Page 9 | Who's wrong? Parent or Dog owner?

crashbangg · 2023-01-03T09:39:01+00:00

My DH went to his friends house and took DS. His other friend also visited and bought his dog. The dog kept doing up to my DS who isn't keen on dogs and sometimes quite scared. He wanted to play with the other DC but stayed on the sofa as he was scared of the dog. DH told the dog owner once, then the dog owner was still letting his dog run around and get up on the sofa so my DH apparently got a bit short with him telling him he needs to sort his dog out. Dog owner then got in a mood and left. AIBU to think dog owners should keep their dogs away from people/children's especially those who don't like them???

niugboo · 03/01/2023 23:02

YANBU. Dog owners seem to be obsessed with everyone who hates dogs being unreasonable.

goldismything · 03/01/2023 23:03

I want the dog to post.

User359472111111 · 03/01/2023 23:16

I see this thread has brought out the appalling dog owners and their apologists in force. Good to see also that lots of dog owners are (like our friends who have dogs) responsible people.

To those who are excusing the behaviour- When will you all understand that we don’t want your dogs all over us and a human’s comfort trumps a dog’s wish to jump all over us? Doubly so for a small child.

If the situation were reversed and a dog was cowering in the corner being terrorised by an unruly child, you’d all have a lot to say, I’m sure.

User359472111111 · 03/01/2023 23:19

There also seems to be a strong correlation between the “suck it up, dogs are going to dog” brigade and those who have poor comprehension skills. I have lost count of how many people are insisting this visiting dog was in fact resident.

ZiriForEver · 03/01/2023 23:22

Very simple.
The moment the dog uninvited touches a human being, that moment the dog owner is in the wrong. (Yes, it works the other way round - human being touching a dog without permission is wrong as well)

Being cautious around such dog is the only rational option, because the dog and the dog owner can't be trusted.

Here the dog was jumping and trying to lick a child who clearly didn't wanted it - dog owner is unreasonable in the first place and father closely behind him for not being firmer/leaving the place when the dog owner didn't care.

Kanaloa · 03/01/2023 23:24

User359472111111 · 03/01/2023 23:16

I see this thread has brought out the appalling dog owners and their apologists in force. Good to see also that lots of dog owners are (like our friends who have dogs) responsible people.

To those who are excusing the behaviour- When will you all understand that we don’t want your dogs all over us and a human’s comfort trumps a dog’s wish to jump all over us? Doubly so for a small child.

If the situation were reversed and a dog was cowering in the corner being terrorised by an unruly child, you’d all have a lot to say, I’m sure.

No hun xx dogs need to have it bashed out of them and get over their irrational fear of children. Children just want to be sociable and friendly, and jumping on the dog is natural, it’s how they show excitement. It’s not right for the dog to go through life with a silly fear of children, who really are totally harmless to dogs. A good dog owner would simply use it as an opportunity to teach the dog not to be afraid! Why would you want the dog to go through life in fear when it could just get used to the child chasing it and jumping on it.

Is NOT the answer you’d get! But turned round somehow the child is in fact supposed to just learn to tolerate it so as not to inconvenience unruly dogs and their owners.

piesforever · 03/01/2023 23:25

Difficult but my dd was terrified of dogs to the point where she would run in the road to avoid them! We gradually introduced her to dogs, staying on a farm with 2 dogs and a few years later she pestered and got a dog! We co exist with dogs in society and animals can enrich our lives so it's worth persevering.

Bagsundermyeyestoday · 03/01/2023 23:37

Leela100 · 03/01/2023 22:36

The problem these days is that people take their dogs absolutely everywhere, even over to other peoples dog free houses who do t even want them there, I’m not sure when this trend occurred because as a kid my family always had dogs but we never used to scoop them up and take them to friends houses and parties etc, we went out and they stayed at home, they were not neglected in any way you just didn’t do it back then. For some reason people now think dogs are basically children and you can take them anywhere, it’s very frustrating when you aren’t particularly fond of dogs especially ones who jump up and claw you and skit about

Totally agree. People act like their dogs are their kids, some people with their annoying kids are bad enough! Now we get it with dogs too. BTW, if my DC is being annoying they're removed from the situation

Ronnii · 03/01/2023 23:44

I would be annoyed if myself and dog were invited somewhere where someone didn't like dogs. I always make sure my dog is welcome. I would control my dog, especially around a child. It sounds like the hosting friend didn't plan very well

nalabae · 04/01/2023 00:33

Who’s house is this your partner is demanding rules in?

i would have called my dog away though. Teach your child to not be scared of dogs, life will be easier

nalabae · 04/01/2023 00:48

User359472111111 · 03/01/2023 23:16

I see this thread has brought out the appalling dog owners and their apologists in force. Good to see also that lots of dog owners are (like our friends who have dogs) responsible people.

To those who are excusing the behaviour- When will you all understand that we don’t want your dogs all over us and a human’s comfort trumps a dog’s wish to jump all over us? Doubly so for a small child.

If the situation were reversed and a dog was cowering in the corner being terrorised by an unruly child, you’d all have a lot to say, I’m sure.

You’re a grown adult scared of dogs, absolutely embarrassing.
a child is different, how about you grow up it’s pathetic

RobinaCherry · 04/01/2023 02:10

There also seems to be a strong correlation between the “suck it up, dogs are going to dog” brigade and those who have poor comprehension skills. I have lost count of how many people are insisting this visiting dog was in fact resident

I noticed it too. Funny that.

clairelouwho · 04/01/2023 02:24

Bookworm20 · 03/01/2023 11:21

Dog owner was a dick. If the child was uncomfortable being approached by the dog, they should have made sure they kept their dog away from them.

And you can guarantee, had it been the other way around, if the dog was minding its own business and kept being bothered or prodded by a child, I bet the dog owner wouldn't hesitate for 2 seconds to tell the child to leave the dog alone, and to tell the childs parents to keep their kids off their dog.

Have you considered why dog owners tell parents and children to stop bothering their dogs?

it’s because there’s a risk if a child is irritating or hurting the dog of the dog biting.

so your comparison is ridiculous. I’m not saying that the dog owner shouldn’t have got their dog under control however it’s unclear how much of a bother it was posing.

not enough for DH to take DC and leave. Sounds like dog was being friendly and then just got up on the sofa. If DC was that uncomfortable DH should have left. He didn’t.

girlmom21 · 04/01/2023 04:36

nalabae · 04/01/2023 00:33

Who’s house is this your partner is demanding rules in?

i would have called my dog away though. Teach your child to not be scared of dogs, life will be easier

Oh are you not allowed to stand up for your child in someone else's house?

clairelouwho · 04/01/2023 04:39

girlmom21 · 04/01/2023 04:36

Oh are you not allowed to stand up for your child in someone else's house?

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Yeah you can by taking your child and leaving.

MysteriesOfTheOrganism · 04/01/2023 06:53

It's the responsibility of the dog owner to ensure that their dog is behaving appropriately. Same the other way round: if the dog was settled and the kids were hassling it, it's the parent's responsibility to get them to behave. And if either one can't maintain control then they should leave.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 04/01/2023 07:29

Well, you weren't there so you're just going on second-hand information. And it's in the past so you can't do anything about it anyway.

It's the responsibility of your DH to look after your child.

keepcalm11 · 04/01/2023 08:02

DH told the dog owner once

Another vote for DH should have left with DC if he wasn't comfortable. It's not DH's palce to tell other guests what to do. It's not his house.

Having said that I would have kept my dog by my side in that situation.

girlmom21 · 04/01/2023 08:27

This thread is batshit.
I'm always team dog, every single time, but the dog needs to be well behaved in this situation and it wasn't. The young boy acted perfectly.

Sennelier1 · 04/01/2023 09:37

I've been that child 🙁 my uncle had a gigantic Danish dog and always bragged how that dog would kill anybody trying to hurt him. He let the dog roam free in the house and proclaimed we should let dog sniffle in our faces etc. because dog had the right to do so because it was dog's home after all. When visiting I only saw the seat of my dad's pants as little-me was always hiding behind his back, holding on to his belt.

EerieSilence · 04/01/2023 17:16

girlmom21 · 04/01/2023 08:27

This thread is batshit.
I'm always team dog, every single time, but the dog needs to be well behaved in this situation and it wasn't. The young boy acted perfectly.

I'm 100% with you on it.
If my dog can't behave, she can't be around children. If a parent asks me to remove my dog from the child's vicinity, I will comply without any issues.

roseretrox · 04/01/2023 21:39

I love dogs but I don’t own one. Therefore I feel my perspective is reasonably balanced as I can relate to both sides of this debate. Dogs are lovely but do need to be ke

roseretrox · 04/01/2023 21:40

*kept under control ie not jump up on people trying to lick their faces. Dog owners need to teach dogs a bit of restraint.

ToWhitToWhoo · 04/01/2023 23:45

ToWhitToWhoo · 03/01/2023 19:00

Thereby increasing their fear- except that a sensible parent would probably have already 'sniffed' your attitude and taken the child home.

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Apologies- I thought you were referring to the OP's son. I now realize that you were referring to another poster's nephew possibly trying to 'karate chop' a dog: your response is far more reasonable in that context.