To regret taking on dog and potentially rehome?

[amberstonelove]

I’ve wanted a dog since my eldest took a huge interest and love for dogs.

I thought it would be lovely for the children. It has been.

I knew I wanted a dog that wasn’t a puppy. I took on a 2 year old dog asked lots and lots of questions etc before taking her on. One of the biggest things for me was bypassing the puppy stage and not having to toilet train etc. The toilet training was a big thing for me. I didn’t want to do it.

The children adore her. My daughter cried when we bought her home. She’s a very sweet loving girl and follows us everywhere.

But I feel the previous owners covered up a lot of things. They didn’t tell us she was in season when we drove miles to get her, they forgot to tell us that she only eats a certain brand of subscription food otherwise she vomits like crazy. The promised and promised she was toilet trained…..

SHE IS NOT.

It’s driving me to despair. I have health anxiety and OCD and this dog I love her and so do the kids but it’s making me ill. My anxiety levels are sky high and i’m vomiting as a result and am in tears every day.
I feel like i’ve ruined our family dynamics even though the kids adore her.
A but I feel like i’m stuck with her now because I can’t bear the thought of breaking my children’s heart they are 3&8.

She is just weeing and pooing everywhere and does not understand going outside for toilets at all. She just stands there. I’ve tried everything.

AIBU to want to rehome her?

I feel so low about all of this. I deeply regret getting her.

@amberstonelove - YOU feel shafted?!!!! What about the poor dog fgs

In your position I would do the following:

1. Take out pet insurance and wait until the end of the exclusion period.
2. Take the dog to the vet for a health check to rule out any medical problems regarding the toilet training. Also speak to the vet about getting her spayed.
3. Book an appointment with a behaviourist so they can advise on the toilet training.

Regarding the food, some dogs will end up with an upset stomach from a change in diet, we have two dogs one will eat any brand of food without problems, but the other has experienced an upset stomach from a change in food. You need to introduce the new food gradually starting by mixing a small amount of the new food with the old food and then assuming she is not vomiting increase the amount of the new food gradually. If this doesn't work speak to the vet who will be able to advise.

What reason did the previous owners give for re-homing the dog, if you have managed a find a dog online that is good with the children and doesn't show any signs of aggression or destructive behaviour I actually think you have been really lucky.

And this is the problem with poorly bred designer dogs tbh. You need to have deep pockets if you take on something like a French bulldog.

You feel shafted?! No thought to this poor dog, being passed around, with no one giving a fuck about them, just annoyance.

People like you shouldn't get pets, because they are a commitment, and you clearly aren't prepared to commit if this is you after a few weeks.

Yes rehome them. They deserve better.

If you decide to push through and master the toilet training... my suggestions are:

1. continue to take her outside every 30 minutes... do not give up on that..and keep a record of what she does - this will likely guide you to peak toilet times for her
2. every time she does something outside reward her with a treat, if she does something inside - no reward and take her straight outside - no comment, no response to the accident
3. come up with a cue word for toilet behaviour and while they are toileting outside continually chant the word - yes, you will sound ridiculous but it means that once you've trained her to only go outside it means you can get her to go on cue.... can be helpful if you're going out, in the car etc etc...

Good luck and if you do decide to do rehome, please do listen to pp and don't sell her or give her away, please approach a charity/rehoming centre.

So she's two years old, which would mean she's probably a lockdown puppy born around the end of 2020, meaning she was quite likely bred for no other reason than to satisfy demand for puppies during COVID and I would guess the breeding standards were less than rigorous. I'd bet a fair amount of money her previous owners had no experience with dogs and therefore she is untrained and poorly socialised and they've now had enough of her.

She is a notoriously unhealthy and mutated breed of dog. You're already experiencing the consequences of this through her very restricted diet. Her health will not improve.

That dog should never have been born in the first place and has had a very unfortunate start in life. Re-home the poor thing using a specialist rescue group. Your children will cope.

These posts always leave me feeling conflicted:

The dog owner in me says that it is fine for you to rehome her - although do it through a breed specific rescue rather than advertising on Gumtree or anything like that. A dog deserves a home where he/she is loved unconditionally and a brief period of upset is better than living in a home where he/she will be resented. We have two rehomed dogs that were in homes that weren't meeting their needs and the owners wanted the best for them. I definitely don't judge anyone who wants the best for their animals.

But the mum in me says don't do it! Don't break your children's hearts! It doesn't sound like you dislike the dog but I understand that you are stressed by the toilet training. Have you heard of umbilical training? It looks like a really positive way of training that is almost foolproof.

So you took on a dog from some random, a breed with known health issues and difficult to toilet train and you say you have OCD and anxiety? What on earth were you thinking? Why did they want to get rid of the dog? Please re home the dog via a charity and don’t get another one. You’re upset and the children are upset, well boo hoo, you don’t seem that bothered about the poor dog.

It sounds really tough for you and the dog.

I'd advise joining Dog training advice and support group on Facebook, they have loads of guides about helping a rescue dog to settle in and also about toilet training. I'd also advise asking FLOOF - For the love of our Frenchies for advice too as French Bulldog experts. They are a rescue but they are amazing at trying to support all French Bulldog owners as well.

When you take her out to go to the loo do you just let her into the garden? If so you need to put her on a lead and take her out. No fun, no sniffing around, it is solely to go to the loo. Use a command word ours was do wees! and say that the second she starts to go. And then praise her! Go back indoors, and repeat as often as you need to until she is going outside and not toileting indoors.

With the food, did you gradually introduce the new food or did you do a straight swap? New food (generally) should be added to their diet over a period of time, until by the last day it's the new food completely. If you swapped it over without phasing it in, then yes very likely to have upset their stomach.

As PP have said, start by taking the dog out every 30 mins and give lots of praise when she toilets outside.

How to change your dog's food

I doubt this would help to be honest. French bulldogs have an extraordinary propensity for allergies thanks to their high levels of over-breeding and consequently their digestive systems are usually very sensitive.

Being blunt if I knew she was like this then I wouldn’t have got her as this was a big thing for us.

You do know that when she has a poo when you take her out for a walk, you need to pick it up?

It doesn't sound as if you have the slightest grasp of what owning and looking after and caring for a dog entails.

I would suggest finding a charity to regime the dog as soon as possible (NOT RSPCA, they would probably just PTS).

'Rehome'

There’s no way you could have tried everything when you’ve only had her for a few weeks!
Take a deep breath. You wanted a dog. Your kids love her. She needs proper training, but it won’t be like this forever. Ask yourself, if she were toilet trained would you still not want her? If the answer is yes, then the kindest thing to do is to rehome her responsibly. If the answer is no, then just try to think that this is a short term problem that you will get through with some patience and work.

You're taking her out every 30 mins for toileting and you're very stressed around her. The poor dog will be highly sensitive to all this and is probably stressed out of her little mind. Please seek a professional for the sake of the dog and for your benefit too. Dogs are not little robots and the change in environment plus loosing the only owners and home she's ever know will have a massive impact on her.

Contact frenchbulldogsaviours.com

Tell them what you've told us and they will get her fostered and assessed. Do not get another dog.

Our rescue took months to toilet train, I was up hourly with her through the night. We didn’t know this would be the case but that wasn’t her fault.

As others have said people giving up dogs often lie, and Frenchies have so so many health issues.

Sounds like you need some assistance for a trainer tbh. It’s really early days so give up

I’ve just rehomed my second dog. My first we’ve had for 5 years. It was months before she settled into our house, not surprisingly because it’s a traumatic experience for dogs. Everything is new to them, and my first dog did pee and poo for the first while. I was really on it, every half hour or when she started to sniff around she was out outside. She got it pretty quickly and now rarely has an accident, only when she’s unwell. My second dog is 6 months old, same thing, constant putting her outside and the times she’s had an accident is when I’ve taken my eye off the ball. Dogs are hard work and need your help to learn the behaviours we want them to have. It’s so soon for your poor dog and your expectations are a bit high. I feel so sorry for your dog.

Ah 🙁 I knew they could have issues with their backs and breathing, I didn't realise their digestive systems were fucked too. Poor things 😔

Don't buy dogs off random people on the internet. This is a mess of your making so deal with the consequences!

Whatever you do don't palm te poor animal off on someone else unsuspecting.

Poor bloody dog. You've bought a designer breed with significant likelihood of health issues, from feckless idiots who didn't bother to have her spayed or train her properly, and now she's had the upheaval of a move and she's going to be "re-homed" again because you've not done your research and aren't prepared to sort it out. The OP's posts are all about how awful this is for her - no bloody concern for the animal who never had a choice 🙄

OP if you can’t cope with poo/wee then having a dog at all is not a good idea. Even well trained dogs get ill sometimes, and old. You must have dealt with nappies when your children were small, what got you through that stage, and can you use that to cope now ?
Also, it has only been weeks. If this dog has been kept kennelled then it will take time for her to learn new behaviours, as it will be very entrenched in her to poo in her kennel. You will need to be patient and put time and energy into training. It will take months and might always be a bit hit and miss, although I have known rescued dogs from kennels become well house trained.
If your anxiety about this is getting extreme then re homing the dog through a reliable breed rescue seems best, as she will be picking up on your stress and it will make training harder.

I also agree with this.