normal you're part of the problem. I don't agree with what the dad said but let's be honest he probably said it without thinking in an intimidating situation.

@pansypan32 its not normal behaviour to do what these kids did….yet many of the posters on here seem to find otherwise and suggest that kids are running wild all over the place, including entire towns.

And ironically if this was rephrased the other way round (saying the assumed demographics are true), it would read like this:

'Middle class white man with £3k bike perched outside independent coffee shop. Young, working class family are nearby their two year old daughter accidentally knocks over the bike. Mum says sorry and goes on their way. Middle class white man follows family and says my bike was worth £3k aren't you going to pay for damage. Husband of family jokes and says in his day a bike cost £50. They carry on walking and go into a cafe. Middle class man has now got all his cycling buddies to circle outside the coffee shop and is demanding payment from this young couple for a genuine accident. Another of his cycling buddies comes in and sits opposite family and looks menacing at them.'

If you'd read a post like that you would have called out the middle class white man for being over the top and intimidating to this family. This is not a class war, this is about moral behaviour and what's right or wrong.

It's not normal behaviour to do what these kids did. If you think it's normal you're part of the problem.

Not once in my post did I even hint that I think what these kids did is normal. But this is a cycle I see repeated so often, there's a reason why the OP's husband thought nothing of insulting the boys and the OP thought the police would come to her rescue. It's all rather amazing tbh but I'll stop there because I really don't want to spend my Sunday morning irate.

@Greenshake rape, domestic abuse, sexual assault happens pretty regularly across the country. I wouldn't class that as normal behaviour.