Who's wrong? Parent or Dog owner?

[crashbangg]

My DH went to his friends house and took DS.
His other friend also visited and bought his dog.
The dog kept doing up to my DS who isn't keen on dogs and sometimes quite scared. He wanted to play with the other DC but stayed on the sofa as he was scared of the dog.
DH told the dog owner once, then the dog owner was still letting his dog run around and get up on the sofa so my DH apparently got a bit short with him telling him he needs to sort his dog out. Dog owner then got in a mood and left.

AIBU to think dog owners should keep their dogs away from people/children's especially those who don't like them???

Tbh other than the fact the dog kept going up to your DS, what did it do that was wrong? Going up to and jumping all over/licking/knocking over are very, very different.

It sounds like your DS was just frightened by the dog being there. If he was allowed on and off the sofas by the homeowner then the dog owner didn't do anything wrong.

Again, fair enough if it was more than this but I often think that many of those with a fear of dogs overreact to dogs being dogs.

I had a lady scream at me in a beer garden because my mum's dog looked at her and sniffed as she passed. His arse never left the floor but apparently he was trying to attack.

Dog owner 100%

I wouldn't let my dog bother the child since the child was clearly uncomfortable (although it might be good to work on your child's fear of dogs)

Yes this totally,and I’ve got dogs and children

The dog was friendly and you need to make sure your child overcomes this or it will be a problem most places you go. Your dh should have take. The time to sit with your child and dog to help him be comfortable. Dog was Obviously used to kids so ideal opportunity.

Were you all in a small space? 2 kids and a dog with a few adults in my living room/dining room area wouldn't leave that much room to spread out.

Dog owner. I own three dogs and if one of them was making an invited guest in a house feel uncomfortable I'd stop the behaviour causing the guest stress. Kinda irrelevant whose house it was. And the dog was jumping onto a sofa, which isn't necessary for the dog's comfort. Doggo is perfectly happy on floor (I type this looking at two of mine asleep on sofa, but if there were guests here that needed space from them, they'd be on floor with a reward chew/fuss/toy for being so kind as to surrender their spot). Wasn't like the parent was screaming for dog to leave. Compromise would have been incredibly easy here.

Totally agree. I would never treat a guest this badly in my home, and I have also always made sure my dogs are well trained 🤷‍♀️

Dog owner was wrong. I love dogs but people should always come before dogs in terms of
priority. If a dc is scared regardless of whether the dog was friendly or not the dog should be kept away.

I agree with what plenty of others have said and that's that it's the home owners call really. Sounds like the dog was just being a dog and your boy was a bit overly sensitive. No-ones 'wrong' as such.

Slightly off track but I wouldn't dream of bringing a dog to someone's house, or turning up with a kid in tow unless it was something that had been agreed/expected or a precedence had been set. Some people though do have an open door policy and it's down to 'guests' to take things as they come and either like or lump it.

I think your H has to accept that.Its quite hard to keep a dog away from a child though

Why? Even if you can't make your dog sit and stay when told to, there are such things as leads and doors.

I don't think it is the house owner's call, really. If you invite someone with a dog to your house, as a minimum you should check with anyone else you have invited whether they are OK with it - for instance, you don't know whether they have allergies.

Dog owner was wrong. I love dogs but people should always come before dogs in terms ofpriority. If a dc is scared regardless of whether the dog was friendly or not the dog should be kept away.
As a dog owner I agree that people come first.

However I highly doubt the dog was being that bad because surely any decent and responsible parent would see their scared child and remove them from the situation, not leave their child on a sofa so they can continue seeing their mates.

I can't imagine a situation where I'd prioritise seeing my friends over looking after my scared child.

Dog owner is unreasonable.

The Dog may not have been doing anything wrong but it was causing distress to the child so the dog owner should have kept the dog away from that child or the space child was playing in.

If the child had been spooking the dog by - even accidentally- being too loud or scary to the dog I would expect the parent to deal with childs behaviour.

Dog owner clearly wrong. Why the heck didn’t he control the dog, knowing your ds wasn’t happy with it mithering him? Really unfair.

Your child was at someone else's house and if he doesn't like it there, that's your problem. The dog wasn't being aggressive. Your child's likes and dislikes shoudn't dictate what the host and/or other guests can do in the host's home. Your DH was out of order telling another guest what to do with his dog; that conversation was up to the host to have, not him.

In your situation I'd have been glad to have the opportunity to introduce a friendly dog to my child in a safe environment to help him get over his fear.

Agree with others that dog owner should have kept it in check. I wouldn't allow my child to behave in the way described, why people think dogs should be allowed to is beyond me.

My DD is frightened of dogs as she was knocked over by a large, "friendly" dog in the park as a toddler - dog rushed at her from quite a distance and owner was very dismissive. Responsible dog owners are careful not to allow their dog's behaviour impact others as far as possible. I have cats and do the same if someone who is wary of them comes to visit. Better for people and better for the animal too.

Dog owner should be a bit more sensitive to child's fears. Some kids have a real fear of dogs.
My friends daughter has a phobia and we were out one day and DD freaked out a bit when dog owner's dog went up to her. He thought it was ridiculous and over the top (her DD was 5) and instead of just walking off with dog he pushed the dog on her and said, "look he's fine".
Now I'm a dog lover but not everyone is entitled to love your dog. If a kid is scared, just be sensitive, don't take it personally and be mindful.

Dog never trumps person. Even if home owner is ok with dog on the sofa, the dog does not need to be there (others sitting in the sofa might not appreciate it either).
dorsnt matter if dog was also invited - if they scare someone they can be told to go and lie down quietly next to owner. And if they can’t do that then it wasn’t right to bring dog in the first place. Saying this as a former dog owner…

Both. The dog owner should have appreciated that your dc was afraid and ensured their dog did not approach your dc uninvited. However, it sounds like the dog was a friendly one, so your DH should have used it as an opportunity to help your DC get over their unnecessary fear.

Dog owner was a dick. If the child was uncomfortable being approached by the dog, they should have made sure they kept their dog away from them.

And you can guarantee, had it been the other way around, if the dog was minding its own business and kept being bothered or prodded by a child, I bet the dog owner wouldn't hesitate for 2 seconds to tell the child to leave the dog alone, and to tell the childs parents to keep their kids off their dog.

As a dog owner, I think the dog owner was in the wrong. Being left out of the action for a bit won't kill them. If not a separate room then at least keeping the dog on its bed/ keeping it away from a scared child is common sense! Unless your DH was insisting the dog be shut away when it was minding its own business, its perfectly reasonable to be annoyed at a dog repeatedly upsetting your child.

I would never take my dog to someone's house and let it climb up on the sofa or any other furniture for that matter. That's the bit I find weird and yes, if your dog is causing a nuisance to another person, you stop it.

Some odd responses on this thread!

A lot of PPs have said this but I doubt that when a child is already frightened by the unexpected presence of a dog is the right time to attempt it.

Also, "unnecessary" is quite dismissive of a perfectly rational fear of something that could do you harm. I imagine most people who are scared of dogs werein some way harmed by one in the past - not the dog's fault at all but certainly not the fault of the person who is now quite reasonably afraid of them.

Hard to say definitely without being there, but it sounds like a bit of both to me. Maybe the dog should've been better controlled, but maybe the child and father were being a bit over dramatic. Not everyone loves being jumped on by dogs, but its pretty pathetic and a shows a lack of life skills when you see people react to a friendly and reasonably well behaved dog as if it were a rabid hyena.