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Generic MN teenagers

164 replies

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 02/01/2023 13:11

As a follow up to the brilliant "Generic DHs thread started by @TheShellBeach I thought we should have a "Generic MN teenage DC thread (apologies if someone was quicker off the mark and has already started this!)

The generic MN (male) teenager has “hollow legs” and eats a whole loaf of bread and drinks three pints of milk a day but is slightly underweight compared to his peers. He complles with the family rule of leaving mobile phones on the landing overnight without complaint. He has a big gaming chair and his favourite Christmas present this year was colour changing LED lights for his room. He doesn’t need any pocket money as he has a Saturday job so his parents just pay for his phone contract and essential clothing. He saves up himself and buys the expensive stuff he wants like Nike T shirts. He actually gets on with his siblings. Unlike other boys of his age he has zero interest in cannabis and drinks the odd can of fruit cider at a party.

Unlike the RL teenager who accidentally leaves a pack of Rizlas on his gaming desk (next to the LED lights which stopped working after an hour last Christmas but he still hasn’t taken them down) He doesn’t save for expensive stuff like Nike T shirts as he just spends all his money on stupid shit like 8 million Greggs sausage rolls and seventeen bottles of lucozade in one week. He fights with his siblings and you frequently hear him say “fuck off” to them when he doesn’t know you’re in the vicinty . He never answers his texts when you text him to ask if he will be in for dinner as “had no battery” despite you buying him a fucking power bank last week. As he arrives home after dinner he just cooks eleven chicken nuggets (nothing else) in the air fryer. He takes them up to his room and leaves the plate there for days next to the five half empty lucozade bottles.

OP posts:
Findyourneutralspace · 02/01/2023 18:48

My MN teen was absolutely compliant to lockdown, only leaving the house once a day, to meet with one other person for a walk or racquet sport. Definitely.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 02/01/2023 18:54

They are all without exception skinny whilst eating their heads off. But only nutritious food. They don’t eat ‘crap’

They are all super bright and only destined for a redbrick. They have 12 level 9 GCSE without trying, and are doing 4 A levels plus an extra one outside school.

All very sporty and only do stem subjects. And maybe Eng Lit or Pyschology.

They all have driving lessons at 17

MissFancyDay · 02/01/2023 18:57

The one that upsets me a bit is MN teen always has a blast at freshers week, is out clubbing every night, catches flu and makes friends for life.

Mine had a miserable time.

bibbif · 02/01/2023 18:57

All MNs dc are super tall & stunning!

bibbif · 02/01/2023 18:58

Oh & the younger ones only need a stern look & then they stop doing anything slightly naughty.

DirtyBlonde · 02/01/2023 19:01

The RL teenager has turned almost completely nocturnal over the Xmas holidays, and the spends evenings bellowing into the headset for whatever online game is being played, just emerging from their absolute festering pit of a bedroom to moan about the lack of readily food / diet coke / energy drinks etc etc

I see you know DS2. Or are perhaps the DMum of the friend he's staying with for some massive game-athon this week

funtycucker · 02/01/2023 19:02

AfterEightMintyCedric · 02/01/2023 14:35

Have the Hybrid model (Female)

Hard working both at college and part time job, pays for her own non essentials, not sporty per se but loves the gym where she lifts and does strength training.

Has the look down to a T...leggings, oversized sweatshirts and Converse/DMs, tiny crop tops and shorts for sleeping in...until a night is on the cards when she will go the full Towie, although she seems to have found a happy medium recently.

However...room usually looks like it's been on the receiving end of a tantrumming rock star with a passion for herbal tea and hot chocolate, incapable of clearing up the kitchen after herself, seems to think her socks and bras are appropriate decorative accessories for the sofa, rarely answers phone when out, and don't get me started on the state she leaves the bathroom in...the go to aesthetic seems to be seventies stripes in the bath caused by liberal use of fake tan and purple shampoo.

Purple shampoo is the bane of my life

funtycucker · 02/01/2023 19:05

Doesanyoneknowwhattheyaredoing · 02/01/2023 16:06

MN - teen girl goes shopping and shares clothes with their mum. Gets ready on time so that family days out happen as planned.

RL - so critical of mum - but will accept no criticism at all against her. Anything mum wears is now so out of fashion she wouldn’t contemplate wearing it. Will stay in bed until afternoon even though you were meant to be going out together in the morning. However if she remembers she has an appointment you have 3 seconds to get ready or you are the worst patents ever…

RL teen makes 'rating my mum's shoes' tik toks just to take the piss out of them.

MN teen does not as they don't have tik tok or any other social media

daffodilandtulip · 02/01/2023 19:05

I have a MN girl and a RL boy 🤷‍♀️

WaggledMyAerialAndWolfedMyCustardCreams · 02/01/2023 19:06

bibbif · 02/01/2023 18:57

All MNs dc are super tall & stunning!

Yes, as I noted earlier they are pounced on by scouts for top modelling agencies as they walk though Oxbridge on the way to their interview!

The comparatively few teens who get straight 9s for their GCSEs all have parents on MN, it seems.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 02/01/2023 19:06

The MN teen girl also often forgets to eat.

Cuppasoupmonster · 02/01/2023 19:07

Crying OP 😆 it always makes me laugh when a poster says their DS ’definitely isn’t interested in smoking/drinking/girls’ with such confidence you know they’re utterly naive 😂

Also when they say how AWFUL all men are, yet their DS is always an exception to this, and wouldn’t dream of objectifying women or watching porn ‘because I brought him up well’. PMSL

PeekAtYou · 02/01/2023 19:08

The nap is him to a tee.
He's currently on his gaming headset and is going out at 8pm. He's a good lad so will be home at a reasonable time but I'm assuming that he'll be up most of the night making pot noodles etc

Cuppasoupmonster · 02/01/2023 19:09

And yes the girls are always very tall and slim with enormous feet, but insecure and completely unaware of their model-like looks. They’re also amazing feminists by the age of 6, ‘not into all that pink Princess crap’ and ready to hand out a shiner to any boy that looks her way in the playground. She’s got her eyes set on being an engineer, and will definitely achieve it because she’s an A* student.

watcherintherye · 02/01/2023 19:13

AuntieStella · 02/01/2023 14:16

The worst thing about schools closing for covid on 20/21 for mythical teenagers was the cancellation of exams, because they were really looking forward to them.

Real teenagers were delighted

This! TV news interviewers seemed to have no difficulty finding loads of horrified MN teens upset by lockdowns and longing for GCSEs to prove themselves after years of hard work.
My RL teen in the meantime was having what he recently called the best time of his life, with no school, keeping in touch with friends via gaming, and you could have heard the ‘Yesss!!!’ miles away when they announced teacher assessments!

Violashift · 02/01/2023 19:24

My teen.

Generic MN teenagers
AnImaginaryCat · 02/01/2023 19:30

Haven't seen the generic MN husband thread, must check to see if anyone else noticed they are either 6' 2" (or 6'4" on a competitive day).

The generic MN teen boy is usually over that. If they are under 6' it's because they are 5' 11" and 13 years.

Oblomov22 · 02/01/2023 19:32

Ha ha. Funny. My 2 do some of this, not all. Ds1 did well with minimal studying, which is irritating.

WaggledMyAerialAndWolfedMyCustardCreams · 02/01/2023 19:38

Oh yes. Not for this thread, but the generic MN husband is so tall (and such a hunk) that he is widely swooned over.

SailorGeri · 02/01/2023 19:47

Gingerwarthog · 02/01/2023 16:35

MN teenager is a voracious reader of books and can whip up a 3 course meal for her family (after six hours of studying and swim practice). Wide vocabulary from all the reading.

RL - watches the film versions and thinks Pot Noodle on toast is the GOAT while telling her mates they 'slay'.

OMG does my daughter live with you? She says "slay" all the time. And I still don't know what it means.

RL daughter not only leaves her knickers gusset side up on the bedroom floor, she also leaves used sanitary towels in them.

BronwenFrideswide · 02/01/2023 19:48

The generic MN teen boy is usually over that. If they are under 6' it's because they are 5' 11" and 13 years.

Oh yes I forgot how tall all the generic MN teen boys are must be something to do with those hollow legs.

redskydelight · 02/01/2023 19:48

Catmuffin · 02/01/2023 14:27

They will all obediently apply for degree apprenticeships as directed by mum. Choosing a normal uni degree will not be tolerated.
In real life, 18 year olds choose their own degree

In real life, 18 year olds don't have a clue what they want to do (exacerbated by the fact that all the MN teens have had their life plan mapped out from age 5) and doss around the house after leaving school, pretending to apply for jobs and do useful things, on the fiction of it being a gap year. Before their parents lose the plot and refuse to keep them in sausage rolls and Lucozade any longer and insist they get a job in Tesco.

Mummacake · 02/01/2023 19:57

DirtyBlonde · 02/01/2023 19:01

The RL teenager has turned almost completely nocturnal over the Xmas holidays, and the spends evenings bellowing into the headset for whatever online game is being played, just emerging from their absolute festering pit of a bedroom to moan about the lack of readily food / diet coke / energy drinks etc etc

I see you know DS2. Or are perhaps the DMum of the friend he's staying with for some massive game-athon this week

Ahhh also my RL teen. Are they clones? Don't forget the 'where are my pants' demands when they conveniently ignore your request for them to put their laundry in the basket. Teenagers 🙄

Cuppasoupmonster · 02/01/2023 20:00

WaggledMyAerialAndWolfedMyCustardCreams · 02/01/2023 19:38

Oh yes. Not for this thread, but the generic MN husband is so tall (and such a hunk) that he is widely swooned over.

Haha yep. Always ‘built like a brick shit house’ compared to his wife who is ‘only 5’4 and constantly teased about how tiny I am next to him’ despite only being an inch shorter than average.

Mumsnet babies are also whoppers - they go STRAIGHT into 0-3 months clothes, and are ‘over the 99th centile’. They are also ‘total boob monsters’ and never the lacklustre feeders that my DD was.

Cuppasoupmonster · 02/01/2023 20:00

Oh and don’t forget if there IS a small baby, they’re always ‘petite’, not just plain small.

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