Really can't face work tomorrow

[boxingdayisbest]

I know I'm being unreasonable I suppose (as I'm sure thousands of others feel the same) but I go back to work tomorrow and have a lurching feeling in my stomach every time I think about it. I just don't want to face it.

Before Christmas it was very high pressure and stressful and will continue to be so for the foreseeable future. I've been in a new job since June last year (2022) with a company I've been at a few years but it hasn't panned out as advertised at all. My direct line manager is the same (and a good guy) but we've been moved to another team and management above him are all different. They are archaic in behaviour and stuck in the 90s, no appreciation of work/life balance, never any acknowledgment of hard work and don't appear to even value our function.

I get paid very well and work from home though (which due to kids and health I value deeply). There is now little chance of progression further.

I feel very stuck and don't want to face it! I feel a bit like my kids not wanting to go back to school but know I really just need to get a grip! Leaving isn't an easy option either as it won't be simple to get something else that pays enough and largely let's me work remotely.

Anyone else feeling similar today and want to get through tomorrow together?

@springerspanielpuppy I found the same with WFH - is there an option for hybrid working?
I rent a hotdesk space, which I love - it's better than working with colleagues - you can whinge about them with a brilliant degree of confidentiality.

Not starting work until next week - new role that i'm looking forward to, hopefully I can shift the lurgy & hacking cough by then.

If I were you I’d make a coffee twice a week ongoing and have a good look for something else. A bit of me time with a view to finding something better. If you don’t look you won’t find it. Good luck.

I’m in nursing, huge responsibility, haven’t ever been able to work from home, and the pressures /expectations just keep increasing with fewer and fewer resources . I luckily have had lots of odd days off over Xmas but dreading going back as literally will start drowning in work again. But I’m not able to take a salary cut /also impact on my pension, so I just feel so so stuck. I feel your pain OP ( and everyone else’s )

Another one in a flexible job but feeling unappreciated in other ways. I work incredibly hard and more than make up for any flexibility (one of my bug bears is that the full timers work ethic in my department is pitiful!) but new employers won’t know that. New boss of my boss starting soon and don’t like them. Being very positive and politic for now but dreaming of my escape!

I’m the same.

i am dreading it. Spent most of the Christmas break sick with this cough cold thing everyone has got as I’m so run down and exhausted and I don’t feel anywhere like ready to go back. It makes me feel so
miserable. I’m going to look for a new job but it’s it that easy and doesn’t solve the dread of tomorrow

I just keep telling myself it won’t be as bad as I think

Yep feel the same way as well. Its making family life today miserable. I've bit OH'shead off a couple of times already 🤦‍♀️

I feel exactly the same. I'm dreading going back tomorrow.

Can you kind of forget that you were meant to take on the extra responsibility? Then when and if it is mentioned say Oh! I didn't think you were being serious because there is no increase in pay for said responsibility and I won't be able to complete my normal job without passing some of that on to some other colleague/fool!!

I'm with you OP. I currently work in a clinical role 50% NHS and 50% private. Just before Christmas I was spat on by a disgruntled patient. I'm used to be sworn at and dodging slaps on a weekend night but people are getting more angry (quite rightly) and I've got the option to leave NHS work completely so the end in is sight! Counting down the days.

I’m back on the 4th and am dreading it too. My manager throws epic sulks that last for months and her last one started just before the Christmas break. Months of punishment, exclusion, and demeaning lie ahead. I am trying to change my mindset. I can’t change her but I can try to change my reaction to her. How some people become mum gets, though, is bewildering. She’s abusive.

‘Managers’.

This.

I hated my job for a while - the managers are disorganised and there’s an unhelpful culture, plus lots of corporate bullshit.

HOWEVER, I’ve since learnt to completely detach myself from it emotionally. I’m good at my job and they need me just as much as I need them, it’s ok paid for the industry so I now waltz into work knowing that I don’t really give a shit.

It’s changed my whole attitude to it.

You could keep a diary of our managers' unreasonable behaviour - the fact that you mention months of punishment, exclusion, and demeaning lie ahead suggests that there is a bullying culture in action here.
This evidence could be used to support you with HR (if you have one) or unfair dismissal, or any other scenario which come about as a result of this person and their abusive behaviour.

Totally relate OP.
i’m a vet student in my final year. You change clinics every 2 weeks and expectations, routine timing etc changes constantly. I’m autistic and have ADHD. I was burnt out before Christmas, suffering from my stress induced chronic migraines, covered in bruises, exhausted, losing my hair!!

All that’s been suggested by uni is to skip the year. I have 4 weeks left after doing back to back constantly. I feel like it’s going to kill me. It wouldn’t be hard for them to tell me my timetable in advance rather than at 10pm on a Sunday!!

I go back tomorrow and I’ve managed 8 hours sleep in the last 7 days. I’ve been throwing up all day due to nerves

I feel the same. Generally I like my work but last year was more stressful than normal. Thankfully I did manage to properly switch off from thinking about it for a few days over the festive break but there will be no easing back into it tomorrow! Just trying to enjoy today. I’ll have some nice food and a (hopefully) relaxing bath later.

Same here. I hate, hate, hate my pointless and meaningless job. But the pay and WFH are the proverbial "golden handcuffs." At nearly age 60 I'll never find anything better. Sigh.

I know it's a total cliche but don't think too far ahead. I have gone back today and was dreading my week, but I then decided to just think about today. I'm not having a bad day despite my job being very stressful.

Also look for the things you can look forward to in the day and refocus your thoughts on these rather than the section of the day you are at work. My shift is 7-3:30 and I'm looking forward to a new crochet project in front of the TV and fire tonight, and having dinner with my family.

It's funny how the dread quite often is much worse than the reality!

It is bullying and I work in a very hostile environment. I believe she’s trying to make me leave. I am going to keep a note of her behaviour this year. I’ve considered going to HR but that seems like a nuclear option and I’m not sure it would help me really. I’ve been fretting all through the Christmas break though and feel quite damaged by it all.

I am normally happy to return to work, but this week I am due to find out the outcome of a restructure and possible redundancy. Dreading it.

Feel sick at the thought of it to be honest. Feel very, very down 😔

I used to sometimes feel like this, but this holiday I have been doing a few hours work each day (even though I am on holiday) since late last week so I hit the ground running. No unread emails, I’ve emailed or prepped emails to commission work and got stuck into writing some reports.

Understandable. Best of luck!

@ThinWomansBrainunfortunately not there was some talk of hybrid which eventually morphed into some hot desk space around the city. I tried that but very often I was the only one in that space or met one or two other people in passing. I found that even more demotivating.

A couple of us have talked about planned meet ups in these spaces if we can synchronise our calendars, which is harder than we thought, especially as much of our work is reactive.

@workiskillingme I used to work in the police I do remind myself that my work conditions are better than they used to be. The NHS is under so much strain it must be exhausting.

It's not an uncommon feeling after weekends and even worse after a longer time off. It can be like the feeling of facing a brick wall. I was in John Lewis on the first day it was open after Christmas and half the staff - or 'partners'- in the department I was in had phoned in sick. Often you find Mondays or days after a Monday bank holiday are bad for train or bus staffing.

I could have written your post this time last year about dreading going back after Christmas but for the opposite reason - I had nothing to do! That may sound like bliss for people but I was so bored and there is only so much online training you can do

At the same time I was contacted about another job. Usually I wouldn’t have entertained it but this time I thought why not have a chat. Started the new role a few months later.

Agree with other posters that sometimes we get stuck in a role that we miss other opportunities. My new role pays pretty much the same as the old one (actually because of the way benefits are calculated it was a slight pay cut) but it was worth the move to actually enjoy working again