Lodger cranks up heating to 25

[Mumskisail]

My partner left a few years ago and I had time off work for burnout and now in a less stressful (lower paid) role so on a tight income. I rent 2 rooms to help cover my mortgage and bills (about 40%).

The house is heated to 18-21 degrees depending on the room / personal preference, using Nest thermostats (called TRVs) on each radiator. It is lowered at 11pm until 5.30am, meaning it's warm for about an hour after going to bed and it heats up for a few hours before the lodgers get up.

One lodger is very happy with this and prefers a cooler room so sometimes turns it down.

But the other constantly overrides this and heats his room to 25. When I've tried to speak to him about it he answers his door in a tshirt and is only wearing normal socks. The rest of us have warm clothes, slippers and big fleece hoodies on winter evenings, and use fleece blankets to stay cosy on the sofa.

We seem to be in a battle of wills. He goes along with my suggested times and temperatures in discussion but has done everything including claiming his radiator and the TRV don't work, disconnecting the TRV but trying to make it look as though it's connected, saying it won't connect and pulling the little pin out with a pair of pliers to force the heating on. He leaves it on all night. The thermostat when it's reading says 25-26.

The other issue in this old Victorian house is that the heating pumping out all night causes banging in the pipes and keeps myself and the other lodger awake, or wakes us up in the night. So we prefer lots of layers and a quiet night unless we're in a cold patch.

I've offered him extra duvets and blankets (his looks thin) and a hot water bottle but he refuses. I've asked him to discuss the times he wants the heating on and to talk about the heating.

He says the temperature reading is wrong so I gave him a wireless thermostat which showed the same temperature as the TRV and showed it was correct.

I've explained about the increasing cost of gas and showed him my bills. I've showed him the temperatures in the rest of the house and that we are comfortable.

This is the second winter we are having these issues. Last year his sister died so I just kept my mouth shut and left him to it but I felt really unhappy.

Do I just suck it up, winter will be over soon and I'm not making a loss. Or do I tell him it's not acceptable and ask him to leave? Or is it better the devil you know, this is the only issue.

A friend suggested a locking cover to go over the TRV, I'm so irritated it's tempting but is that really ethical? And anyway would he then just get an electric heater? I don't go into his room and I would never snoop.

He's a 44 year old man having to rent a room and it must be his sanctuary and private space.

Do I just let him win the battle and chill out?

@Sarah2023Feb
You would likely attract a larger amount of posters and get more advice by starting your own thread. As for the heating, she could possibly burn through her actual rent amount with the electric fire if it’s fairly low. I would take meter readings and enquire with your utility company how much your property has been consuming for starters.

Thankyou so much!

Can you not charge rent for the room/home then add a bill split?

IME, lodgers who have all inclusive access have little concept of just how much the bills are.

I remember once many years ago, I had a lodger but we effectively house shared. I left one morning but had forgotten something so had to nip back home about 15 minutes after leaving.

I came back to the gas fire roaring and the heating on full whack. Lodger was like a deer caught in the headlights. It was just disrespectful and although I didn't say anything at the time, I got rid of her soon after as it was so sneaky and felt dishonest.

If she'd been splitting the bills with me, it would have been a different story.

So agree with this.

An electric fan heater heating one room can really mount up.

I think being very clear on your rules to start with is wise.

You can ease up as you get a feel for the person.

But renting out a single room would not include visitors overnight to me.

They need a house share for that.

I would not be having randomers coming into your home showering, eating etc.
Completely defeating the point of a lodger.

The clearer you are at the beginning the better.

I think some on this thread really should refrain from having lodgers. No phone calls allowed ? Wtf , no heating . What next no more than a bath a week ? Sounds utter ridiculous

Some people are oblivious to how their phone habits affect others, though. E.g. having very long and loud video calls most evenings while sitting in the shared lounge or kitchen. I had that happen with a lodger who was from another country. It would have been no trouble if the calls had been kept to their room. It wasn’t enough to bring the agreement to an end, but it was definitely annoying.

@Wiluli - you're taking this out of context. Making private phone calls in a shared space is rude. Taking them in your private space is not. I don't need to hear my lodger's sex talk - it's disgusting and should remain private