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AIBU?

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Original poster

Lodger cranks up heating to 25

582 replies

Mumskisail · 05/01/2023 10:37

My partner left a few years ago and I had time off work for burnout and now in a less stressful (lower paid) role so on a tight income. I rent 2 rooms to help cover my mortgage and bills (about 40%).

The house is heated to 18-21 degrees depending on the room / personal preference, using Nest thermostats (called TRVs) on each radiator. It is lowered at 11pm until 5.30am, meaning it's warm for about an hour after going to bed and it heats up for a few hours before the lodgers get up.

One lodger is very happy with this and prefers a cooler room so sometimes turns it down.

But the other constantly overrides this and heats his room to 25. When I've tried to speak to him about it he answers his door in a tshirt and is only wearing normal socks. The rest of us have warm clothes, slippers and big fleece hoodies on winter evenings, and use fleece blankets to stay cosy on the sofa.

We seem to be in a battle of wills. He goes along with my suggested times and temperatures in discussion but has done everything including claiming his radiator and the TRV don't work, disconnecting the TRV but trying to make it look as though it's connected, saying it won't connect and pulling the little pin out with a pair of pliers to force the heating on. He leaves it on all night. The thermostat when it's reading says 25-26.

The other issue in this old Victorian house is that the heating pumping out all night causes banging in the pipes and keeps myself and the other lodger awake, or wakes us up in the night. So we prefer lots of layers and a quiet night unless we're in a cold patch.

I've offered him extra duvets and blankets (his looks thin) and a hot water bottle but he refuses. I've asked him to discuss the times he wants the heating on and to talk about the heating.

He says the temperature reading is wrong so I gave him a wireless thermostat which showed the same temperature as the TRV and showed it was correct.

I've explained about the increasing cost of gas and showed him my bills. I've showed him the temperatures in the rest of the house and that we are comfortable.

This is the second winter we are having these issues. Last year his sister died so I just kept my mouth shut and left him to it but I felt really unhappy.

Do I just suck it up, winter will be over soon and I'm not making a loss. Or do I tell him it's not acceptable and ask him to leave? Or is it better the devil you know, this is the only issue.

A friend suggested a locking cover to go over the TRV, I'm so irritated it's tempting but is that really ethical? And anyway would he then just get an electric heater? I don't go into his room and I would never snoop.

He's a 44 year old man having to rent a room and it must be his sanctuary and private space.

Do I just let him win the battle and chill out?

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 05/01/2023 11:49

I’d absolutely give him notice. I have a feeling if you upped the rent, he would find a way to make his room even hotter. He doesn’t care about your comfort by the sound of it and seems rather entitled.

RenegadeMrs · 05/01/2023 11:51

Also, can you turn the heating off altogether from a central point overnight, so at least its not disturbing you when you try and sleep?

Narwhalsh · 05/01/2023 11:51

Turn the boiler off completely overnight at the very least

WindUpPenguin · 05/01/2023 11:53

I think you are being unreasonable in not giving him the option of a 25 degree room if he is willing to pay for it. If he agrees to pay more over the winter, he can have his room at a higher temperature.

However, I don't see why anyone would need the heating on all night. Is there a way to stop him overriding it at night?

Calphurnia88 · 05/01/2023 11:54

I have a feeling if you upped the rent, he would find a way to make his room even hotter.

@Mummyoflittledragon I think you're right. Time to find a new lodger OP, this setup isn't worth the hassle.

JellyBabiesSaveLives · 05/01/2023 11:54

Take the Nest TRV off his radiator and put a dumb valve on. The heat in his room will only come on when a radiator somewhere else in the house is calling for heat, so that will solve your overnight clanking radiator problem. His radiator will be at full blast whenever another radiator is on, so work out what that costs and increase his rent.

or boot his arse out for being a lying manipulative wanker. I wouldn’t want someone like that in my home

Swannning · 05/01/2023 11:54

It sounds like he is not the right fit for your home.

He likes a warm home and you don't.

I would be like your lodger and prefer a warm home to layers of blankets etc. I prefer to be warm and comfortable and don't like lots of layers, but have tried to embrace them as DP doesn't feel the cold as I do and gets a headache if the house is above 20 degrees.

I think you need to ask him to pay more or leave.

MrsSkylerWhite · 05/01/2023 11:55

ClubhouseGift · Today 11:45
@MrsSkylerWhite You might have to, but you shouldn’t have to.

It is not his house or his property no, but it is his home because he lives there.“

Of course we should! It’s January. We live in the UK. Do you really think that putting on a jumper and slippers is unacceptable? Don’t be silly.

It isn’t his home, it’s OP’s. What she says goes, If he doesn’t like the terms, he’s free to move out.

BradfordGirl · 05/01/2023 11:56

You need to be clear in future what your set up is i.e. when a potential lodger visits - these are the times and settings for the heating. They can't be changed. Then people can make the decision based on being forewarned.

Flapjackquack · 05/01/2023 11:56

18 degrees is the WHO recommended temperature for healthy and well dressed people. It’s not cold. It is a luxury to have the heating so high you can wear a Tshirt in winter and not move around (not great for the environment either!). Sensible people wear a jumper and slippers on top of T-shirt and trousers at the very least.

Could you ask him to either sign a new agreement that says heating above 21 will require a contribution to the bills or he will need to go elsewhere? You could ask both to sign this new agreement as sounds like the other lodger wouldn’t have an issue with it. It sounds like he doesn’t respects you or your home to be honest if he is breaking your smart thermostats, they aren’t cheap!

user1492757084 · 05/01/2023 11:57

Charge the lodger more for the power bill. he wants a warmer room so he should understand paying extra.

BradfordGirl · 05/01/2023 11:57

@MrsSkylerWhite What she says goes.
Up to a point, but relations with lodgers always go better if you are clear when people come to look at the room, what the set up is. The difficulties come when assumptions are made on both sides.
And remember rents for a room are usually pretty high given what people get.

MeridianB · 05/01/2023 11:58

unfortunateevents · 05/01/2023 10:43

Seriously, get rid of him. I can understand that some people like a higher temperature but 25 degrees so he can walk around in a t-shirt in the middle of winter? Unacceptable when the cost of living is so high. It sounds like you have given him more than fair warning and not only is he causing you annoyance and extra costs but is also interfering with your rest and that of your other lodger. Give him notice, you sound like a caring and reasonable home owner, you will easily find another lodger.

I agree with this.

Adviceneeded200 · 05/01/2023 11:58

Increase his rent or give him whatever notice is required. Lodgers have to fit in with others because its a different type of arrangement than a tenant with their own self contained place.

He clearly doesn't really understand that arrangement so he is better moving.

BradfordGirl · 05/01/2023 11:59

@Flapjackquack 18 degrees is the minimum recommended temperature to ensure good health. WHO say nothing about whether that is warm. They simply say that below 18 that the temperature has a negative impact on health.

ImBlueDab · 05/01/2023 12:00

Either ask him to leave or charge him extra to make up for the additional heating costs

Strawberriesandmelons · 05/01/2023 12:01

I wouldn't be impressed being told to wear extra clothing when I'm paying for a rented room where heating is included in the cost. It's absolutely miserable way to live.

StarDolphins · 05/01/2023 12:01

I’d increase his rent. If he doesn’t like it he can leave. If he wants it that hot, he needs to pay more!

blueshoes · 05/01/2023 12:02

He needs to find another sanctuary. This is your sanctuary and he is making you stressed under your own roof as well as costing you financially. The whole point of a lodger is to get in some extra cash. So what is the point of him?

I'd hate to come home and do a cat-and-mouse with him. It must weigh on your mind.

Honestly, just get rid. If the other one does not work out, get rid quickly and calmly. I used to have au pairs live under my roof and the physical and head space they take up is considerable. I was a firing machine.

Pleasecreateausername13 · 05/01/2023 12:03

How can he possibly sleep in a room that’s 25c all night. He is at it.

dcut · 05/01/2023 12:03

He's taking the piss.
Yes, he should be warm in his own room but that does not mean he can crank up the heating as high as he likes without having to contribute more to the bills.
So he either sticks to the agreed temperature and puts more clothes on or whatever
Or he pays more towards the bills
Or he leaves and finds somewhere else to live
He's a lodger and that means he's living in someone else's home which also means he needs to accept their rules and the temperature they want to heat the house to.

I'm saying he's taking the piss because my ex was a lodger before he moved in with me (and yeah, he was a real cocklodger, should have known better). He was paying 300 quid a month in rent for his room, all bills included, and he also cranked the heating up as far as it would go, lay around in T-shirt and underpants all day when he wasn't at work and had a bath every single day (there was a shower available). He must have been costing his landlady a fortune in bills.
When he moved in with me I said if he wanted a bath every day he would have to contribute extra towards the bills (we split them 50:50) because we moved to a country where water is metered and very expensive, never mind the cost of heating it. Once he realized I was serious he stopped the baths immediately as he didn't want to pay extra...

OP, I'd ask him to leave because this isn't going to get any better.

blueshoes · 05/01/2023 12:05

Pleasecreateausername13 · 05/01/2023 12:03

How can he possibly sleep in a room that’s 25c all night. He is at it.

"He is at it"

Do you mean growing weed?

birder · 05/01/2023 12:05

We have banging pipes, not fixable according to British gas. There is no way anyone can sleep in certain rooms when the heating is on, so I couldn't live with that OP. He would have to go.

Flapjackquack · 05/01/2023 12:08

BradfordGirl · 05/01/2023 11:59

@Flapjackquack 18 degrees is the minimum recommended temperature to ensure good health. WHO say nothing about whether that is warm. They simply say that below 18 that the temperature has a negative impact on health.

Yes buts it’s not cold as you said previously. Being a lodger tends to cost less than other forms of tenancies because you have a lot less rights. I am all for people treating lodgers well, but wanting the heating at 25 degrees is not at all reasonable and I am not sure why you think it is. Even if it was someone’s own house, for environmental reasons alone I’d think they were unreasonable (usual disclaimer about illness/disability etc).

Allywill · 05/01/2023 12:08

We have tado (not nest) so not sure if any of these features are available to you. Tado has a child lock features which disables any manual changes to the temp via the tvr. Is a child lock available on nest? Tado max temp is 25 degrees but you can set an offset temp. So if you set the offset temp for his tvr to -4 the tvr would show 25 degrees but the room would only actually heat to 21 (25-4) again not sure if nest has this.
ultimately though whatever you put in place, if he is cold he will just find a workaround like buying a plug in heater, so you need to consider what else you can do if he persists. A heating surcharge would be my preferred option I think.

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