Is it weird that my bf has gone for dinner with his boss?

[babypleasenow]

So we've been together 5 years or so. His boss came to his work today at the end of the day and he's just text to say they've gone to get some food at a Wetherspoons after work. She's single and knows about our relationship but I don't feel immediately worried by it, but should I? I don't know how to feel!

I am the only women on my direct team of five. There wider team is another ten and again just men.

If that's normal for you and your lifestyle and your partner is ok with that, then that's absolutely fine and there is no issue.

In my marriage though, we would never have jobs that involved socialising outside of work time as we both have the same view that work is work and once working hours are done, you leave it at work and come home to family.

I don't think it's fair or right to accuse others of being controlling or insecure (not saying you said that but others on here). Each marriage has its own dynamics and what's normal for one marriage/relationship won't be normal for another but it doesn't mean their relationship is bad or that they live in the 1930s.

Normal in my job. If my boss wants to talk about how I am running or developing my department or my career or even just to shoot the breeze then we’ll grab dinner or lunch or a drink. I eat with colleagues too occasionally and travel with them. I’ve never considered cheating on a partner.

If my male, single boss invited me for a meal after work at the local Wetherspoons just me and him, whether I knew there was nothing in it or not, I’d be thinking ‘how would my partner feel about this? Is this appropriate for me to make that choice? Is it fair on the person at home?’ And I’d come to the conclusion that no, it isn’t appropriate and I’d decline that invitation.

But most of us would come to the conclusion that there is absolutely nothing inappropriate about it.
I'd also know that my dh wouldn't bat an eyelid if I had a meeting with a colleague over a bite to eat, just the same as I wouldn't bat an eyelid if he ate with a colleague. Because we are in a normal, trusting relationship and normal people who socialise with people in all sorts of situations - work, hobbies, volunteering, etc.
Why isn't it "fair on the person at home" ? that makes no sense to me at all.

Why isn't it "fair on the person at home" ? that makes no sense to me at all.

Same here. What about it isn't fair?

Been married for 50 years, must be doing something right. Come back when you've been married that long and tell me how you're doing.

I can tell you exactly how my DH and I will be doing. We'll be doing the same as we've done for well over 20 years.

And that's loving and respecting each other, rather than controlling and ruling each other with an iron fist.

'Pestering' though rather than "Oi Dave, fancy a drink and a bite to eat after work?" "Errr yeah, go on Jill, why not".

That's still tickling me 😂

Been married for 50 years, must be doing something right. Come back when you've been married that long and tell me how you're doing.

I'd like to think we'll be as we are now.

Trusting and respectful and still happy for each other to socialise with other people.

I'm sorry about your dad, OP, but you have to learn to trust your partner or give up on men. He is not your father.

He found it a lot less amusing than me - which I found a bit funny I admit. He's quite uptight and very much does things by the book so he thought it was very unprofessional (once he'd got over the initial wtaf amusement/ shock). Apparently she does things like that all the time like playing with her 4yo in the middle of a zoom meeting.

I'm a boss. I often have dinner with my colleagues. I don't fancy any of them. It's just dinner with colleagues.

You either trust your partner or you don't.