Generic MN teenagers

[WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles]

As a follow up to the brilliant "Generic DHs thread started by @TheShellBeach I thought we should have a "Generic MN teenage DC thread (apologies if someone was quicker off the mark and has already started this!)

The generic MN (male) teenager has “hollow legs” and eats a whole loaf of bread and drinks three pints of milk a day but is slightly underweight compared to his peers. He complles with the family rule of leaving mobile phones on the landing overnight without complaint. He has a big gaming chair and his favourite Christmas present this year was colour changing LED lights for his room. He doesn’t need any pocket money as he has a Saturday job so his parents just pay for his phone contract and essential clothing. He saves up himself and buys the expensive stuff he wants like Nike T shirts. He actually gets on with his siblings. Unlike other boys of his age he has zero interest in cannabis and drinks the odd can of fruit cider at a party.

Unlike the RL teenager who accidentally leaves a pack of Rizlas on his gaming desk (next to the LED lights which stopped working after an hour last Christmas but he still hasn’t taken them down) He doesn’t save for expensive stuff like Nike T shirts as he just spends all his money on stupid shit like 8 million Greggs sausage rolls and seventeen bottles of lucozade in one week. He fights with his siblings and you frequently hear him say “fuck off” to them when he doesn’t know you’re in the vicinty . He never answers his texts when you text him to ask if he will be in for dinner as “had no battery” despite you buying him a fucking power bank last week. As he arrives home after dinner he just cooks eleven chicken nuggets (nothing else) in the air fryer. He takes them up to his room and leaves the plate there for days next to the five half empty lucozade bottles.

The generic MN teen also cooks for the family from scratch multiple times a week, comes home early from school or college to walk the dog and happily hands their phone over at night despite the fact that they're seventeen years old.

They also drink nothing but water/milk, eat fruit and raw vegetable sticks for their snack, and never have loads of empty snack wrappers shoved down the side of their beds

Shall I just preempt what's going to happen and leave this here:

Actually I've had four teenagers who are now young adults and just bought their own house despite being 21 as they have a very good job due to their work ethic. I get this is lighthearted but perhaps it's worth looking at your parenting because this is why they grow up into lazy adults/man children we read about on MN. If my DC had done any of the stuff on here they would have been grounded for a month and had their phone taken away for 5 months and certainly wouldn't have done that again. Can I recommend the book "How to talk so teens will listen"

(Some of mine actually are young adults and have turned out fine even if they don't own their own houses at 21 as they have jobs earning over the national average )

They will all obediently apply for degree apprenticeships as directed by mum. Choosing a normal uni degree will not be tolerated.
In real life, 18 year olds choose their own degree

My teen is supposed to go back to school tomorrow yet probably went to bed about 4am this morning. Chances of him getting up on time tomorrow ? 😂

😂

That opens up a whole new thread - the generic MN young adult

Don't worry, he will maximise his chances by getting up at 3.30pm today. A quick nap from 6-8pm and he'll be fine.

If he's late it's OK because everyone turns up late for first lesson anyway.

My DS is a Frankenteen @WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles. He's part the MN generic teenager you described and part the 'real' teenager🤣🤣

MN teen is never stupid, they would never let another drunk teen dye their beard, or forget where the spare key is so essentially break in at 3am, or lock their keys in their car along with the spare key. As you can tell I did not have a MN teen!

"That opens up a whole new thread - the generic MN young adult "

Oooh off you go @whataboutsecondbreakfast and I'll join you on there shortly. I'm just on the phone to my DIL at the moment as we are actually good friends and speak all the time. Sometimes we meet up for lunch even if DS isn't with us!

Have the Hybrid model (Female)

Hard working both at college and part time job, pays for her own non essentials, not sporty per se but loves the gym where she lifts and does strength training.

Has the look down to a T...leggings, oversized sweatshirts and Converse/DMs, tiny crop tops and shorts for sleeping in...until a night is on the cards when she will go the full Towie, although she seems to have found a happy medium recently.

However...room usually looks like it's been on the receiving end of a tantrumming rock star with a passion for herbal tea and hot chocolate, incapable of clearing up the kitchen after herself, seems to think her socks and bras are appropriate decorative accessories for the sofa, rarely answers phone when out, and don't get me started on the state she leaves the bathroom in...the go to aesthetic seems to be seventies stripes in the bath caused by liberal use of fake tan and purple shampoo.

Slay

Ah, here she comes, pockets jangling with Elfbar vapes, off to the shop to buy instant noodles having turned up her nose at lunch I offered two hours ago. Watch her go, Urban Outfitters joggers flapping in the wind, a breeze catches her Primark lashes and up, up, up, she’s away!

Feel free to join me @WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4710762-weve-had-generic-teens-and-husbands-so-what-about-generic-young-adults

<<high fives MintyCedric>>

Let us not forget that the MN generic teen girl is so stunning to look at she is pestered by model agents in the street while walking to her Oxbridge interview, which she will ace (in fact the tutors will verily beg her to grace the university with her presence), just as she aced the 11 plus and every exam since.

I have one hard working and good natured DS whose room looks worse than the town dump. All clothes, whether clean or dirty, are on the floor. (A grubby floor, as he can never see it to vacuum.) He eats everything offered, and likes fruit and veg. He’s also vague to the point of despair, and can lose anything not physically chained to him.

I have one social butterfly whose bedroom is immaculate and restyled by her every few months, but asking her to unload the dishwasher is slave labour, “GOD, do you have to be so extra,” and no perceptible school work is ever done. But all the other kids’ parents adore her as such a helpful, friendly teen. She eats instant noodles and sod all else.

They are 15 but innocent/naive when compared to their friends and believe in Santa until the age of 16.

They have been working part time since the age of 15, with multiple job offers, while doing really well at school and finding time to spend time with all their mates. They are really popular and a natural leader.

The female MN teenager wears modest and well thought out outfits and never causes her father to ask if she's forgotten her skirt or her mother to suggest that she might want a coat.

The female MN teenage wears a very small amount of makeup which is tastefully applied and only for special occasions; the DC's own entirely natural complexion being sufficient for all other times. The female MN teenager on no account plasters on makeup so you need a trowel to take it off, experiments with "interesting" shades of eye shadow, or drops so much mascara in the bathroom sink that it changes colour.

The male MN teenager happily cleans up after his sister on the very odd occasion she doesn't do it herself (for example, if she had to rush off to cook for the family) and never complains when she spends an hour in the bathroom.

A MN teenager compliantly goes to bed at a normal time and gets up at a reasonable hour. Their bedroom gets aired and they make their bed every day.

The RL teenager has turned almost completely nocturnal over the Xmas holidays, and the spends evenings bellowing into the headset for whatever online game is being played, just emerging from their absolute festering pit of a bedroom to moan about the lack of readily food / diet coke / energy drinks etc etc.

The MN teenager has many deep and meaningful conversations with their parents and enjoys spending time with them.

The RL teen spends most of the time "out" with "people" or hibernating in their bedroom to the point that you don't know if they are in or not, but daren't open their bedroom door to check due to the noxious fumes within.

Most of their conversation is conducted in grunts or monosyllables optionally (particularly if female) accompanied by sighs or eye rolls.
On the odd occasion they do wish to discuss something important, it's always just after you've gone to bed and have to be up early the next day.

All tall, slim, beautiful, clever and sporty. Plays an instrument, beloved by teachers and has a wide circle of friends. Is super tidy, does their chores without complaint, (well they have been folding laundry since they were six months old) loves board games with the family, and is thrilled with just a satsuma and a bag of chocolate coins for Christmas.

MN Gen takes a fiver and pops to the local mini supermarket to grab a last minute ingredient and some milk to help out at tea time. Pops the shopping and change on the kitchen table bless him!

RL comes back with a meal deal and 3 packs of cookies. No there isn’t any change. Milk? What?
Don’t bother with tea Mum, I got a meal deal.

They are 'very bright' even if the parent admits they get crap grades. They are never average or a dunce.

Aren't they all bloody "gifted" now?