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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I right to report this man?

202 replies

Aceofbase00 · 04/01/2023 15:12

It's a community based role, and I was helping a male in his early 70s to get dressed. I know he has full mental capacity and doesn't have Alzheimer's/dementia.
Once when I went to his house there was porn playing on a computer in the background.
Anyway I went yesterday and I saw him fixated on my chest whilst I was getting him ready. It was annoying but I just tried to get him ready as quick as I could.
He was still looking. Then he said, "wow, nice top."
I looked down and saw my button had popped open, revealing my bra. I quickly fastened it and he said, "Oh you don't need to do that, I don't get a lot of excitement at the minute." He kept staring at me.
I felt so embarrassed and wish I had said something to him at the time. I just left pretty much after that as soon as possible, and reported it to my manager who said they'd have a word.
I understand he is lonely, but it wasn't appropriate at all for him to comment like that. What would you have done?

OP posts:
Daisymaker · 08/01/2023 15:21

You did the right thing and there needs to be a discussion with him about what is appropriate when carers are visiting, I've had to have similar conversations with service users

It doesn't sound at all like dementia to me

picklemewalnuts · 09/01/2023 13:26

For goodness sake. Reporting it is effectively 'raising a concern'. It's not either or. If a dementia assessment is needed, it will happen- as it should- because OP has reported that his behaviour was inappropriate.

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