Lodger cranks up heating to 25

[Mumskisail]

My partner left a few years ago and I had time off work for burnout and now in a less stressful (lower paid) role so on a tight income. I rent 2 rooms to help cover my mortgage and bills (about 40%).

The house is heated to 18-21 degrees depending on the room / personal preference, using Nest thermostats (called TRVs) on each radiator. It is lowered at 11pm until 5.30am, meaning it's warm for about an hour after going to bed and it heats up for a few hours before the lodgers get up.

One lodger is very happy with this and prefers a cooler room so sometimes turns it down.

But the other constantly overrides this and heats his room to 25. When I've tried to speak to him about it he answers his door in a tshirt and is only wearing normal socks. The rest of us have warm clothes, slippers and big fleece hoodies on winter evenings, and use fleece blankets to stay cosy on the sofa.

We seem to be in a battle of wills. He goes along with my suggested times and temperatures in discussion but has done everything including claiming his radiator and the TRV don't work, disconnecting the TRV but trying to make it look as though it's connected, saying it won't connect and pulling the little pin out with a pair of pliers to force the heating on. He leaves it on all night. The thermostat when it's reading says 25-26.

The other issue in this old Victorian house is that the heating pumping out all night causes banging in the pipes and keeps myself and the other lodger awake, or wakes us up in the night. So we prefer lots of layers and a quiet night unless we're in a cold patch.

I've offered him extra duvets and blankets (his looks thin) and a hot water bottle but he refuses. I've asked him to discuss the times he wants the heating on and to talk about the heating.

He says the temperature reading is wrong so I gave him a wireless thermostat which showed the same temperature as the TRV and showed it was correct.

I've explained about the increasing cost of gas and showed him my bills. I've showed him the temperatures in the rest of the house and that we are comfortable.

This is the second winter we are having these issues. Last year his sister died so I just kept my mouth shut and left him to it but I felt really unhappy.

Do I just suck it up, winter will be over soon and I'm not making a loss. Or do I tell him it's not acceptable and ask him to leave? Or is it better the devil you know, this is the only issue.

A friend suggested a locking cover to go over the TRV, I'm so irritated it's tempting but is that really ethical? And anyway would he then just get an electric heater? I don't go into his room and I would never snoop.

He's a 44 year old man having to rent a room and it must be his sanctuary and private space.

Do I just let him win the battle and chill out?

Good news! So long Simon, don’t let the door hit you on your way out. 👋🏻

I changed the name just to be clear 😅

Hurrah! Just be very picky and have your next lodger on a trial basis from both sides!

Oh that’s good news. Thank goodness he’s gone. You can both relax now. You’re well rid of the nasty bastard.

Glad you're rid from of him, OP.

I had a lodger. When we were at work, he'd put the heating on at 30 then go out.

He'd go into the study, which we told him wasn't communal, and use the home phone to call gambling lines.

He'd also refuse to flush the fucking toilet. He was truly vile.

Phew. What a relief. You've been through the wringer with this. It can go very bad with lodgers and when it does, it's immensely stressful and may end with a bang or a tangled mess. I doubt I could have coped as well as you did. That's why I had it in mind earlier to advise you to pay down the mortgage as fast as you can and dispense with lodgers - before I read today's update. And I am glad you are happy with your one lodger and it would be great if you could do with one, for a happy home and happy life.

While I recognise the awful time you've had with this lodger and that you are better off being free of him, I didn't agree with your view of house temperatures, while recognising he did wrong things with the heating, and I don't agree that a single person having a child is that unusual or that it is doing them a favour, if I can phrase it like that. It's difficult living in someone else's house rather than their own but it is their life. Realistically, it's recognising the needs of a parent to spend time with the child and vice versa and staying over I would regard as a natural way of doing that and a normal reasonable request. And yes, he should do his share of cleaning and cooperating.

If renting a room in your home to a single person there is definitely no obligation or requirement to allow house guests and all of this is very clear in the contract. Renting a room is generally much cheaper and more flexible than going into a house share in many ways but the limitations are around living under someone else's rules, keeping your belongings in your room and not having visitors. It's not for everyone and generally suits younger people, those who rent Mon-Fri for work and those who just need somewhere for a period of time and/or who regularly visit family or a partner living elsewhere.

That's a great update!

I bet you are all relieved.

I don't agree that a single person having a child is that unusual or that it is doing them a favour, if I can phrase it like that. It's difficult living in someone else's house rather than their own but it is their life. Realistically, it's recognising the needs of a parent to spend time with the child and vice versa and staying over I would regard as a natural way of doing that and a normal reasonable request.

Sure a parent needs to spend time with their child.

As a live in landlord, they don't need to do it in my house. They can take their child to McDonald's or the zoo or the park. I'm absolutely not prepared to supervise interactions between my dog and their child, or risk my antique furniture, or indeed have to worry about swearing in my own home in front of a child. Their custody arrangements aren't my problem.

If they want to do overnights then it's rare that a lodging arrangement will be suitable; a small self contained flat would be more appropriate. The OP has been very accommodating in allowing child overnights, and 'Simon' will be lucky to find another live in landlord who will.

@OP I bet you're relieved!

I'd suggest taking a month off from having lodgers and then chat with your other lodger - perhaps discuss that you're thinking of leaving that room as a guest room and taking the hit on the rent, but bills would now need to be divided between 2 not 3, and see what they say.

Glad it worked out for you OP - especially with the cold snap again this week!

Well done OP glad it worked out for you in the end. Good riddance Simon!

Great result all round OP. Glad he’s buggared off. What a horrible person.
I know I would hate having someone so awkward live in my house. I expect when he got too hot he opened the window rather than turn the heat down… where did he live before renting with you? Hawaii??
I wouldn’t rent to a man I don’t think, It’s hard enough living with a man you’re married to… toilet seats being left up, tiddle on floor, and generally men don’t like being told what to do by women.. some find it somehow emasculates them or something I think… he clearly felt housework was beneath him.

I wouldn’t forward his mail either!! I’d write a quick ‘no longer known at this address, return to sender’ across it and pop it back in the post….. otherwise he could run up debt at your address!! Or use your address to get out loans etc.

I guess the clue is in the fact it’s a SINGLE room being rented to a single occupant.
a house shared with the owner does usually mean that rules have to be obeyed. I wouldn’t allow smoking/vaping/guests or pets … a single room simply isn’t big enough for a guest especially a child to stay in and I’m surprised the mother even allowed it if I’m honest

Phew that is a relief! I was thinking about you earlier and wondering if you would update us.

I have a lodger who brought an electric heater because she gets cold. I agreed she could use it but only when I’m not around as I’m away for work often. But she puts it on when we she gets cold even when I’m around and I’ve heated the house! I’m really trying to save and the rent she is charged is £100 less than it should be but I want to be fair and in line with market rent in the area. I only put the heating on in the evening. I live in a Victorian flat and it’s quite warm and I wear warm clothes, she doesn’t. She has the warmest room in the flat, I know because it used to be mine.

Anyway I asked if she was still using her electric heater and she got really defensive! I only asked because I could see a spike in the gas smart meter when I was away and was going to say she can use either the electric or the gas but not both - she kicked up a huge fuss and said she felt uncomfortable that I was checking on her! Complete projection! Anyway she said if I didn’t agree to her using it within the price, she would leave so I said fine and she is leaving which is a shame but rather not be living with someone (she is 50!!!) that is in denial! Honestly I think it’s really unfair that landlords get vilified even when we’re reasonable. Just makes me think that renters have no regard for where they live because they’re renting.

Do others find this too? Is rent you charge lower than it has to be?

feeling like quite a crappy person tbh :(

thanks all!

Your point about charging less rent than you should, because you wanted to be fair and in line with market rates makes no sense, if the amount is the market rate and fair, then it's not less than it should be, is it? And if everyone else is charging more, then charge in line with the usual rates and stop feeling resentful because you're lodger is using additional heat.

Also, are you saying that when you are away you turn the heating down or off and so you have agreed to your lodger using the electric heater then? She's entitled to heat all the time, not just when you are in residence!

@unfortunateevents probably worth checking properly what you’re writing! Asking questions doesn’t make me resentful- makes no sense!

I’m charging market rate BUT bills have increased significantly but I haven’t increased the rent I charge and it seems no other renters have - I’ve made this quite clear and this is what my question is based on.

Shes entitled to use either the heating OR the electric heater when I’m away not both - I leave it up to her BUT she is using both and I stand by this.

hoping I can get a more coherent response from other users who read my post properly!

I think you should really start your own thread if you want "better" answers.

@unfortunateevents - It sounds like a hood thing that she's gone. Rents for lodgers have definitely gone up and you should charge accordingly. I now have a clause that says no electric heaters or other high energy devices. Or you charge extra for this but be clear up front. Make sure you discuss all the possible issues before offering the room. One of my other rules (I actually don't have many) is that we don't take phone calls in the shared areas of the house, and to be aware that the walls are not sound proof. I had to interrupt a call from the male lodger I mentioned as he was loudly telling some woman he wanted to 'glaze her like a doughnut'. 🤢

@Mumskisail ‘glazer’ sounds awful, and you did a really sensible thing. thanks for the advice, that’s really helpful. I will put a clause in the agreement, I was thinking about it but felt it might be too particular but it’s not! I’ve been getting viewings for the room and have said this upfront, will work out the charge for an electric heater and mention this too.

@Glittertwins I didn’t ask for ‘better’ answers but for people to read my questions‘properly’ - thanks ! :)

What are your rules on lodgers bringing back guests?

I had a male lodger bring back a Tinder date, they were both tipsy/drunk and she was taking the piss. So I reminded him in front of her that he wasn’t allowed guests and they both went somewhere else. Felt uncomfortable all round I’m sure.

Another lodger spent so much time in her room it was a relief when after a few months she did have the occasional social visitor. I was almost about to suggest it myself - please stop living like a hermit or prisoner!!!

So I’ve found it really depends on the individual. But a blanket ‘no guests’ rule at the viewing (or worse, on the advert), will deter many people including all the ones who’d only ever have been reasonable about it.