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Original poster

Lodger cranks up heating to 25

582 replies

Mumskisail · 05/01/2023 10:37

My partner left a few years ago and I had time off work for burnout and now in a less stressful (lower paid) role so on a tight income. I rent 2 rooms to help cover my mortgage and bills (about 40%).

The house is heated to 18-21 degrees depending on the room / personal preference, using Nest thermostats (called TRVs) on each radiator. It is lowered at 11pm until 5.30am, meaning it's warm for about an hour after going to bed and it heats up for a few hours before the lodgers get up.

One lodger is very happy with this and prefers a cooler room so sometimes turns it down.

But the other constantly overrides this and heats his room to 25. When I've tried to speak to him about it he answers his door in a tshirt and is only wearing normal socks. The rest of us have warm clothes, slippers and big fleece hoodies on winter evenings, and use fleece blankets to stay cosy on the sofa.

We seem to be in a battle of wills. He goes along with my suggested times and temperatures in discussion but has done everything including claiming his radiator and the TRV don't work, disconnecting the TRV but trying to make it look as though it's connected, saying it won't connect and pulling the little pin out with a pair of pliers to force the heating on. He leaves it on all night. The thermostat when it's reading says 25-26.

The other issue in this old Victorian house is that the heating pumping out all night causes banging in the pipes and keeps myself and the other lodger awake, or wakes us up in the night. So we prefer lots of layers and a quiet night unless we're in a cold patch.

I've offered him extra duvets and blankets (his looks thin) and a hot water bottle but he refuses. I've asked him to discuss the times he wants the heating on and to talk about the heating.

He says the temperature reading is wrong so I gave him a wireless thermostat which showed the same temperature as the TRV and showed it was correct.

I've explained about the increasing cost of gas and showed him my bills. I've showed him the temperatures in the rest of the house and that we are comfortable.

This is the second winter we are having these issues. Last year his sister died so I just kept my mouth shut and left him to it but I felt really unhappy.

Do I just suck it up, winter will be over soon and I'm not making a loss. Or do I tell him it's not acceptable and ask him to leave? Or is it better the devil you know, this is the only issue.

A friend suggested a locking cover to go over the TRV, I'm so irritated it's tempting but is that really ethical? And anyway would he then just get an electric heater? I don't go into his room and I would never snoop.

He's a 44 year old man having to rent a room and it must be his sanctuary and private space.

Do I just let him win the battle and chill out?

OP posts:
MyAnacondaMight · 05/01/2023 11:34

Just get rid. He is taking the piss out of you.

MiniCooperLover · 05/01/2023 11:35

Increase his rent.

BradfordGirl · 05/01/2023 11:36

Mumskisail · 05/01/2023 11:30

Bradford Girl - I don't expect him to use a blanket and fleece, but it's a practical suggestion if he's cold. I love a blanket on the sofa! He literally lies on his bed in a tshirt and eats a sausage roll for supper so he doesn't move even to the kitchen for 5 hours til bed. No wonder he gets cold in a bloody T-shirt. His duvet is very thin, I've offered him a thick one to borrow but he would rather keep us awake and waste money than use it.

I would never use a blanket on a sofa unless I could not afford to heat my home.

Sparklfairy · 05/01/2023 11:36

Just put his rent up if he wants extra heat compared to you and the other lodger. Dont subsidise him.

If youd prefer him to leave, put the rent up so much that he chooses to go Wink

MattDamon · 05/01/2023 11:37

It's unreasonable to tell an adult they can't control the temp in their own room. 18-21 is too cold for me on a cold night, I keep it at 22-23. I would also need steady heat, not having it go off an hour into sleep. I would wake up shivering. Agree that he should be paying for it, though.

It doesn't sound like you're a good fit so I'd be giving him notice. In the future, make sure you tell future lodgers beforehand you aren't going to let them control the temp in their rooms so they can decide if it works for them.

ClubhouseGift · 05/01/2023 11:37

Mumskisail · 05/01/2023 11:30

Bradford Girl - I don't expect him to use a blanket and fleece, but it's a practical suggestion if he's cold. I love a blanket on the sofa! He literally lies on his bed in a tshirt and eats a sausage roll for supper so he doesn't move even to the kitchen for 5 hours til bed. No wonder he gets cold in a bloody T-shirt. His duvet is very thin, I've offered him a thick one to borrow but he would rather keep us awake and waste money than use it.

Nobody should be having to snuggle under a blanket to keep warm in their home, nor should they be expected to dress up in lots of layers either.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 05/01/2023 11:39

Either get him to leave, or up the rent to compensate.

I like a warm house, but 25 is ridiculous.

Glittertwins · 05/01/2023 11:39

I agree with PP, either he pays more for the additional usage or he can leave.

Soothsayer1 · 05/01/2023 11:39

He's treating you with contempt and laughing in your face, if you let him get away with it he will escalate.
Imo if you can't get things under control quickly you should to ask him to leave.

HauntedPencil · 05/01/2023 11:39

Seems the obvious solution if he wants more heating than you feel is included in the rent he pays to ask for more during the winter as he's using more than the other lodger then he can stay warm, as long as it's a fair price

I would want to be warmer and also happy to pay for it

lonelyblonde · 05/01/2023 11:40

The rest of us have warm clothes, slippers and big fleece hoodies on winter evenings, and use fleece blankets to stay cosy on the sofa

I really don't think that you can make anyone live like this. He has a right to feel warm in his own room.

Phrenologistsfinger · 05/01/2023 11:40

I love a sofa blanket and cosy layers and our heating never goes over 20c!

Everyone needs to realise that climate change means we will all have to make sacrifices until alternative heat sources are widely available. Heating to 25c is ridiculous and unreasonable (and I have an underactive thyroid and achey joints that feel the cold!).

MrsSkylerWhite · 05/01/2023 11:40

Nobody should be having to snuggle under a blanket to keep warm in their home, nor should they be expected to dress up in lots of layers either“

we have to, we own our home.

it isn’t his own home. He rents a room in some else’s and pays a fixed rent. Heating costs have gone through the roof. He either layers up or finds alternative accommodation. 25 degrees is ridiculous.

Why do some people think they ought to be able to wear a t-shirt in January in the UK? Nuts.

MsRosley · 05/01/2023 11:40

You're just an irritating female-pitched noise in your head, and he has absolutely no interest in what you think. Kick him out.

MsRosley · 05/01/2023 11:40

his head, I mean!

bowlingalleyblues · 05/01/2023 11:40

Get rid, or tell him to buy an oil filled radiator and pay a bit extra for the electric. Solves the banging pipe issue.

BradfordGirl · 05/01/2023 11:42

Bleed your radiators. It is basic house maintenance.

Original poster
Mumskisail · 05/01/2023 11:42

Lonely blonde - are you really saying it's unreasonable to expect someone to be okay with a room heated to 21 degrees? Or to wear a few layers and some slippers in winter?

OP posts:
ShakespearesBlister · 05/01/2023 11:42

I don't think I could cope having to wear fleece hoodies and fleece blankets.

ClubhouseGift · 05/01/2023 11:45

@MrsSkylerWhite You might have to, but you shouldn’t have to.

It is not his house or his property no, but it is his home because he lives there.

AdobeWanKenobi · 05/01/2023 11:46

ShakespearesBlister · 05/01/2023 11:42

I don't think I could cope having to wear fleece hoodies and fleece blankets.

We're all different though aren't we?

I don't think I could cope having to wear t shirts and socks. Heat like that a overnight would give me the mother of all headaches.

BradfordGirl · 05/01/2023 11:46

@Mumskisail You said in your OP 18 to 21 degrees. 18 degrees is cold and unreasonable.
And he can lie on his bed if he wants. No different to sitting on the sofa.

Calphurnia88 · 05/01/2023 11:48

MrsSkylerWhite · 05/01/2023 11:40

Nobody should be having to snuggle under a blanket to keep warm in their home, nor should they be expected to dress up in lots of layers either“

we have to, we own our home.

it isn’t his own home. He rents a room in some else’s and pays a fixed rent. Heating costs have gone through the roof. He either layers up or finds alternative accommodation. 25 degrees is ridiculous.

Why do some people think they ought to be able to wear a t-shirt in January in the UK? Nuts.

I agree.

Unpopular opinion but if you want to turn the heating up to 25 degrees and lounge around in a t-shirt then do it in your own home, on your own terms.

I'm sure he would quickly discover the benefits of layers if he was solely responsible for paying the bills.

RenegadeMrs · 05/01/2023 11:49

Constant indoor temperture of 25 would give me a constant headache.

We are all different but I think he should be able to understand that he needs to pay for what he uses and unless he is totally obivious will know that costs have gone up since last winter. When is his contract due for renewal?

You need to discuss upping his payment (maybe only over winter?) to cover your costs or you need to get rid of him.

EL8888 · 05/01/2023 11:49

lonelyblonde · 05/01/2023 11:40

The rest of us have warm clothes, slippers and big fleece hoodies on winter evenings, and use fleece blankets to stay cosy on the sofa

I really don't think that you can make anyone live like this. He has a right to feel warm in his own room.

Of course he doesn’t have to wear fleeces etc. But he has to pay for cranking the heating up and not expecting to be subsidised by others

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