Really can't face work tomorrow

[boxingdayisbest]

I know I'm being unreasonable I suppose (as I'm sure thousands of others feel the same) but I go back to work tomorrow and have a lurching feeling in my stomach every time I think about it. I just don't want to face it.

Before Christmas it was very high pressure and stressful and will continue to be so for the foreseeable future. I've been in a new job since June last year (2022) with a company I've been at a few years but it hasn't panned out as advertised at all. My direct line manager is the same (and a good guy) but we've been moved to another team and management above him are all different. They are archaic in behaviour and stuck in the 90s, no appreciation of work/life balance, never any acknowledgment of hard work and don't appear to even value our function.

I get paid very well and work from home though (which due to kids and health I value deeply). There is now little chance of progression further.

I feel very stuck and don't want to face it! I feel a bit like my kids not wanting to go back to school but know I really just need to get a grip! Leaving isn't an easy option either as it won't be simple to get something else that pays enough and largely let's me work remotely.

Anyone else feeling similar today and want to get through tomorrow together?

HR have a duty of care to their employees and not the business/management but I can understand your concerns as I have faced a similar issue with a former employer in the past. They paid it lip service and then did sweet fa!! Several times!!
Gather the evidence as an employment tribunal or union would find it useful if it should ever come to that. If she is trying to make you leave that could prove to be constructive dismissal when you are forced to leave your employment because of your employers conduct!!

I'm dreading going back to work tomorrow. I'm meant to be in the office but awaiting biopsy results and my head's all over the place. My boss is OK but I'm very new in the job and feel under pressure to make a good impression. Probably won't get much sleep tonight.

@Tadpoll 100% this. I have given everything, including my dc missing out as I worked all hours in the pandemic (nhs) and now management has changed, no one remembers the dedication and I’ve been feeling unappreciated and lots more. I’ve decided to work my hours, not check emails outside of that time, take lunch and finish at 5pm. I’m not busting a gut anymore. I’m not going to slack but they get me during work hours and then my time is for me and my family.

January goals

• lose weight (comfort eating through work misery has got me here)
• pass my uni assignments
• work at a good enough standard
• don’t get sacked / smile through passive aggressive comments from colleague who thinks she’s better than me and deserves my salary.

I've never been more tempted to quit my job. Like so many here, flexibility is great and pay is ok. Hoping this start retraining this year. Solidarity with everyone feeling rubbish about the return.

I'm back tomorrow and although I'm not dreading it as such I'm not looking forward to it. I work in a school so it's great for term time and school runs but not paid brilliantly

Good for you good luck in your interview. These situations seem to crop up when managers have no idea how to manage people and get them onside. To expect you to start a new job with no training is ridiculous . I have seen this a lot in my 35 year career, thank goodness I have retired.

HR have a duty of care to their employees and not the business/management but I can understand your concerns as I have faced a similar issue with a former employer in the past.

This made me laugh. HR are for management only. Any work issues go to your union don't bother with HR

I’m a TA and dreading it too … education is stressful, not enough staff, expected to work way over our paid hours, it’s firefighting all the time and not being able to get on with my job. Safeguarding will be a shit show with disclosures….. many of our children though probably can’t wait to come back to their safe place. So I’ll be there with a big smile 😊

Ditto, I feel the same. I love my job too but have this anxious feeling & a lot of dread.

I just decided to look at my emails now to bite the bullet & it’s all fine. Phew.

Yes! I am the same, really dislike my job. Sat here thinking I just want to stay in bed tomorrow and not get up. Which really is unreasonable as I work from home and I just need to shower and walk downstairs.

Luckily, i am going on maternity leave in mid March so just need to power through till then! I have 6 weeks off before the baby comes and I can’t wait! I have a countdown in a spreadsheet.

@IamSamantha I laughed drily (dryly?) at this because I could have written it word for word (also CS). Sympathies. Dire, isn’t it.

So

I felt like this last year, my company had been taken over so whilst my 'job' was not changed the environment / expectations and actually expected work changed significantly

Originally I was an account manager whos responsibilities were XYZ. New company responsibilities were ABC for the same 'role' and just like you the expectations were not what I wanted to do.

In a vain attempt to change things I applied for a promotion. I knew I didn't fit their brief but just decided I knew I was capable so decided they would have to explain why I wasn't what they needed. The feedback was laughable - I was the best in interview and had the best presentation however my technical knowledge was not up to par (on the product they sold not the one I was managing from the taken over company) the response to my pragmatic approach that they could train me and have me ready for the next promotion was all I needed to realise things were not going to change.

I applied for another role and got it - unfortunately due to the economy things didn't work out and a few months in they let me go. I was ASTONISHED that a previous contact just offered me a job and I also had another offer for a role at the same time. My point is this, you are valuable and you are an asset but when in a role like you are at the moment its almost impossible to see. So take a step back make time to write your CV, take a lunch break every day and do it then get some interviews under your belt and you will see your place in the world.

If I had read this in Jan last year I simply would not have believed you, I now walk into work (or work from home) happy with a supportive boss, CEO and HR director its like a breath of fresh air!

Good luck you really can make a change just have a look

So many people under particular strain. Good luck @Notagainst and @thebear1 . I hope you get a good outcome.

JT69, thanks for making a difference for those students. I cannot imagine what their home life is like.

Yep, I could weep at the thought of going back tomorrow.

I had a fluey virus in mid Nov and worked through it, thinking I’d have a lovely long break at Christmas. Then got Covid. I’ve seen no friends or family, felt like shit and the house is gone to hell in a handcart as I haven’t managed to keep on top of anything. Also have a deadline tomorrow for a project I’ve barely started as was too Ill before the holidays.

I just want to go back to bed and sleep until March.

Yep feeling exactly the same.

A lot of promises were made in interview for this job that were then sneakily rescinded, a lot of stuff added to our job role over time under the guise of "and any other tasks as required" that are absolutely 100% not something we should be doing without a massive pay bump (some accountability on us if we end up doing them, for example, with no actual training, no protections should things go tits up and no pay rise at all to reflect the responsibility). No real onboarding or training, no offer to complete job related qualifications etc, so i've sat for 9 months and done literally fuck all (and I mean literally sitting here doing nothing - great if you are into that but I am so BORED and feel like a fraud).

The company was so stingy this year management didn't give us a Christmas party budget, something they have done for DECADES, despite us making a large profit this year, so the "cost of living crisis" excuse doesn't cut it. I'd heard all about how private companies (especially this one) were so much better than the public sector, yearly bonuses and frequent pay rises, paid Christmas party, benefits list as long as your arm, so much better to work for etc etc. Turns out it's exactly the same as it's public sector equivalent but people pay to use the services and the top dogs scrape all the profit off for themselves.

Wish I had a decent savings pool or a lottery win. I'd just not go back.

I like my job as I m self employed and do a range of different things in adult education, I have spent years creating the right balance of things I love and things that pay well! Because of the cost of living I have taken on a lot of work and I am really behind, i wanted to catch up a bit over the break but I have had agonising plantar facilitis since 1st November and because of how I ve been walking I have now lost all of the skin on my toes, they are infected and I can’t walk at all, I can’t drive abs I haven’t slept in more than 15 minute bursts since Xmas eve. I can’t concentrate on work, nothing is helping the pain and my antibiotics aren’t working so I have no idea how I m going to get through it 😞😞

I feel exactly the same. I started a new role recently and I was so happy, proud and excited. Its been awful.

When I worked, every Sunday night and worse after an extra day/week/s off the though of going back to work nearly drove me to drink. But once there it was ok

Same. Back on Wednesday and dreading it. Leadership team is a joke and make everyone else miserable with their failures.

I actually really like my job. I’m PT and have 2 training days before the kids come back and I am teaching. Would rather not be doing training and instead, working my proper hours but hey ho!

Having said all that, I do feel an incredible sense of anxiety about going back and my work load. I am also going through some serious health issues which will result in an op and goodness knows how much time off. I will hear about this next week so sort of on tenter hooks at the mo.

I don’t feel like I have had a break either as we hosted for a week over Christmas so not rested at all but I do have a few things to look forward to socially, so focusing on them which is all I think we can do when we are feeling stressed about our jobs and leaving isn’t a realistic option.

I feel the same, but I am barely paid more than minimum wage, and I mean barely, so it severely pees me off.
A month or two back, I got a letter from payroll, saying my pension contribution had to be changed, as it was actually causing me to be paid less than minimum wage. This isn’t a large pension contribution. It’s the minimum they asked for.
I’m so sick of it.
And it appears I have to apply for the job, I was told that I ready had.

The last time this happened to me, ( years ago) I left when I was told I had to apply for a job I was already doing, even though they repeatedly asked me to stay, but still required me to interview.
In that old situation, I had been asked to do apply for a job with another company, which was guaranteed, and led to other things, so I was in a good position to leave then.

I’d love to be able to do this. How do you do it? I dread work most of the time and feel sick about tomorrow. I’m am paid fairly well and have flexibility - I know there is a lot to be said for that so not easy to make a move. Bosses can be difficult and there are so many work politics that I’m dragged in to. Morale is pretty low throughout the teams I work with. I don’t want to think about it when I’m not working but it creeps into my thoughts all the time.
How did you stop giving a shit - I need to learn!

And this is better? You say you've been on holiday, but if you've been working a few hours each day then you really haven't, have you?

Everyone saying that they're stressed or that they are overworked and do lots of unpaid overtime - why? Unless you've been in a job for less than two years or you genuinely think that they will find a way to get rid of you illegally if you just do a regular day's work then you're doing it to yourselves (but also making it much harder for any colleagues who will then feel pressured to do the same).

I'm not talking about 'quiet quitting' which as I understand it is doing the bare minimum to avoid being sacked; this is 'acting your wage' - doing the best you can while you are there but not going 'over and beyond'.

My sympathy though for those who are already doing this but also realise they are in one of those 'bullshit jobs' where they are simply turning up and doing something that is utterly pointless and of no real use to society (HR, PR, advertising, corporate law, etc). That can be totally soul destroying as is realising that if everyone was just doing the stuff that actually needs doing we could all be working 3 or 4 days a week by now.

I could have wrote this myself OP. Generally I enjoy my job though, but certain things are going on making it temporarily horrific. Hugs to you, hopefully the logging in itself is the hardest bit!