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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To regret taking on dog and potentially rehome?

354 replies

amberstonelove · 04/01/2023 10:26

I’ve wanted a dog since my eldest took a huge interest and love for dogs.

I thought it would be lovely for the children. It has been.

I knew I wanted a dog that wasn’t a puppy. I took on a 2 year old dog asked lots and lots of questions etc before taking her on. One of the biggest things for me was bypassing the puppy stage and not having to toilet train etc. The toilet training was a big thing for me. I didn’t want to do it.

The children adore her. My daughter cried when we bought her home. She’s a very sweet loving girl and follows us everywhere.

But I feel the previous owners covered up a lot of things. They didn’t tell us she was in season when we drove miles to get her, they forgot to tell us that she only eats a certain brand of subscription food otherwise she vomits like crazy. The promised and promised she was toilet trained…..

SHE IS NOT.

It’s driving me to despair. I have health anxiety and OCD and this dog I love her and so do the kids but it’s making me ill. My anxiety levels are sky high and i’m vomiting as a result and am in tears every day.
I feel like i’ve ruined our family dynamics even though the kids adore her.
A but I feel like i’m stuck with her now because I can’t bear the thought of breaking my children’s heart they are 3&8.

She is just weeing and pooing everywhere and does not understand going outside for toilets at all. She just stands there. I’ve tried everything.

AIBU to want to rehome her?

I feel so low about all of this. I deeply regret getting her.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
16
Labracadabra · 04/01/2023 10:28

Is she a dachshund?

Joopy · 04/01/2023 10:29

Have you had any professional help?

Roundabout78 · 04/01/2023 10:31

Speak to a professional trainer. I do feel for you because previous owner has deffo pulled a fast one, but this is why I would only get a dog from an official rescue who will be upfront about any issues you may face.

Newusernameaug · 04/01/2023 10:31

I feel for you….. I do think some dogs just don’t get it. One of mine is 3 and still hit or miss with it, despite me house training her like every other dog I’ve had!

Id suggest crate training, it really helps.

Skiphopbump · 04/01/2023 10:31

How long have you had her?

How are you toilet training? I used to take mine outside every thirty mins and was gradually able to increase the lengths between visits. As she already two it may take more time.

Eastereggsboxedupready · 04/01/2023 10:32

Just go back to basic puppy training methods. Meal - straight outside.. Woke up - outside. When she is weeing say have a wee.. All 4 of mine wee to order! It's hilarious! That bit older she will be able to hold it better. Training op.

AgathaX · 04/01/2023 10:33

What have you tried so far? How long have you had her? Would you get a one to one trainer in for advice and a training plan?

thereisonlyoneofme · 04/01/2023 10:37

I took on a rescue that had been a breeding bitch at a puppy farm.SHe had no idea about toilet training, I used to come down to piles of poo every morning.She was 7 when I got her. It took a lot of patience and getting her to go outside several times a day, but it worked She never messes indoors now. You have to put the hours in . The food business, is it because she is intolerent of any other food medically, or just that they decided thats what they would feed her

thereisonlyoneofme · 04/01/2023 10:45

Posted too early You will find it extremely difficult t o rehome , the rescues are full to bursting . .and a private rehome is unlikely with her issues

Original poster
amberstonelove · 04/01/2023 10:46

Labracadabra · 04/01/2023 10:28

Is she a dachshund?

She’s a french bulldog :)

OP posts:
Katapolts · 04/01/2023 10:46

Who did you buy her from? A random off facebook?

Sounds like you need to get a trainer and spend some time working on the toilet training.

CalistoNoSolo · 04/01/2023 10:47

I have limited sympathy for you as it sounds like you got her from preloved or similar and not a reputable rescue. I feel very sorry for your poor dog who is desperate to do the right thing but keeps getting it wrong because you're not being clear about what is expected of her. Get a decent trainer/behaviourist, get her to the vets to find out what she is intolerant/allergic to, and get her spayed.

Katapolts · 04/01/2023 10:47

I don't think you can get rid, a pet is a commitment.
Not fair to sell her on.
Unreasonable to offload onto a rescue because you don't want to deal with dog poo.

CaraVann · 04/01/2023 10:48

We rescued a 2 year old dog, 4 months ago.
He still toilets in the house, although he is getting better.
Consistency is the key, say nothing when she goes in the house and just clear it up using a cleaner with an enzyme to take the smell away so she doesn’t keep going to the same place (I use the Dr Beckman one).
When she toilets outside, really praise her up and give her a small training treat, she will soon understand good things come from going outside.
We also put child gates around the house so he is only in the kitchen and utility room when we are not here as I was finding puddles everywhere!
Please don’t rehome her just because of this. She will get there in time.

HarvestThyme · 04/01/2023 10:48

Very honestly, if having a dog wee or poo in your home is making you ill - rehome her. You do come first.

ANY dog will have accidents. Especially as they grow older. Dogs eat things they shouldn't and then vomit.

I accept this dog is a particular issue, but if even occasional accidents will upset you, a dog is maybe not a great fit?

It is a shame for your dc and for ddog - but having a healthy parent is way more important.

CalistoNoSolo · 04/01/2023 10:48

And I doubt you've tried everything to house train her.

CaraVann · 04/01/2023 10:48

How long have you had her?

MintyGreenDreams · 04/01/2023 10:49

How long have you had her?

Chickenly · 04/01/2023 10:49

Oh bless you. Speak to a behaviourist - this is all just textbook and they’ll be able to sort it no problem. It won’t even take long but professionals get paid for a reason. This isn’t something to do yourself because you don’t know how but behaviourists will have this sorted almost instantly.

Beees · 04/01/2023 10:50

When you say you've tried everything what have you actually tried? Have you got in professionals, took her to the vets to rule out anything medical?

JanusTheFirst · 04/01/2023 10:50

You are so unhappy that I think rehoming is the only answer.

I don't have OCD but I couldn't cope with the pee and shit.

Menomenon · 04/01/2023 10:50

How long since she arrived?!

Hoppinggreen · 04/01/2023 10:51

HarvestThyme · 04/01/2023 10:48

Very honestly, if having a dog wee or poo in your home is making you ill - rehome her. You do come first.

ANY dog will have accidents. Especially as they grow older. Dogs eat things they shouldn't and then vomit.

I accept this dog is a particular issue, but if even occasional accidents will upset you, a dog is maybe not a great fit?

It is a shame for your dc and for ddog - but having a healthy parent is way more important.

I spent most of Xmas day clearing up dog vomit.
If you can’t cope with things like that then you can’t have a dog. Ours is well trained but if he’s ill he will puke and as he gets older he may have an occasional accident. Dealing with it is part of being a dog owner so if you can’t then you can’t have a dog

Original poster
amberstonelove · 04/01/2023 10:52

Thank you.

Ill try and answer the questions.

We've had her a few weeks. We’ve gone back to basics like a puppy and lots of praise. Taking her outside every 30 mins to do her business etc but I feel like she’s not getting it at all. There has been no improvement. This is why I wanted an older dog, so I could bypass this. Being blunt if I knew she was like this then I wouldn’t have got her as this was a big thing for us.

Its gotten to the point where i’m so conflicted that i’m considering going back ok my medication because I can’t cope with her and I can’t cope with the thought of my children being heartbroken she is gone.

OP posts:
Claudia84 · 04/01/2023 10:53

If you want to re home then do this but don't sell on- actually engage a proper charity/ rehoming centre who can assess her and find the right home.
Anyone who is selling an adult dog is not going to be honest.