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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Lodger cranks up heating to 25

582 replies

Mumskisail · 05/01/2023 10:37

My partner left a few years ago and I had time off work for burnout and now in a less stressful (lower paid) role so on a tight income. I rent 2 rooms to help cover my mortgage and bills (about 40%).

The house is heated to 18-21 degrees depending on the room / personal preference, using Nest thermostats (called TRVs) on each radiator. It is lowered at 11pm until 5.30am, meaning it's warm for about an hour after going to bed and it heats up for a few hours before the lodgers get up.

One lodger is very happy with this and prefers a cooler room so sometimes turns it down.

But the other constantly overrides this and heats his room to 25. When I've tried to speak to him about it he answers his door in a tshirt and is only wearing normal socks. The rest of us have warm clothes, slippers and big fleece hoodies on winter evenings, and use fleece blankets to stay cosy on the sofa.

We seem to be in a battle of wills. He goes along with my suggested times and temperatures in discussion but has done everything including claiming his radiator and the TRV don't work, disconnecting the TRV but trying to make it look as though it's connected, saying it won't connect and pulling the little pin out with a pair of pliers to force the heating on. He leaves it on all night. The thermostat when it's reading says 25-26.

The other issue in this old Victorian house is that the heating pumping out all night causes banging in the pipes and keeps myself and the other lodger awake, or wakes us up in the night. So we prefer lots of layers and a quiet night unless we're in a cold patch.

I've offered him extra duvets and blankets (his looks thin) and a hot water bottle but he refuses. I've asked him to discuss the times he wants the heating on and to talk about the heating.

He says the temperature reading is wrong so I gave him a wireless thermostat which showed the same temperature as the TRV and showed it was correct.

I've explained about the increasing cost of gas and showed him my bills. I've showed him the temperatures in the rest of the house and that we are comfortable.

This is the second winter we are having these issues. Last year his sister died so I just kept my mouth shut and left him to it but I felt really unhappy.

Do I just suck it up, winter will be over soon and I'm not making a loss. Or do I tell him it's not acceptable and ask him to leave? Or is it better the devil you know, this is the only issue.

A friend suggested a locking cover to go over the TRV, I'm so irritated it's tempting but is that really ethical? And anyway would he then just get an electric heater? I don't go into his room and I would never snoop.

He's a 44 year old man having to rent a room and it must be his sanctuary and private space.

Do I just let him win the battle and chill out?

OP posts:
bonzaitree · 05/01/2023 11:22

Serve him his notice. No explanation needed. Deal with the heating in his notice period.

You don’t want someone in your home who pays lip service when you speak to them but does something else entirely. It’s not honest on his part and IMO he is taking advantage of the situation. If he were paying out of pocket he’d find his jumper!

When you get a new lodger, state the hours the heating is on and the temperatures the thermostat is set at. Say additional heating may be provided upon negotiation, but will be subject to an additional charge.

BradfordGirl · 05/01/2023 11:23

I would not expect to have to use a fleece blanket over normal clothes to be warm enough if I am paying for a heated room.
I think 18 degrees is too low for this situation and 25 degrees is too high.
The fact you seem to expect him to use a fleece blanket to be warm enough does suggest that the temperature is lower than you are making out. If a house is at 21 degrees no one should need to wear a fleecy hoodie and have a fleece blanket over them.
If your pipes are banging the radiators need bleeding. This may also be affecting the efficiency of heating.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 05/01/2023 11:23

Can you work out a new rent rate for him and charge him accordingly when his contract is up? If he wants it warmer than agreed then that's up to him

Perfectly reasonable. I like to have a blow-out an elegant sufficiency on the rare occasions I get to go out to restaurants, but there's no way I'd ever expect to pay the same as somebody just having a salad and no side orders. I'm happy, the restaurant is happy, my fellow diners are happy.

ErrolTheDragon · 05/01/2023 11:25

The other issue in this old Victorian house is that the heating pumping out all night causes banging in the pipes and keeps myself and the other lodger awake, or wakes us up in the night.

I'd give him his marching orders. Messing around with the heating and raising your bills is bad, but having no consideration for other peoples sleep is selfish.

It really is 'your house, your rules'.

mrsm43s · 05/01/2023 11:25

I don't think it's reasonable to expect him to be cold, or to bundle up in fleece hoodies, extra blankets etc (and it's hard to understand why you find that necessary if you're really heating the house to 19-21 degrees).

What is reasonable is to up his rent to cover additional fuel costs, and if the heating is waking you up at night, then to provide him with an electric/oil fired heater and ask him to use that overnight rather than the GCH to keep his room warm.

BarrelOfOtters · 05/01/2023 11:26

He's not compatible. You need a different lodger.

ClubhouseGift · 05/01/2023 11:26

He’s living there too, so he’s entitled to have it as hot as he likes. He should be contributing more to the heating bills though as compensation.

Judelawsnanny · 05/01/2023 11:26

Leave from me too, selfish sod. Warmest year ever last year, does my head in that people are still so selfish with regards to climate crisis

Original poster
Mumskisail · 05/01/2023 11:27

An electric or oil fired radiator would cost even more and he'd probably heat his room to 30 so I definitely would not be happy to agree to that. I really feel what I have proposed is reasonable.

OP posts:
RudsyFarmer · 05/01/2023 11:27

Yep I think you’ve done your best and now it’s time for him to find a new sucker to leech off.

Brefugee · 05/01/2023 11:27

ask him to pay more to compensate or move out.
Frankly? ask him to move out and see what he says. It is ridiculous to be in a t-shirt in winter, especially these days.

And if he moves out, make sure that you make it clear that there will be a heaving supplement if the next person changes the settings.

BradfordGirl · 05/01/2023 11:28

@mrsm43s I agree. I don't actually believe the house is being heated to 21 degrees if everyone is wearing fleecy hoodies and with fleece blankets over them on the sofa. The house is obviously cold.

durhamduck · 05/01/2023 11:28

I like 25, surprised anyone who really grew up in the tropics (unless it was an expat air con environment) would say 25 is crazy hot... In the country I used to live in, the last time it hit 26 during a freak cold snap, people put on their padded holiday winter coats! The British embassy made an amused tweet about that.

Not that anyone cares, but 30 to 50 is the usual temperature in the tropics, and the coolest it ever gets at night is high 20s. Humidity is also very high in the tropics — can go up to 90%, whereas it hovers under 20-30% in British summers and "heatwaves". So 30s abroad would feel like 40s in summer here!

Anyway, surely the point of rental income is money and lower stress - both of which this situation is working against? Make him pay a higher rate or ask him to leave. His behaviour sounds very childish and dishonest - I wonder if he would actually fork up for the bills if asked to.

Tinkerbyebye · 05/01/2023 11:29

Sent your heating to come on at say 6am in the morning and off at 10pm.

Get the TRV sorted so he can’t adjust it

Work out how much his heating is costing and charge him for it

Ask him to leave

Mumoffairy · 05/01/2023 11:29

25 degrees seems a bit extrem, but my house is always at 23. I wouldnt be comfortable lower than that. I dont want to sit on the couch in the evening wearing several layers, heated blankets, hot water bottles etc. that just seems ridiculous to me.
Of course if you cant afford it, then theres no way around it, but he is paying to live there, so he should be comfortable. If you dont make a loss, i would accept it.
Imagine you kick him out and the next lodger has an even worse habit that costs you more money..

BradfordGirl · 05/01/2023 11:29

When you advertise for your next lodger. make it clear in the winter you expect them to wear a fleecy hoodie and use a fleece blanket to sit on the sofa so they are warm enough.

user1496262496 · 05/01/2023 11:30

Tell him to leave. The only reason he is living in your house is because you will make money from it. As things stand he will be costing you money. Get rid!

SproutsLCerVEGNoEgg · 05/01/2023 11:30

I couldn't cope with lodgers. I'm far too particular about ...well everything really!

but this one would definitely be gone!! Fucking about with the TRV/radiator the way he has. No way.

causing the heating to come on in the night & waking me. He'd be gone immediately.

However, I can't imagine that heating one bedroom to 25 (from 18/19) is costing that much.

Original poster
Mumskisail · 05/01/2023 11:30

Bradford Girl - I don't expect him to use a blanket and fleece, but it's a practical suggestion if he's cold. I love a blanket on the sofa! He literally lies on his bed in a tshirt and eats a sausage roll for supper so he doesn't move even to the kitchen for 5 hours til bed. No wonder he gets cold in a bloody T-shirt. His duvet is very thin, I've offered him a thick one to borrow but he would rather keep us awake and waste money than use it.

OP posts:
GasPanic · 05/01/2023 11:33

TBH if he behaves like this about heating it's hard to believe he would be reasonable about other stuff where you come into conflict.

If he isn't willing to compromise and work to resolve conflict on these sorts of issues you have to ask yourself whether he is really suited to being a lodger.

durhamduck · 05/01/2023 11:33

Mumskisail · 05/01/2023 11:30

Bradford Girl - I don't expect him to use a blanket and fleece, but it's a practical suggestion if he's cold. I love a blanket on the sofa! He literally lies on his bed in a tshirt and eats a sausage roll for supper so he doesn't move even to the kitchen for 5 hours til bed. No wonder he gets cold in a bloody T-shirt. His duvet is very thin, I've offered him a thick one to borrow but he would rather keep us awake and waste money than use it.

You probably already know this, but you can't dictate how a grown man prefers to dress, move or eat. I'd focus on the increased bills and dishonest tampering — either make him pay a higher rate or give him notice

Craftybodger · 05/01/2023 11:33

Give home notice, he is not respecting your rules. If he’s a good lodger in other ways you could offer him a new contract at a higher level, with new restrictions on temperature/use of heating etc.

Toomanysleepycats · 05/01/2023 11:34

You say the boiler being on disturbs you and your other lodgers sleep. For that reason I would buy a safe electric heater he could use himself.

Wether you charge extra is up to you.

Or give him notice.

snowsilver · 05/01/2023 11:34

Just charge him more!
That one room is his home, as long as he pays he's entitled to live how he wants and not be told to wear a blanket.

roses2 · 05/01/2023 11:34

You don't need to wait for him to move out. Just give him two options: give notice to increase the rent to cover the extra usage or he can move out if it's too much for him.

When I had lodgers I did an all inclusive contract up to "£x/month gas/electric bill". Anything above that got split equally.

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