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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Really can't face work tomorrow

225 replies

boxingdayisbest · 02/01/2023 11:25

I know I'm being unreasonable I suppose (as I'm sure thousands of others feel the same) but I go back to work tomorrow and have a lurching feeling in my stomach every time I think about it. I just don't want to face it.

Before Christmas it was very high pressure and stressful and will continue to be so for the foreseeable future. I've been in a new job since June last year (2022) with a company I've been at a few years but it hasn't panned out as advertised at all. My direct line manager is the same (and a good guy) but we've been moved to another team and management above him are all different. They are archaic in behaviour and stuck in the 90s, no appreciation of work/life balance, never any acknowledgment of hard work and don't appear to even value our function.

I get paid very well and work from home though (which due to kids and health I value deeply). There is now little chance of progression further.

I feel very stuck and don't want to face it! I feel a bit like my kids not wanting to go back to school but know I really just need to get a grip! Leaving isn't an easy option either as it won't be simple to get something else that pays enough and largely let's me work remotely.

Anyone else feeling similar today and want to get through tomorrow together?

OP posts:
BoneTiredMother · 03/01/2023 18:26

I feel for you OP. It's a horrible feeling.

shoobydoobybop · 03/01/2023 18:28

I've had the same feeling as you in my stomach about a few of my jobs over the years. The only way I got rid of it was by finding another job. Often easier said than done but always well worth the effort imo.

ellyeth · 03/01/2023 18:37

Before I retired I spent years feeling like this after Christmas. Perhaps you definitely need a very well paid job but if you don't it may be better for you to start looking for something else. I regret the years I spent doing a job I didn't enjoy at all and which, at times, made me very anxious. I would advise anyone who feels as you do and who can afford to, to take a less pressurised job and, if possible, go part time.

JFM27 · 03/01/2023 19:02

Im retired but my old office closed recently, the company are sending the work to cheaper offices or offshore.

I feel for all my old colleagues my friend has been with company 37 years since shewas 18, her partner of many years and her split last year so shes had that to deal with too, shed love to be going back to her old job,shes another job but far less pay,our city isnt overun with well paid jobs,no sick pay,our old company had a year.Some of other have taken odd inferior jobs with firm,some have nothing yet,and all will mostly take a cut in pay and working conditions.

So dont be too down hearted my old colleagues would love to be returning to their old jobs tomorrow.

Hopeistaysane · 03/01/2023 19:02

Same here. I feel stressed to death, the people I work with are just unpleasant and I’m sick of the politics.

justasking111 · 03/01/2023 19:13

I hung onto my local government job despite an insane line manager and head of finance because we were trying for a baby, had a rough pregnancy so was off most of the pregnancy. I had no intention of going back. I never worked in the public sector again.

dubyalass · 03/01/2023 19:15

Survived. Wasn't as bad as I was expecting and I think that's because of the people - quite a few in the office and we all made time to have lunch together and not talk about work, which was really nice. The workload is as insane as ever but we got through the day, had a useful meeting and caught up with some admin.

HashBrownandBeans · 03/01/2023 19:21

Mine was as awful as expected; we’ve taken on a new contract that we have no resources for. Bosses gave us no information to go on to sort out the logistics, I just had to guess(times, amounts, addresses-all key info). All queries were met with a shrug. 🤬 I can’t go on like this.
job interview tomorrow, please let it be mine

beaconhead · 03/01/2023 19:29

@Singleandproud - I’m drowning with teaching - would love to know what you are doing now?

asdfgasdfg · 03/01/2023 19:31

Had the weekends & bank hols off but have been off since 29th annual leave. Already dreading the 12th. I actually prefer NOT having time off as I get so stressed when I have to go back.

Justbefair · 03/01/2023 19:36

Does wfh not soften the blow a bit? No stressful commuting, outfit choice, making lunch etc? I do agree the dread of going back is awful but for me I really would eel differently if I had a wfh job, rather than facing new classes of teenagers, the start of the neverendung hamster wheel in teaching.

Try to consider yhe advantages you have, although I'm sorry of course you feel like this and I'm sure the constant e mails and meetings, deadlines and so on are also very difficult, especially with colleagues who aren't respectful or appreciative.

Big breath, you can do this, we can do this! Xxx

SomeChickensAreJustTooBig · 03/01/2023 19:44

Mine was awful today. Hopefully tomorrow will be a bit better. Agree with pp, it would be better not to have time off as it’s so bad going back.

springerspanielpuppy · 03/01/2023 19:54

@Justbefair Yes wfh softens the blow in that I don't have to commute and only have to look dressed from the waist up 🙂but it feels a bit groundhog day, no meeting new people, no interesting conversation, not much discussion of how to implement new stuff and challenges and no one to eat that lunch with.

MissMarplesbag · 03/01/2023 19:56

I've moved to a project management role from FE to the charity sector. If you're open to looking for similar roles but in a different industry then you might find something on this site:

www.charityjob.co.uk/

Toomuchtrouble4me · 03/01/2023 19:59

boxingdayisbest · 02/01/2023 11:25

I know I'm being unreasonable I suppose (as I'm sure thousands of others feel the same) but I go back to work tomorrow and have a lurching feeling in my stomach every time I think about it. I just don't want to face it.

Before Christmas it was very high pressure and stressful and will continue to be so for the foreseeable future. I've been in a new job since June last year (2022) with a company I've been at a few years but it hasn't panned out as advertised at all. My direct line manager is the same (and a good guy) but we've been moved to another team and management above him are all different. They are archaic in behaviour and stuck in the 90s, no appreciation of work/life balance, never any acknowledgment of hard work and don't appear to even value our function.

I get paid very well and work from home though (which due to kids and health I value deeply). There is now little chance of progression further.

I feel very stuck and don't want to face it! I feel a bit like my kids not wanting to go back to school but know I really just need to get a grip! Leaving isn't an easy option either as it won't be simple to get something else that pays enough and largely let's me work remotely.

Anyone else feeling similar today and want to get through tomorrow together?

How does working from home help with your kids health issues?
Are you dealing with sick kids when you are being paid to work?
Is this causing you to be less productive than you ought to be hence the stress?
because that’s what I’m reading.

Figmentofmyimagination · 03/01/2023 20:02

Solidarity. I’m 59, with a lot of wealthy and successful friends, due to life circumstances. So many Christmas cards this year were extolling the joys of retirement - years away for me, sadly.

Singleandproud · 03/01/2023 20:26

@beaconhead A hybrid role with the Environment Agency working on preventing floods and coastal erosion. Whilst my role is admin based I'll still get to go out and about and also have an incident role during floods locally and nationally.

The recruitment process took a horribly long time
Applied in Feb
Interviewed and accepted in May
Security checks finalised in July
However, they then waited for me to work my notice as my school wouldn't let me leave at October half term and I had to wait until Dec 31 so it worked both ways and I think getting out of teaching with the long notice periods is one of the trickiest things.

I've taken a hit salary wise and the holidays but the pension is still good (19% to the teachers 23%). I can work flexi time and accrue toil. My new line manager is married to a teacher and told me "I know what you lot are like, once you've done your hours you're done, shut the laptop and enjoy your evening" which was nice.
I took the role more as a springboard into other, better paid roles in the future but it seems to be a great place to get started especially as I don't have any management experience. There appears to be lots of sideways and upwards movement throughout the organisation which is promising.

BezMills · 03/01/2023 20:30

I wfh which isn't all sunshine and lollipops. I have heard it described as living at work, and it can get that way if you let it.

It does make working round regular and emergency childcare easier, but the work still needs to get done somewhen, somehow.

workiskillingme · 03/01/2023 20:37

BezMills · 03/01/2023 20:30

I wfh which isn't all sunshine and lollipops. I have heard it described as living at work, and it can get that way if you let it.

It does make working round regular and emergency childcare easier, but the work still needs to get done somewhen, somehow.

As someone who can't work from home due to the nature of their job I can see how that would happen and how it could negatively impact on your mental health
I think it's good to have a clear divide between work and home life

beaconhead · 03/01/2023 20:39

@Singleandproud that sounds amazing, congratulations! Thanks for sharing - it’s definitely food for thought. We teachers have so many transferable skills, but knowing where to transfer them to is so tricky!

Falalalalalalaetc · 03/01/2023 20:42

Well, that was erm interesting. Not in a good way.

Maybe we can turn this into a 'get a better job' thread!

BezMills · 03/01/2023 20:43

@workiskillingme I am very strict. No work in the evening or at weekends (I will do the occasional call in the evening with Californian colleagues, but I balance it out). I have to be quite disciplined and generally stay out of the garden office outside work times, which helps.

ButterflyOil · 03/01/2023 20:44

First day was ok but an ongoing issue is still not resolved and it’s so frustrating that we are not able to fix it. Been a shitshow from another part of our organisation and it just reinforces my desire to leave. Checked out the job sites, nothing that really grabs me yet but i’ll be haunting them until I see the right opportunities!

I feel pretty positive to be honest. It’s just run its course for me in this role so i’ll be getting as much out of the role as I can and ensure that when I leave it’s on great terms and the person who replaces me has everything set up nicely to succeed. Onwards and upwards!

BezMills · 03/01/2023 20:47

Best of luck @ButterflyOil

💐to those struggling

ButterflyOil · 03/01/2023 20:54

BezMills · 03/01/2023 20:47

Best of luck @ButterflyOil

💐to those struggling

Thank you! And to you and everyone else who is ready for a change!

Flowers