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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Lodger cranks up heating to 25

582 replies

Mumskisail · 05/01/2023 10:37

My partner left a few years ago and I had time off work for burnout and now in a less stressful (lower paid) role so on a tight income. I rent 2 rooms to help cover my mortgage and bills (about 40%).

The house is heated to 18-21 degrees depending on the room / personal preference, using Nest thermostats (called TRVs) on each radiator. It is lowered at 11pm until 5.30am, meaning it's warm for about an hour after going to bed and it heats up for a few hours before the lodgers get up.

One lodger is very happy with this and prefers a cooler room so sometimes turns it down.

But the other constantly overrides this and heats his room to 25. When I've tried to speak to him about it he answers his door in a tshirt and is only wearing normal socks. The rest of us have warm clothes, slippers and big fleece hoodies on winter evenings, and use fleece blankets to stay cosy on the sofa.

We seem to be in a battle of wills. He goes along with my suggested times and temperatures in discussion but has done everything including claiming his radiator and the TRV don't work, disconnecting the TRV but trying to make it look as though it's connected, saying it won't connect and pulling the little pin out with a pair of pliers to force the heating on. He leaves it on all night. The thermostat when it's reading says 25-26.

The other issue in this old Victorian house is that the heating pumping out all night causes banging in the pipes and keeps myself and the other lodger awake, or wakes us up in the night. So we prefer lots of layers and a quiet night unless we're in a cold patch.

I've offered him extra duvets and blankets (his looks thin) and a hot water bottle but he refuses. I've asked him to discuss the times he wants the heating on and to talk about the heating.

He says the temperature reading is wrong so I gave him a wireless thermostat which showed the same temperature as the TRV and showed it was correct.

I've explained about the increasing cost of gas and showed him my bills. I've showed him the temperatures in the rest of the house and that we are comfortable.

This is the second winter we are having these issues. Last year his sister died so I just kept my mouth shut and left him to it but I felt really unhappy.

Do I just suck it up, winter will be over soon and I'm not making a loss. Or do I tell him it's not acceptable and ask him to leave? Or is it better the devil you know, this is the only issue.

A friend suggested a locking cover to go over the TRV, I'm so irritated it's tempting but is that really ethical? And anyway would he then just get an electric heater? I don't go into his room and I would never snoop.

He's a 44 year old man having to rent a room and it must be his sanctuary and private space.

Do I just let him win the battle and chill out?

OP posts:
caffelattetogo · 05/01/2023 10:41

I'd ask him to leave. He doesn't respect your house.

CottonSock · 05/01/2023 10:42

I wouldn't want to put up with this either. I had a lodger with similar behaviour.

Curiosity101 · 05/01/2023 10:42

Have you estimated how much more you expect the cost to be for the additional heating?

Can you work out a new rent rate for him and charge him accordingly when his contract is up? If he wants it warmer than agreed then that's up to him, I get that heating is a contentious subject. And whilst I agree with what you've written and personally I would say I prefer the temperatures and approach you take, I wouldn't want to enforce that on a grown adult who has had a whole lifetime to decide on their own personal preferences.

I wouldn't be out of pocket for it though, so I'd just up the rent at the next opportunity by an amount that will cover the additional heating in winter?

unfortunateevents · 05/01/2023 10:43

Seriously, get rid of him. I can understand that some people like a higher temperature but 25 degrees so he can walk around in a t-shirt in the middle of winter? Unacceptable when the cost of living is so high. It sounds like you have given him more than fair warning and not only is he causing you annoyance and extra costs but is also interfering with your rest and that of your other lodger. Give him notice, you sound like a caring and reasonable home owner, you will easily find another lodger.

pizzaHeart · 05/01/2023 10:43

I would tell him it’s unacceptable and ask him to leave. It looks like you’ve done everything possible and checked everything possible.
Another solution is to get him electric heater and increase his rent. However he looks a bit too argumentative to be a lodger imo.

MilkyYay · 05/01/2023 10:44

Ask him to leave. Whatever you do he will tamper with/replace with electric heaters etc.

25 degrees is absurd. 18 is a little low for some people but 19-21 is absolutely reasonable.

Cherryblossoms85 · 05/01/2023 10:46

I'd get rid. What's the next issue going to be?

Suzi888 · 05/01/2023 10:46

Electric blanket? Would he contribute more towards bills?
Being cold is miserable, DM has poor circulation so duvets wouldn’t cut it.

Finding a good lodger is hard. If this is the only issue I would ride it out, especially as you aren’t making a loss and the other lodger isn’t using the allocated amount.

StuckInTheUpsideDown · 05/01/2023 10:46

Get rid

Soontobe60 · 05/01/2023 10:46

Id put his rent up - call it a ‘heating supplement’

FlowerArranger · 05/01/2023 10:47

Keep it simple...

Rule 1 for lodgers: They are essentially paying guests in your home.

If a lodger doesn't fit in or gets on your tits, ask them to leave.

MaggieFS · 05/01/2023 10:47

If this is the only issue and he's otherwise ok as a lodger then I'd give him the choice of higher rent or finding somewhere else to live. If you no longer want him living with you, then just give him notice to leave.

RoseslnTheHospital · 05/01/2023 10:48

He has shown he is willing to be disingenuous and manipulative by tampering with the thermostat in his room and trying to claim it isn't working properly. That would be a trust issue for me and I would want to give him notice as a result. I would be clear up front with any new lodger about your house rules which are that the individual room thermostats shouldn't be above 22 degrees, and that they aren't allowed to have an electric heater (under normal circumstances).

BastardtheCat · 05/01/2023 10:49

DH used to be a T-shirt and shorts man all year round, then he retired and our annual income dropped substantially.

Now, it's fleeces and joggers and a blanket on the sofa at night.

You have two options:

  1. Raise his rent to cover additional costs
  2. Ask him to leave and give him notice.

You can be entirely honest and transparent about either option - you're not doing it out of malice; you are just trying to get by. You are definitely NOT being unreasonable here Flowers

StillWantingADog · 05/01/2023 10:50

I’d ask him to leave

or if he’s otherwise an excellent lodger tell him he can stay but his rent is increasing as of this month

Idontevenknow · 05/01/2023 10:50

If this is the only issue in a few years then I'm not sure I would just throw him out - can you afford to ask him to leave until you find someone else you feel safe to rent the room to?

I would look at raising his rent to cover the difference

mumda · 05/01/2023 10:50

Get a different lodger.

NCForQuestions · 05/01/2023 10:51

Give him notice. He's taking the piss, if affecting you both in your pocket and in your sleep.

Off he fucks.

poefaced · 05/01/2023 10:53

Yep, I’d give him notice to leave.

Fraaahnces · 05/01/2023 10:54

Double his rent or kick him out

upfucked · 05/01/2023 10:55

I’m team leave too

ThreeblackCats · 05/01/2023 10:56

I’d be giving him notice.
He doesn’t get to override your rules in your home, especially when it’s so expensive.

I’m guessing he already gets constant hot water, wifi, no other bills to live in your home apart from the rent?
Just tell him you can’t afford to have the heating that high, you don’t like having the house too hot and you don’t like the noise so he can move out at his earliest convenience but before end of February.

He’s being very disrespectful to keep altering the thermostat.

shreddies · 05/01/2023 10:56

You could up his rent, but if the relationship has soured this much I'd ask him to leave

FlounderingFruitcake · 05/01/2023 10:57

Give him notice to leave. I wouldn’t even consider increasing his rent because it wouldn’t stop the pipe banging.

OnTheRunWithMannyMontana · 05/01/2023 10:59

25 is stupid warm. I mean I need to be warm otherwise my chronic pain condition is so much worse but I would be passing out at 25!

Like you say as a man in his 40s having to rent a room it's important that he is comfortable. I would compromise with him, let him have his room warm but he needs to agree an increase in rent to cover the additional fuel cost.