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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Really can't face work tomorrow

225 replies

boxingdayisbest · 02/01/2023 11:25

I know I'm being unreasonable I suppose (as I'm sure thousands of others feel the same) but I go back to work tomorrow and have a lurching feeling in my stomach every time I think about it. I just don't want to face it.

Before Christmas it was very high pressure and stressful and will continue to be so for the foreseeable future. I've been in a new job since June last year (2022) with a company I've been at a few years but it hasn't panned out as advertised at all. My direct line manager is the same (and a good guy) but we've been moved to another team and management above him are all different. They are archaic in behaviour and stuck in the 90s, no appreciation of work/life balance, never any acknowledgment of hard work and don't appear to even value our function.

I get paid very well and work from home though (which due to kids and health I value deeply). There is now little chance of progression further.

I feel very stuck and don't want to face it! I feel a bit like my kids not wanting to go back to school but know I really just need to get a grip! Leaving isn't an easy option either as it won't be simple to get something else that pays enough and largely let's me work remotely.

Anyone else feeling similar today and want to get through tomorrow together?

OP posts:
DillDanding · 02/01/2023 12:32

I’m dreading work tomorrow. I’m determined to not let it take over my whole life this year.

healthadvice123 · 02/01/2023 12:33

I feel the same and can't get anything else that pays the same or close really even a few thousand pound less is unmanageable with Cost of living at moment
Have spent all of today just dreading tomrrow

34and3 · 02/01/2023 12:35

I'm back on Wednesday after maternity leave. I feel so anxious I'm barely sleeping. I'm thinking of every option I can of resignation

Ariela · 02/01/2023 12:37

I'm looking this January - but only because I always look in January. I do fancy a complete change though. I'll see what pops up, you never know I might find something to apply for. I'm not commuting though BTDT and got the Tshirt. Much as I love London I'm not doing that commute again even though we now have Elizabeth Line.

PearlclutchersInc · 02/01/2023 12:38

Could have written this myself. It gets harder every year.

Not old enough or rich enough to pack it all in either 😞

MrsMorrisey · 02/01/2023 12:39

I've never had a job that can be done from home. Hospitality then nursing.
Genuine question, how hard can it be if you work from home and get paid well? I would've thought it'd be a lot easier.

Charlavail · 02/01/2023 12:41

I feel the same OP. It is also the end of my maternity leave as well so I haven't worked in 10 months. And as I am a teacher I am literally going back to school! The ultimate Sunday (on a Monday)

PaperRhino · 02/01/2023 12:41

I feel the same. Over the years the small agency I work for has changed CEOs and now we under cost, over promise, put ourselves under ridiculous stress and work ridiculous unpaid overtime all to keep going and frankly it doesn’t seem worth it. Not had a pay rise in 3 years despite picking up extra responsibilities and there is less flexibility, zero compassion and zero gratitude - just a rampant blame culture. I really want to leave but have some personal stresses going on that make it hard to focus on job hunting right now, but yes I feel sick at the thought of going back tomorrow - and I’ve had a 30 year career in the same industry which I’ve mostly enjoyed so I know the problem lies with current management practices in my company. But if your direct line manager is the CEO and you don’t have an HR department there’s not much you can do about it 🙄

Sending sympathy to all in the same boat!

Potatosack2 · 02/01/2023 12:46

Twinstudy · 02/01/2023 11:44

Same :( I'm actually off until Wednesday but not really able to relax because I keep thinking about going back to work. I need a change but I'm also well paid and WFH so it's hard to move. Im very jealous of people who love their jobs!

Yes that's me, I'm lucky I have one more day but already dreading it. Also well paid and WFH but it is so stressful I feel really overwhelmed. The lead up to Christmas was stressful and some issues were unresolved so it will be back to the same thing this week :(

blueshoes · 02/01/2023 12:46

You are never stuck. It does require summoning the energy to look for options outside your work or even internally if you want to move. If your children are at the age when they still need a lot of your input, then being in a job that pays well is great even if there is no progression and your superiors are frustrating. It is a means to an end. Try not to think of this as forever.

It takes me a year to fully feel comfortable in a new role i.e. acquire Stockholm Syndrome. Before that, it is 'what have I done?'

One step at a time. One foot in front of the other. You will feel better soon.

Potatosack2 · 02/01/2023 12:49

MrsMorrisey · 02/01/2023 12:39

I've never had a job that can be done from home. Hospitality then nursing.
Genuine question, how hard can it be if you work from home and get paid well? I would've thought it'd be a lot easier.

It definitely is easier logistically and I feel extremely lucky. But I am well paid because of the responsibilities and sometimes they are crippling. It is exhausting mentally so just in a different way. But at least I don't have the physical strain of early mornings and long commutes and get to see my children, unlike before WFH, so I am glad.

Idreamofnothing · 02/01/2023 12:50

MrsMorrisey · 02/01/2023 12:39

I've never had a job that can be done from home. Hospitality then nursing.
Genuine question, how hard can it be if you work from home and get paid well? I would've thought it'd be a lot easier.

It's really isolated and there is very little barrier between work and home unless you have space and good discipline.

I also find people are more inclined to book meetings in at lunch time because there's no formal expectation to have actual breaks, you drift in and out of your work where it's required. If you work in a job that is collaborative it's hard work getting people together, there are no informal chats at the desk as you walk past. All of this can be spun into positives though but if you're in a job that makes you miserable everything is a negative.

LittleMy77 · 02/01/2023 12:51

MrsMorrisey · 02/01/2023 12:39

I've never had a job that can be done from home. Hospitality then nursing.
Genuine question, how hard can it be if you work from home and get paid well? I would've thought it'd be a lot easier.

I wfh for a global firm, and there’s an absolute blurring of boundaries between work and home making it v difficult to switch off completely.

There’s an unwritten assumption with some people I work with, that you will be available to take calls, meetings etc well into the evening, even tho my hours are 9/9.30-6. I’m relatively senior so started putting my foot down late last year as I was regularly pulled into meetings that were going on until 9pm

ive found managing a realistic workload whilst 100% wfh has been really hard ( and it’s all self inflicted) I’ve lost the ability to see what a normal working day is anymore

TheChosenTwo · 02/01/2023 12:52

Not dreading it but I’m fairly new in a job and I still don’t really understand what I’m doing, no induction, just been dropped in it and told to ask my colleagues for what to do.
well paid and generous holiday but we were told just before Christmas that the office is closing and my commute which was a 15-20 minute drive will, from end of feb, become a 1hour 45 minute drive/train/tube commute. Not happy and need to start looking elsewhere pretty soon.

ZekeZeke · 02/01/2023 12:52

I'm miserable in work but the money is okay and it's a 10 minute commute and part time.
So ticks a lot of boxes but I'm miserable.
I've applied for a few jobs over the past two weeks.

FlissyPaps · 02/01/2023 12:55

It’s an awful feeling, OP.

Go in tomorrow with a brave face, don’t overload yourself with work. Do what you’re capable of doing. Don’t stay behind late. Work your contracted hours. Don’t let anyone talk to you like crap. Because, if you died today, it seems like they wouldn’t care. You are just a number to them. So don’t go above or beyond, to make their lives easier.

If you still feel the same after a few days. Look for another job. Life is too short to be miserable about work. You have the power to change this.

TooManyPlatesInMotion · 02/01/2023 12:57

I feel the same. You're definitely not alone.

blueshoes · 02/01/2023 12:59

MrsMorrisey · 02/01/2023 12:39

I've never had a job that can be done from home. Hospitality then nursing.
Genuine question, how hard can it be if you work from home and get paid well? I would've thought it'd be a lot easier.

It is easier to WFH, no doubt about that in terms of the time saved commuting and getting ready to go to work. Travelling is exhausting in itself so it is good to take that out of the equation. That said, I am interrupted by domestic life (teenagers) because my home office is in an open area in the house so I am having to jump around during the day and can only catch up on 'deep thinking' tasks in the evening.

Often WFH office jobs are screen-based so you are constantly glued to the screen and taking Teams calls. It is a long mentally exhausting day and the separation between work and home is not there. I am often working late into the night, my choice no doubt, but the workload is pretty intense and in a senior well paid role, the buck stops with you.

In a managerial role, training of juniors is harder and reviewing their work late at night online brings moments where I want to weep but have to get on with it and tidy it up. This is just whinging. I am not hard done by.

springerspanielpuppy · 02/01/2023 13:09

wfh is so isolating for me, my DCs are adults so while my younger colleagues love the fact they can be home for the children my work life balance is blurry with the added assumption that wfh is easy, convenient and I can exercise, do the washing, cook the dinner all in between meetings.

I have a high pressure job in children’s services and all of the informal ways to let off steam disappear when you are not in an environment with others. I spend a ridiculous amount of time in front of a computer because so many meetings are now online rather than face to face and they are often timed back to back. Emergencies are more frequent and I think that is down to an increase in remote working. Resources are also all online now which is more screen time.

For the first time I am not looking forward to going back to work, I love my job, it is niche and often very rewarding, on paper it is perfect but I’m a social person and I miss the dynamics of human interaction, discussing new ideas or even just life in general, passing the time of day. I’m too close to retirement to go elsewhere, I suppose that’s a double edged sword though.

Willmafrockfit · 02/01/2023 13:09

i went back on friday, eased in gradually, for which i am grateful

Ooowhatshappeningnow · 02/01/2023 13:12

I used to feel this way. All my leave would be ruined with the anxiety of going back to work and what I would find there. I also used to feel like crying when the alarm went off.

At the time I felt I had no choice and would never get off the hamster wheel, I have a mortgage to pay and bills ect.

during lock down I did some serious thinking about life and what I wanted. I thought about what actually interested me and decided to re-train. I found a course I could do around work.

Two years on and I’m in a job I enjoy. I’m making it sound easier than it was, it was hard work and it was scary. I had huge self doubt but I did it. I won’t ever let myself feel like that about work again. Life is too short.

CriticalAlert · 02/01/2023 13:17

I'm retired now and wish I had my old job back because I've got no money! I too used to stress about going back to work after a break. But you just have to do it otherwise you'll be poor. Have a different mind set about going back in, try to see some positives. I know it's tough but what else can we do? Big hugs to all of you who are stressed. X

MilkyYay · 02/01/2023 13:22

I could have written your post OP.

Dreading it. I moved job, it was initially good then line manager changed and its now horrendous. I earn a lot and the family budget can't take the hit if i walk away.

Whatyagonnadokatie · 02/01/2023 13:23

Oh yes. I was going to post a similar thing on here OP.

im wanting to find something to do in the evenings where I can enjoy myself or lose myself for a few hours. But the family type films at the cinema seem to be only on during the day

workiskillingme · 02/01/2023 13:24

Can't empathise as much as I should sadly working for the nhs not getting time off over Christmas and being chronically over worked and underpaid. Maybe look at the good points compared to many other jobs?