Lodger cranks up heating to 25

[Mumskisail]

My partner left a few years ago and I had time off work for burnout and now in a less stressful (lower paid) role so on a tight income. I rent 2 rooms to help cover my mortgage and bills (about 40%).

The house is heated to 18-21 degrees depending on the room / personal preference, using Nest thermostats (called TRVs) on each radiator. It is lowered at 11pm until 5.30am, meaning it's warm for about an hour after going to bed and it heats up for a few hours before the lodgers get up.

One lodger is very happy with this and prefers a cooler room so sometimes turns it down.

But the other constantly overrides this and heats his room to 25. When I've tried to speak to him about it he answers his door in a tshirt and is only wearing normal socks. The rest of us have warm clothes, slippers and big fleece hoodies on winter evenings, and use fleece blankets to stay cosy on the sofa.

We seem to be in a battle of wills. He goes along with my suggested times and temperatures in discussion but has done everything including claiming his radiator and the TRV don't work, disconnecting the TRV but trying to make it look as though it's connected, saying it won't connect and pulling the little pin out with a pair of pliers to force the heating on. He leaves it on all night. The thermostat when it's reading says 25-26.

The other issue in this old Victorian house is that the heating pumping out all night causes banging in the pipes and keeps myself and the other lodger awake, or wakes us up in the night. So we prefer lots of layers and a quiet night unless we're in a cold patch.

I've offered him extra duvets and blankets (his looks thin) and a hot water bottle but he refuses. I've asked him to discuss the times he wants the heating on and to talk about the heating.

He says the temperature reading is wrong so I gave him a wireless thermostat which showed the same temperature as the TRV and showed it was correct.

I've explained about the increasing cost of gas and showed him my bills. I've showed him the temperatures in the rest of the house and that we are comfortable.

This is the second winter we are having these issues. Last year his sister died so I just kept my mouth shut and left him to it but I felt really unhappy.

Do I just suck it up, winter will be over soon and I'm not making a loss. Or do I tell him it's not acceptable and ask him to leave? Or is it better the devil you know, this is the only issue.

A friend suggested a locking cover to go over the TRV, I'm so irritated it's tempting but is that really ethical? And anyway would he then just get an electric heater? I don't go into his room and I would never snoop.

He's a 44 year old man having to rent a room and it must be his sanctuary and private space.

Do I just let him win the battle and chill out?

He really shouldn't be tampering with your equipment- ie removing the pin. I'm not sure exactly what is involved in this as we have somewhat older style central heating - and it's oil but this does not sound right to me!

@Flapjackquack As I said before, 25 degrees is too high and 18 degrees is too low.

Strawberriesandmelons · Today 12:01
I wouldn't be impressed being told to wear extra clothing when I'm paying for a rented room where heating is included in the cost. It's absolutely miserable way to live.“

what’s miserable about wearing a jumper in winter 🤯

it’s clear that some people on this thread aren’t responsible for paying heating bills.

Paying rent isn’t a golden ticket when the landlord’s outgoings have increased significantly.

Anyone expecting 25 degrees in winter needs to find solo accommodation and pay the bills themselves or get real and buy a dressing gown and slippers, as most people do.

Haha! No I didn’t even think of that.

I’m Scottish so saying “He is at it” means he is taking the piss.

Just heating his one room to a higher temperature will not be costing that much. Unless he has a massive room.

I’d ask him to leave. I’ve had lots of lodgers and students staying with me over the years and I think I underestimated how stressful it is having someone in your home who is disrespectful. It’s not fair on the other lodger either if they’re being kept awake.

I used to be a massage therapist and the temperature I aimed for was 22 which most people were happy with. 25 isn’t a healthy temperature even during the day.

20 I’d say YABU but 25!!! He must be sweating!

Having been a lodger for years myself the thing that sticks out for me is that you know an awful lot about the personal habits of your lodger. Lies on his bed in a t shirt eating sausage rolls? WTF. You should never have witnessed that to have an opinion on it.

He’s 44 years of age and you’re his landlady, not his mum, you need to stay out of his business. Comstantly talking to him about considering your budget, forcing him to look at the finer points of your bills, and telling him you expect him to wear fleeces, hoods and slippers and sit under blankets if he’s cold is unreasonable. Your are a homeowner with several income streams and he is a middle aged man renting your room, you can’t expect him to have any sympathy for you and your budget at all.

To be honest your house does sound proper cold (and your pipes are banging because you have air in the system, not because the heating is on when it ‘shouldn’t’ be, this will also be preventing the radiators from heating up properly and wasting money).

Trying to control his need to have a very warm room in any way won’t work - If you tamper proof the heating he will buy electric heaters and hide them. So simply tell him you’re putting the rent up or give him notice. You don’t have to have a pointless discussion about why.

Lodgers aren’t for everyone. I think you should consider making/saving money some other way. You say you have multiple lodgers so downsizing springs to mind. If your answer to that is you want the lodgers for company or you’re too attached to your big house that you can’t afford, you need to have a word with yourself.

You don't think he should wear warm clothes in the UK in January? Why not?

? It will be costing something, though, and his rent isn't covering it.

This is the second winter we are having these issues.

Its not going to change, so best they move onto somewhere else that is right for him. Its going to make them unhappy and you unhappy understandably.

Just tell him this isn't working as your keeping us up and if the heating is off you'll be cold so best you look for somewhere else to live and move out by the 31st January at the latest

Given that the prices were going up this year I don't see why you didn't raise your price prior to winter when you knew this would be a problem given that he did it last year. It's totally irresponsible.

Nobody should be having to snuggle under a blanket to keep warm in their home, nor should they be expected to dress up in lots of layers either.

Agreed.

Kick him out, no point living with a nasty arsehole of a man.

@BradfordGirl do you pay your own utility bills?

If so, if you were at home and felt cold in just a t-shirt, would you put a jumper on or would you turn up the heating?

We have a thermometer in the kitchen which shows the room temperature. The heating doesn't go on during the day unless the thermometer shows it's dropped to under 18. We manage perfectly well by layering up in warm clothes. The heating would only go on overnight if it was Arctic outside. All perfectly healthy here.

I had an ex that used to come to mine over the weekend and sit around in a T-shirt and shorts turning the heating on full blast, if I hadn't binned him off last year Id certainly have binned him off for such behavior in the current crisis.
So yeah tell him he needs to find another logging who feel the cold as much as he does. OR increase the bills, tampering with your equipment is not acceptable.

@Calphurnia88 Of course I pay my own bills and put a jumper on. But if you can afford it, 18 degrees is too low. And I am cold at that temperature with a jumper on.

OP says she is still making money. So his rent is covering it. Up to her if she wants to make more money though.

18 degrees C low? Don't talk such nonsense!

Surely the only way to resolve this is to have the electricity supply to the lodgers rooms metered separately, but I'm thinking that would take you into HMO territory?

Give him notice.
If it was just a difference of preferred temperature, there might be a place for continued discussion and a rent increase.
He’s allowed to say he wants it on (and you’re allowed to say no).

But it’s more than that - he’s absolutely taking the piss with sabotaging the equipment! He’d have had his notice that day from me.

Given that behaviour, if you did increase his rent I would expect him to do things like crank it up all night every night with a window open - anything to get back at you.

I'm slightly confused by your OP. A Nest Thermostat is an electronic thermostat which turns the bolier on/off based on the air temperature in the location in which it is sited. A TRV is a mechanical radiator thermostat which opens and closes based on the air temperature around the valve. A TRV is a mechanical device usually filled with wax and cannot turn the boiler on and off. So even if he turns the TRV up to 5/6 depending on the model then if the boiler is off the radiator wont get warm.
All that aside and assuming you have a Nest thermostat located somewhere. The solution is really simple, log into your nest app click on settings and put a pin lock on the thermostat so it cant be adjusted by anyone else.

I'd be kicking him out.

Exactly. Some weird and daft posts on this thread. Imagine wrapping up in more layers when it's WINTER? Who DOES that? Oh the horror! 😫