Really can't face work tomorrow

[boxingdayisbest]

I know I'm being unreasonable I suppose (as I'm sure thousands of others feel the same) but I go back to work tomorrow and have a lurching feeling in my stomach every time I think about it. I just don't want to face it.

Before Christmas it was very high pressure and stressful and will continue to be so for the foreseeable future. I've been in a new job since June last year (2022) with a company I've been at a few years but it hasn't panned out as advertised at all. My direct line manager is the same (and a good guy) but we've been moved to another team and management above him are all different. They are archaic in behaviour and stuck in the 90s, no appreciation of work/life balance, never any acknowledgment of hard work and don't appear to even value our function.

I get paid very well and work from home though (which due to kids and health I value deeply). There is now little chance of progression further.

I feel very stuck and don't want to face it! I feel a bit like my kids not wanting to go back to school but know I really just need to get a grip! Leaving isn't an easy option either as it won't be simple to get something else that pays enough and largely let's me work remotely.

Anyone else feeling similar today and want to get through tomorrow together?

I feel the same OP. Have been off work for two weeks and a day and should be grateful, but I spent the first 8 days being ill - Xmas was a write off - and still don’t feel completely myself.

I do an admin job in a school and don’t particularly like it - it’s both very isolated and at times very stressful - but currently I don’t see what I could do for the same money and conditions.

I am dreading getting so sucked into work again and always being tired.

I am due to go back tomorrow after 2 months + signed off with anxiety and depression. I am really unwell with a hideous cold and bad tooth ache but can't call in sick! Since I was last in a few have left so I don't even know where I am meant to sit now which is adding to my nerves.

I left abruptly before Xmas due to bereavement and am dreading being asked about it tomorrow.
But I know January will be a quiet month work wise so otherwise it will be okay.

Hope those of you feeling super stressed find a better job or new path to give you more balance.

A lot of the stress of work at the moment comes from being in a workplace that is underfunded and won't change any time soon. eg health or education. You can keep going under those circumstances temporarily, covering for other staff etc but it's when it becomes the status quo that the stress builds and builds and builds and you feel this dread.

Life shouldn't be like this. I used to like going to work in the late 90s/early 2000s. But the little things REALLY helped. Such as having adequate staffing so that we could all have a little 10 min tea break in the morning. And other colleagues were maybe on a break too so you could have a little chat or gossip. Now people are just too busy to take a break and if they DO take one they spend it moaning about how bad it is in work at the moment.

I was also able to have a whole hour for lunch break. It was unpaid but you weren't expected to work any of it so that was fine - you recognised it was good for your wellbeing to get out of the office for an hour, sometimes going for lunch to the cafe over the road with a couple of colleagues. It really helped with team building too, being able to forge friendships.

Somewhere along the line, teams got smaller in the public sector as people left and weren't replaced, but their work just got passed onto other people so their workload got unmanageable. No time to take a break and the rota wouldn't allow it anyway. New people coming into the organisation had only a half hour lunch break so only enough to shove a sandwich down your neck, have a wee and make a phone call. That's if they didn't work at the desk trying to reduce their backlog.

Work is actively unpleasant now, there are no nice bits at all to keep up morale. Apart from nice colleagues, but no-one has time for each other anymore as they're just slaves to the job.

I wish bosses could recognise the need to keep staff genuinely happy in their work in a regular daily sort of way. So not a trade off of an early dart twice a year in exchange for a load of shit the rest of the year.

It’s horrible, isn’t it? I keep reminding myself that I’m lucky to have a job in this climate, and it’s also mostly remote which really suits me but the whole atmosphere and culture within my office is so toxic. Management do not value staff whatsoever and give not one fuck about morale or work life balance. There’s also some quite horrendous bitching and bullying (not to me as I’d cut them down in a second and have done previously). It’s just so draining that I genuinely think I’d be happier stacking shelves but those jobs are actually surprisingly hard to come by. I’m currently trying to save really hard so I can take a 6 month sabbatical.

Could have written your post myself. I'm school admin too. People must think it's a "nice little job". Ha!! I like my colleagues, we alll like each other, and the kids (primary) and value the concept of education. But the workload and unreasonable expectations from government and parents is unsustainable. We don't have enough money to spend, or staff. And my head has just left, so that's gonna bring a whole raft of shit with it (I left my previous school because of the stress of instability). I can't leave because I'll be leaving my colleagues in the lurch and I don't really WANT to leave, but the stress and tiredness is sometimes unbearable, especially when I think of the shitty wages I'm on. My blood pressure shoots up during the weekdays.

I'm going to try going home on time and if the work doesn't get done, then it simply doesn't get done and if they complain I'll tell them that if they can think they can get anyone more efficient then I will step aside and they can replace me (I genuinely mean that).

Apparently the Zoomers are all “quiet quitting” - i.e. rejecting hustle culture and focusing more on work/life balance.

I feel similar but about schools going back - child with SEN and we had an absolutely dreadful autumn term to the point that we are hanging on to their current school place by our fingernails. I have lots of child-related appointments/assessments to do with this over the next few weeks and just want to crawl into a hole and not deal with any of it 😢

I feel the same. The usual work worries, and similar to some others here I’ve got some health concerns that have become apparent over the holidays so I’m awaiting an urgent referral and it’s all I can think about. I just don’t feel I can do my job effectively until I know one way or another if everything is ok or not.

Generally I love my job (mostly) and work with the very best of people but right now, I just can’t face it. I mean, I will, but I really don’t want to!

Hope everyone’s return is as gentle as possible.

I like my job and I’m feeling the same!

give it a few days and I know I’ll be back in the groove but today feels crap.

Counting down the years to retirement - just over a decade to go!!

I feel the same. I have to keep purposely stopping myself from thinking about it as I get waves of panic and feel sick.

I have actually quit my job now. After 10 years I have reached breaking point and can't do it anymore. 1 month of my notice left to work but I feel as stressed as ever.

I feel exactly the same.

I regularly work 60-70 hour weeks and it's brutal. I've also been forced back to the office which I hate.

There's a toxic patriarchal presenteeism culture which I hate.

I'm actively looking for another job hit my industry is like this.

I dream of being a barefoot librarian in the Maldives but that won't pay the rent 😁🥲😭

I go back next week after Maternity leave and I could throw up everytime I think about it 😫

Wish I could but it will affect the children if I don't do it. Also I might get away with it if I was one of the manager's favourites but I'm certainly not.
Immediate team and children are lovely but know it's going to be really full on.
I have a feeling there is a bit of a ticking time bomb going on at work. Not sure what will happen long term

Also feel the same. But with added non work related pressures and long commute to work in the cold eating into my time. Sorry nothing helpful to say. Hope tomorrow is ok for you.

This thread is cathartic...I've been trying to keep across things throughout the break. It's done nothing except making me feel increasingly sick, shaky and guilty. Utterly exhausted.

I run a small tech business and by March we could either go bust (putting three colleagues on the streets and torching my investment - plus that of friends and family) or we could double our turnover from last year. I have no way of knowing which of these scenarios it will be; all my previous forecasts have been miles off target - but I’m increasingly convinced it won’t be good.


Keep telling myself this is 'normal startup' life and I just have to suck it up….this is what founders are paid for. But I don’t think I have got what it takes to just shake it off, and I increasingly doubt my ability to deliver. I’m completely overwhelmed and can’t even talk honestly to friends and family about it, as I’ve got to be the one with a plan and in control.

Even reading my post above my first thought is 'what kind of fucking idiot can't forecast her cashflow three months ahead'.

Me.. I'm that fucking idiot. Feel like sobbing.

@MrsMorrisey the work is still the same wether you are wfh or in the office so if the workLoad is hard and a lot it makes no odds wfh, plus you have to try and catch colleagues on teams efc which isn't always as easy as when in the office and you just pop down to them
Some in the business seem to never be available ? I also find myself putting in more hrs as at the office everyone starts packing up to go home and you kind of follow suit at home I often think , I will just do one more thing.
Also im very customer based as well and if I have a bad call no support at home like I would have in the office

Two friends have quit WFH jobs. The stress of new recruits who you have to train remotely, they then find that stressful themselves. Some things are easier to resolve in person. They then quit so you're stuck with extra work in the interim.

We're social animals I'm not sure WFH works for everyone hence the fluidity in the job market

You are not an idiot - anticipating cashflow is hard enough with established businesses. When you set up a new business you don't have history to fall back on. So work on calculating payroll costs, business running costs, HMRC, gas, electric, plus make a note of accrued costs and prepaid costs - split those costs over 12months and keep recalculating as the true figures come in.
Some months will be over the forecasted figures and others under - that is why you constantly adjust so you can keep on top of these figures.
You were enterprising and started your own business - that is brilliant!

Thousands and thousands (maybe millions?!) of folk hate going back to work.
It's crazy we have created this world.

Oh @Rainbow1901 thank you so much; just the sort of thing I need to hear. It really means a lot that you took the time to help me out.

I've got the cost side down (the 'start up' has actually survived throughout the pandemic). My problem is the revenue line, where my sales forecasting is a shambles, because the market is full of tyre kickers who constantly tell me they need the solution but then defer purchase by 1 month/3 months/ a year.

It's a prevailing problem with working in a sector where you have a highly innovative solution being sold to corporates / local government who don't actually have a budget / procurement process for the solution. You're just at the mercy of whether someone can actually be arsed to make the purchase, and doesn't get sidetracked by other issues.

Three years ago I was convinced that this business could make a difference in an important area (I'll be vague and say its decarbonisation). Now I'm not sure I even like my customers any more.😱

I feel the same.

I’m exactly the same, really enjoy my job but I feel so sad at the thought of not lounging around all day watching telly and eating chocolate.

@blueshoes I think one step at a time is the only way. It is good advice.

I feel slightly better that I'm not alone in my feelings of dread.

@MrsMorrisey you are right, I know I'm fortunate to be able to work at home after years of working in office environments. The stress and responsibility is still huge though. More annoyingly, I work with people in other time zones too so they think nothing of scheduling meetings in our evening. It's a fine line, as I agreed that some occasional evening meetings were fine but sometimes it's 2-3 times a week until 8 or 9pm but I'm still online in the morning for 8:30am. Same too with lunch, there's often barely a window without meetings.

I'm going to try (easier to say than do) to take 30-60 mins 3 times a week for a walk or cycle outside (I have no excuse other than time and work pressure not to do this as I live in the countryside and kids are at school then). I have an exercise bike in my office but it's just not as mentally good as getting outside and I passionately hate it.