Help end medical misogyny. Sign our petition.

Help end medical misogyny.
Sign our petition.

Sign the petition

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I right to report this man?

202 replies

Aceofbase00 · 04/01/2023 15:12

It's a community based role, and I was helping a male in his early 70s to get dressed. I know he has full mental capacity and doesn't have Alzheimer's/dementia.
Once when I went to his house there was porn playing on a computer in the background.
Anyway I went yesterday and I saw him fixated on my chest whilst I was getting him ready. It was annoying but I just tried to get him ready as quick as I could.
He was still looking. Then he said, "wow, nice top."
I looked down and saw my button had popped open, revealing my bra. I quickly fastened it and he said, "Oh you don't need to do that, I don't get a lot of excitement at the minute." He kept staring at me.
I felt so embarrassed and wish I had said something to him at the time. I just left pretty much after that as soon as possible, and reported it to my manager who said they'd have a word.
I understand he is lonely, but it wasn't appropriate at all for him to comment like that. What would you have done?

OP posts:
Daisymaker · 08/01/2023 15:21

You did the right thing and there needs to be a discussion with him about what is appropriate when carers are visiting, I've had to have similar conversations with service users

It doesn't sound at all like dementia to me

picklemewalnuts · 09/01/2023 13:26

For goodness sake. Reporting it is effectively 'raising a concern'. It's not either or. If a dementia assessment is needed, it will happen- as it should- because OP has reported that his behaviour was inappropriate.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page