To regret taking on dog and potentially rehome?

[amberstonelove]

I’ve wanted a dog since my eldest took a huge interest and love for dogs.

I thought it would be lovely for the children. It has been.

I knew I wanted a dog that wasn’t a puppy. I took on a 2 year old dog asked lots and lots of questions etc before taking her on. One of the biggest things for me was bypassing the puppy stage and not having to toilet train etc. The toilet training was a big thing for me. I didn’t want to do it.

The children adore her. My daughter cried when we bought her home. She’s a very sweet loving girl and follows us everywhere.

But I feel the previous owners covered up a lot of things. They didn’t tell us she was in season when we drove miles to get her, they forgot to tell us that she only eats a certain brand of subscription food otherwise she vomits like crazy. The promised and promised she was toilet trained…..

SHE IS NOT.

It’s driving me to despair. I have health anxiety and OCD and this dog I love her and so do the kids but it’s making me ill. My anxiety levels are sky high and i’m vomiting as a result and am in tears every day.
I feel like i’ve ruined our family dynamics even though the kids adore her.
A but I feel like i’m stuck with her now because I can’t bear the thought of breaking my children’s heart they are 3&8.

She is just weeing and pooing everywhere and does not understand going outside for toilets at all. She just stands there. I’ve tried everything.

AIBU to want to rehome her?

I feel so low about all of this. I deeply regret getting her.

I second this. All dogs are at risk - any type will be stolen as "bait" dogs for illegal fights.

Expensive breeds like French Bulldogs are real targets, though, and are often specifically targeted. Plus, as other people have pointed out, a Frenchie isn't built to live outside - they are hothouse flowers.

😂 💯

I believe many decades ago they were stockier and rounder. There are some like that around. I suspect those lines were diluted by another breed (perhaps a Burmese). If you look at the images of the original cats of Siam (now Thailand), they are slender, but muscular, with angular heads. Despite being thin cats, Siamese are very muscular, solid, quite heavy cats. 🙂

Have to admit I prefer the newer "oriental" angular heads and the more slender physique.

As for strength - I've got two moggies and for their size cats are incredibly strong! I've often said if our cats were the size of our springer they'd have eaten us long ago 😅

@Emotionalsupportviper 😂🤣

@Emotionalsupportviper , told you! I was smitten with Bodger, and still am.

You cannot expect her to know what to do. It is like having a child, it takes time and commitment. If you have not had her long, it will just take time for her to settle in. You need to take her out often and praise her when she does things right. As for the dog food, that is not a big deal, all decent dogs foods are around the same price. When you take on a dog, you don't rehome it because you don't want to do something

We bought a 7 month old Frenchie who was “house trained & walked lovely on the lead” in reality she was trained to go in the house & was like taking a dancing bear out for a walk. I found out that some Frenchies are notoriously hard to house train & I thought it would never end but she’s 4&1/2 now and 99% of the time clean in the house. Would puppy pads help? Also we got a small dog flap on the back door so she goes in and out as she pleases. I know how hard it is but if you persevere it will be well worth it.

Ah. I was envisaging a secure back garden.

We had a collie, a sheepdog and a daschund. The collie would go into the woodshed when it was very cold (-40c) but the sheepdog would sleep in the snow in front of the door whatever the weather. The daschund and the cat would sleep together curled up inside an old barrel that had blankets inside and over the entrance.
When allowed inside they would start panting within minutes... even in an unheated room.

@BootifulLoser In the UK that would be/is considered cruel

Crazy! Dogs are so much more alive when they live outside in nature... listening and smelling are the things they like to do best. Visiting the other animals on the property. Barking at the moon. Dogs that live indoors mainly sleep all the time when they aren't being walked... in my experience.

Most pet dogs living outside in the UK are not having their needs met at all - one of their top needs is human company, not that of other animals (with the exception of other dogs, which the OP does not have in any case).

Visiting other animals? Most people haven't got other outdoor animals for them to visit, and those there might be would not appreciate a visit from a dog anyway.

Barking at the moon... not actually a normal dog behaviour, it is common for lonely dogs to call out for a reply of course, or for distressed dogs to repeatitively bark but whether normal or not, would get you repeat complaints about noise nuisances.

Dogs SHOULD sleep a lot anyway, around 14 hours for adults, much more for puppies.

Working dogs that live outside and spend most of their waking hours with someone, working hard are a different matter. Their needs are met and the time they spend away from people is time spent resting somewhere sheltered and quiet (not ranging around large areas barking at stuff and worrying other animals!).

And as PP mentioned, outside dogs are at high risk of theft, dog theft is a serious issue in the UK... and French Bulldogs are totally unequipped to live outdoors.

You seem to have some sort of fairytale notion of dogs living outdoors amusing themselves and having a fine old time and occasionally getting a fuss from a person - this is not reality, not at all.

Crazy! Dogs are so much more alive when they live outside in nature... listening and smelling are the things they like to do best.

They don't have to live outside 24/7 to do that.

Visiting the other animals on the property.

What other animals?

Barking at the moon.

Dogs that bark and howl at night are a noise nuisance. A happy dog doesn't sit in the garden and howl at the moon 🙄

Dogs that live indoors mainly sleep all the time when they aren't being walked... in my experience

Yes - which shows that they're relaxed, content and don't feel the need to constantly be on alert in case of any danger. All excellent things IMO.

I think Bootiful's experience is that of cartoon dogs that joyfully wander about a vast farm property, chatting with horses, cows, pigs, sheep, rabbits and so on, frolicking all day and night and engaging in a charming 101 Dalmatians howl at the moon thing each evening.

The reality for most (not all, certainly not all) outdoor dogs is lack of shelter, lack of enrichment, a miserable existance with no escape from cold/wet/boredom/loneliness/lack of exercise, in a small fenced yard or garden or chained up on a muddy patch.

But lets not let reality get in the way of utterly pointless drivel eh!

I would count about 8 weeks as as few weeks? Wouldn't you?

Have to disagree my neighbour started by fostering a dog for a local pet rehoming charity. She's a pensioner and did not want the worry of vet bills etc. She ended up having to pay the charity ' a donation' the dog needs it's claws clipping regularly and the charity apparently knew this as the dog needs sedation every time it goes near a vet. It goes so mental even the vet says its heart will give out one day because it gets so stressed and the breed is not one that she wanted. Now I tell people to avoid this particular charity because they guilt trip people in to homing a dog or else it will be pts. She walks miles with this animal on concrete /roads to avoid the vet bills. What a con? I used to be a dog owner and rescued a collie. Beautiful animal and well trained, good with kids and cats. I was fortunate but so many dogs have issues these days that I will never own a dog again.

Hugs op

Barking at the moon isn’t appreciated by the neighbours in suburbia!

A few is “more than one, but not many” so two or three = dictionary definition. 8 weeks is two months!

There's a small private charity near us whose manager was an adept at getting people to take animals she wanted rid of - sometimes for genuine reasons (eg they were excessively stressed and anxious in kennels), sometimes because they were costing too much money in vet's bills (the gentleman who had founded the charity had had a "no kill" policy, and this was in his will - she couldn't do anything about it) and sometimes because they were a PITA.

She could sell ice to eskimos and people would go in for a small black cat and come out with a large white dog and would be asking themselves "What the hell happened there?" all the way home. It's a very short-sighted (and unkind - to the animal and the adopter) policy.

Happily she has retired.

I would still regard 8 weeks as a few weeks, myself

Ha ha... or by my Dad when I was a kid. We got used to it though. No near neighbors (human), fortunately.

Well a vast farm property is where I grew up! So yes, horses and the rest. The dogs also liked to prowl in the bush, chase rabbits (they only ever caught one once), and, very usefully, bark at trespassers (i.e., wild animals) which meant that we didn't have to worry about bears breaking into our trash cans or raccoons trying to get into the house and decimate the kitchen.

They had their own warm dog house, or the aforementioned shed to sleep in, or they could go in the barn snuggle up with the horses in their stalls (they never did this).

When invited inside the house in winter they were invariably too warm, panting and uncomfortable.

Animals do have the capacity to grow extra fur when needed, you know! Or was it cruel to keep the horses outside also?

Horses are different.

Their digestive systems act as an internal combustion engine - they keep themselves warm as they process their food.

And yes - some breeds of dogs develop thicker coats outdoors than in - usually double-coated breeds - but short-haired, smooth-coated breeds like Frenchies can't produce enough extra, if any, to protect them effectively.