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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Really can't face work tomorrow

225 replies

boxingdayisbest · 02/01/2023 11:25

I know I'm being unreasonable I suppose (as I'm sure thousands of others feel the same) but I go back to work tomorrow and have a lurching feeling in my stomach every time I think about it. I just don't want to face it.

Before Christmas it was very high pressure and stressful and will continue to be so for the foreseeable future. I've been in a new job since June last year (2022) with a company I've been at a few years but it hasn't panned out as advertised at all. My direct line manager is the same (and a good guy) but we've been moved to another team and management above him are all different. They are archaic in behaviour and stuck in the 90s, no appreciation of work/life balance, never any acknowledgment of hard work and don't appear to even value our function.

I get paid very well and work from home though (which due to kids and health I value deeply). There is now little chance of progression further.

I feel very stuck and don't want to face it! I feel a bit like my kids not wanting to go back to school but know I really just need to get a grip! Leaving isn't an easy option either as it won't be simple to get something else that pays enough and largely let's me work remotely.

Anyone else feeling similar today and want to get through tomorrow together?

OP posts:
snappynewyear23 · 02/01/2023 11:29

I feel the same OP I wish I just never had to go back!

MargaretThursday · 02/01/2023 11:32

I feel the same.

We have someone at work who has been behaving like a spoilt brat and it just means everyone is on edge for the next petty behaviour.

PrincessConsuelaBanana · 02/01/2023 11:34

Yes, I couldn’t sleep last night worrying about work on Tuesday, so now feel even worse and more stressed as a result 😫
I was recently manipulated into taking on line managing 4 people (long story and largely my fault for being too naive!) which has turned out to be a lot more stress and work than advertised with an extremely insignificant pay increase in return. I only work 3 days but my workload is unmanageable in that time. I’m now having to recruit a replacement for one of my direct reports - more stress and time.
I don’t want to leave because I have a really difficult home life (severely disabled son who requires a lot of care and whilst he is in school, I often need to pick him up or attend appointments etc) and my work give me a LOT of flexibility as I’ve worked there for 15 years and I know I am very valued due to my experience.
ANYWAY - I’m with you OP and definitely sympathise with the feelings of dread 😟 Have you looked for anything else out of interest? My DP got a new job 6 months ago and he specifically needed a WFH role and there was a lot of them about! I do feel a lot of employers are realising they need to be more flexible in that respect now in order to attract employees - we know it’s possible in a lot of cases, since covid! X

HashBrownandBeans · 02/01/2023 11:37

I’m the same. Started a new job in May last year and it’s just been awful from start to finish. No training, then months down the line the managers moaning me and the other girl don’t know how to do tasks. When you ask them a question or for help they refuse to give a straight answer. The two managers make mistakes every day then pull others up for making the same quite minor mistakes, while others in the business do quite major things such as making decisions that cost the company lots of money, or turning up drunk or high, if they bother to turn up at all, and this goes on unchecked. It’s soul destroying.
I have a job interview elsewhere on the 4th. 🙏

QualityStreetGreen · 02/01/2023 11:40

Slightly different but I’m dreading the re-opening of schools again, rather than going back to work.

We’ve had a hell of a year!

Thankfully DS is in Y11 though so counting down the days!

IamSamantha · 02/01/2023 11:40

I'm the same. I'm dreading it as I'm so overworked and stressed all the time. Rundown and on cold number 3 since October. No way out at the moment. I'm exhausted by it now. No investment for years, increasing demand and expectations and I've not had a pay rise for 10 years (yes it's CS).

AssumingDirectControl · 02/01/2023 11:44

I feel exactly the same and was going to post about it. Genuinely feel like my job is killing me but need to pay the mortgage so here I still am. I had two weeks off over Christmas and it took me a week to stop ruminating on work, last week has been lovely but the last few days I keep thinking about the hell January is going to be, and the backlog caused by the last two weeks leave.

the stupid thing is, I love my job but the pressure and stress is unworkable at the moment.

Twinstudy · 02/01/2023 11:44

Same :( I'm actually off until Wednesday but not really able to relax because I keep thinking about going back to work. I need a change but I'm also well paid and WFH so it's hard to move. Im very jealous of people who love their jobs!

SomeoneSomewhere21 · 02/01/2023 11:45

I can’t offer a solution but solidarity as I feel the same. I’m just exhausted with it all.

Working full time and quite high pressure. Two new managers starting as well so no idea what changes they’ll make and extra pressures they will place upon me. Luckily my direct report and rest of team are great.

Kids with SEN and one of them doing GCSE’s this year so needs lots of support and energy and I just have nothing left in me!

Singleandproud · 02/01/2023 11:49

Not dreading so much but I'm apprehensive as I start a new role in a completely different industry than the one I've always worked in. It's a newly created role and whilst I know what is expected of the pay grade I have no idea what I'll actually be doing and it's not related to my previous roles at all.

However, I was able to get rid of the formal business wear my previous role required, I'll be spending part of my working week outdoors and part WFH and I'll have my evening back as its a bog standard 9-5 instead of teaching which was taking over my life.

ButterflyOil · 02/01/2023 11:52

I feel you! I actually love my job but unfortunately we have a problem employee who makes life very difficult for everyone. Realised today that a combination of events in December - sickness in team, annual leave, training and events requiring people to be away etc. means that i’ve barely seen this person in a month. My stress levels have been noticeably lower!

The only option for me now is to leave I think. Many on the team have tried to get the issues sorted but this person is extremely good at managing to do just enough to improve their behaviour to avoid the disciplinary process - and then goes back to work making life hard for everyone in a myriad of ways. It’s just drip drip drip and relentless obstruction and annoyances, with the odd big issue delaying work and having the rest of us scrabbling around to sort out what they’ve fucked up. I’ve realised our managers either don’t want to or don’t have the ability to sort it out. So it’s active job hunting for me.

I think you should really look at what else is available, January can be a great time for job hunting, lots of positions are held off from being advertised over Xmas so you never know, something new could come up. That’s how i’m getting through it - I just see this situation as temporary now until I find a new opportunity.

catmania · 02/01/2023 11:53

Same here. I know i've got a shite day tomorrow, one of many. My anxiety, stress and overthinking are already kicking in. I just try and focus on the fact i have a job and look forward to my time off.

NeedAHoliday2021 · 02/01/2023 11:56

I feel the same. I used to love my job but last year it all changed and these feelings are completely new. I hate it, and hate how much I hate it. I’m tied in for now due to a training commitment so the next year will be a slog but will be worth it to gain the qualification. My main aim is now not to get sacked… I’ve always been great at my job (appraisals back this) but new manager and team has changed everything and I’m drowning with being constantly set to fail. New team are a bunch of bullshitters and I hate playing that game.

I’m hoping that I’ll feel better once I’ve had a day back and faced the dreaded teams meeting.

Rosebel · 02/01/2023 11:56

Same. I actually did enjoy my job but it's going to be stressful and work have given me an extra responsibility which I don't want and don't get paid extra for which starts tomorrow.
I've been snapping at DH and kids because I'm stressed. Only been there since July so don't feel I can leave and the payis better than average for the sector. Just don't want to go back

Original poster
boxingdayisbest · 02/01/2023 11:59

Sorry to hear so many others feeling similar, it really is shit isn't it!

@PrincessConsuelaBanana I've looked at job sites but not in earnest. Enough to realise there aren't an abundance of similarly paid jobs in my area of specialty. They will come up but not incredibly regularly and mainly wfh to the degree I do now is less common again. I'm a 2hr commute each into London which is where the majority of similar roles are based.

It's so annoying as when I took the job in June the outlook and wider management team had all the right characteristics for it to pan out really positively. As I said, my direct line manager is great but he also feels like me and shares that with me! At one point he even said, if he was younger, he'd be looking to leave. Not exactly filling me with hope!

OP posts:
zingally · 02/01/2023 12:08

I feel the same OP. I go back on Wednesday. Not looking forward to it.

But honestly, I think most people enjoy slobbing around at home more than they do going to work!

But I also know once I do a few days of it, I'll be fine. I just need to get back in the routine.

Morethanthis71 · 02/01/2023 12:13

I feel the same. I teach, and tomorrow isn't an INSET Day. I have planned my lessons though and I'm off out for an invigorating walk, so I am hoping that raises my motivation.

freeandfierce · 02/01/2023 12:15

Didn't sleep last night worrying about returning to work (teacher). I've managed to catch up on some stuff over the holiday but know there is so much still to do my stress levels will be sky high again within the week. Been reflecting on a possible career change over the break, I can't continue at this pace anymore. No staff! Massive classes. So much admin. Teaching evenings too so back to back sessions from 9-9 four days a week.
I know that within a week I will be back on the wheel counting off the weeks remaining (7) until half term.

Findingmypurposeinlife · 02/01/2023 12:18

Thank goodness for this thread. Helps to know its not just me.

Greensleevevssnotnose · 02/01/2023 12:21

I was put on garden leave at the end of November and I can tell you it is a relief not to have to go to work tomorrow. But come end of January when there is no salary in my bank it won't be so much fun. As my mum says suck it up buttercup, or make a change.

FleasNavidad · 02/01/2023 12:24

I've got a brilliant, easy job and I can't be arsed either. I think it's specifically this Christmas period. Had so much fun and now it's almost over.

snappynewyear23 · 02/01/2023 12:25

That’s helpful I suppose @FleasNavidad

ilovesushi · 02/01/2023 12:28

Feeling the same. I have a lot of responsibility, there is a lot of pressure, not enough time to stay on top of it all and I have some very challenging colleagues. I applied for and didn't get a payrise this year so am well and truly peed off. I would love to go part time but financially I can't afford to.

HadEnoughNow1 · 02/01/2023 12:30

I feel the same. Woke up this morning and almost cried at the thought of only one more day until I have to go back to work 🙁

Droppit · 02/01/2023 12:30

If you really don't have any options to change employment, then the best you can do is change your mindset about work.

Try to remember that work is just one part of your life, and far from the most important part (easier said than done I know). I wonder if there are any emotional detachment techniques you can practise to help you disassociate from the stressful environment (maybe on YouTube). There are definitely mindful techniques you can use when at work to ground you and stop yourself spiralling into the stress.