Is it weird that my bf has gone for dinner with his boss?

[babypleasenow]

So we've been together 5 years or so. His boss came to his work today at the end of the day and he's just text to say they've gone to get some food at a Wetherspoons after work. She's single and knows about our relationship but I don't feel immediately worried by it, but should I? I don't know how to feel!

In my current team it's pretty normal. I'd say it depends on the team culture.

Should add though that if he tried taking me Wetherspoons I'd be telling him to fuck off!!

Would be completely normal in my sector. If she's not in the office so much these days it's nice to catch up with people face to face when you are. If she's about to travel a fair way back home, I imagine she's keen to have a meal and a bit of company before doing so. Pre Covid, Friday night drinks were a weekly occurrence in my office.

I was asking because I've never had this situation before and wanted to know other peoples thoughts on it. Catty comments are unnecessary really.

This is so controlling. You do realise he doesn’t need OP’s permission to have a meal with a colleague or friend? By saying she should “let it slide” you’re also saying she has the option to not let it slide in future. She doesn’t. She could leave him if she’s that terrified that he has a social life that doesn’t include her but that would be incredibly controlling.

What was “catty”? Disagreeing with you isn’t “catty” - you literally asked for opinions🙄

let it slide once

What?
Just ridiculous

It would depend on a few things really. For example, if my husband did this with his female boss, I wouldn't be at all worried as I have met her, her husband and her family and it absolutely wouldn't be dodgy. I'd be feeling a bit sorry for him having dinner in a Spoons would be about the sum of it!

However, young attractive, single colleague and the fact he's never done it with anyone else before? Yes, I'd be a bit concerned, I'm human.

So all depends on the wider context really.

I go out for a meal with my colleagues, boss, direct reports all the time! So does my husband. Never Spoons though- that’s what I’d have an issue with!!! Sounds a pretty cheapskate company!!

To be fair, saying she doesn't have anything better to do on a Friday night was a little catty too OP, same could be said of your partner as he's there too.

I don't think there's anything odd about it, if they're hungry and going somewhere nearby, makes sense instead of waiting to eat later.

I wouldn't like it tbh. If she needs to talk to him about work then she can do it in work hours. No need for them to go to dinner together unless there's a group of other collegues there.

I agree the 'nothing better to do on a Friday night' comment was unnecessary.

Besides, you said they were having dinner, not pulling an all-nighter so how do you know she's not going out later?

Yeah fair point.

How weird. They’re work colleagues. Going to a wetherspoons. why on earth would that worry you.

if it does worry you - that’s a big red flag about you having trust issues. This may either be because your partner is not trustworthy or you have issues yourself.

But then again, it would be completely out of the ordinary in my partners line of work. Maybe it's more common in other work places.

Perfectly normal in many workplaces.

If she's a area manager and him a shop manager completely normal to talk shop over food. Him one of 10 shop assistants a bit odd.

Ultimately if you trust him hermotives don't matter.

Sometimes it's nice to get away from the office environment and chat more informally.

Me and my male boss often go for a drink or food if we want to chat through some things but want a change of scenery.

It's perfectly normal and innocent.

Wetherspoons is hardly known for its romantic atmosphere and fine dining. Maybe the boss has a project / promotion she thinks is ideal for your partner and did not want to discuss in the office environment with other people around?

Plus the fact that's he's told you? Surely if there were anything untoward going off he'd have said he was going for a drink with his mate?

I wouldn’t worry. It’s a Wetherspoons.

I often go for a drink or food with male colleagues I don't see why it's an issue. Are you always this insecure?

It's not something that happened in my job, but is perfectly normal in just about all my friends' jobs!

A meeting that goes on to the end of the day, boss has come in from an hour away... "shall we continue this in the pub? I could do with a bit to eat before I set off home"
...absolutely normal and reasonable.

I thought it was normal to spend time with work colleagues

Let it slide? Crikey.

I've frequently been for unplanned lunches with my bosses. A few planned dinners and drinks with my bosses. Many unplanned drinks with bosses and other colleagues.
Would be particularly common if one or other of them had travelled to a different location to normal.

What's the concern?

I’m single and divorced, line manage several men who are married or have partners and have been out for dinner with them, just the two of us, on the odd occasion if we were away from home visiting another office or at a conference. I wouldn’t think for a second there was anything untoward about this. We talk work pretty much the whole time. It’s a good way to connect informally and build better work relationships. If I thought their wives or partners were at home posting about it online I’d be dying inside.

I'm single and have had spontaneous trips/drinks out with my married male colleagues. I would think their wives felt insecure if they had an issue with it.