part time nanny dictates what she wears in my house.

[lemonstrawberry]

I have a part time nanny I use every now and again. My daughter has really weak immuniology. When she comes after having travelled on public transport squishing with all the other commuters, I ask her to change into a clean set of clothes. When she finishes, she can just leave with the new set of clothes she is wearing.

However, she changes into like sleepwear jim jams pyjama type clothing because it is comfortable. Then when she leaves, she has to change back all over again. I asked could she just change into something like. a tracksuit or top and bottoms, but no, she likes her pyjama style clothing ! Which you would NOT wear out in daylight. We live in a high rise, and if there was a fire alarm etc, then she would go get changed again.

She is angry at me for telling her to just stop all this changing back and forth, and now is messing around and told me last minute that I can go to an agency to hire a. stranger. I am really annoyed because she is the one who wants to be my friend these past two years, and I have paid her above the hourly rate, and always paid her several hundreds of pounds in advance when she didn't have money. She is in her 60s..but honestly, it won't be easy for her to find work. But I feel like hey, it'ss my home, and I am paying you to provide a service.Time to look for another one.

You say she wears "pyjama-style-clothing", but maybe she doesn's consider them PJ's? Maybe those clothes are not your style but still perfectly acceptabel socially? Can you show us a picture (from a seller site or such) of the type of clothes she wears, so we have an idea?

Because on several occasions before, she came directly to the house after visiting her son, and her son smokes. Her clothes were stinking of smoke, and she needs to put my child to sleep or likes to snuggle up to the nanny when watching TV.

So first of all you said you make her change because your daughter has a compromised immune system and you don't want her bringing in germs from public transport. Now you're saying it's because she smells of smoke. Which is it?

If you ask someone to change their clothes when they come into your home, you don't get to decide what they change into. You're insane.

Yes you’ve answered your own question. But before you get someone else clarify to yourself exactly what you want the Nanny to wear, make it clear when you engage the Nanny and discuss type and size and then provide two sets.

It sounds like this is a casual arrangement (part time, now and then) with no contract, no set hours.
If you wish to set out contractual obligations then your friend is right; go through an agency and employ a registered nanny.
You’ll also have obligations as an employer.

Your daughter’s health hasn’t been compromised by this person’s attire. You haven’t even specified what your dd’s diagnosis is or used a correct medical term.

What exactly is your concern here?

This sounds like a mother’s health anxiety and need for control manifesting itself in a fixation with clothing.

Covid is airborne. You don’t get it from clothes!

But you gave your child’s immune system as the reason for the fuss about clothing. So what is it? I think this is a made up post to wind up everyone up. Cheap thrills.

Is it the Norland uniform?

If she's more relaxed in her pj's surely that's a good thing means it feels more homely for the kid. You carnt tell people what to where unless you have a uniform for her which is a bit degrading as she's a friend turned nanny. Honestly you could just be greatful she even changes as I'd find that so weird.

Surely pyjamas are the best option. Mine have never been worn outside the house, are cotton so can be washed in hot water, and are cheaply and easily replaced if necessary. My house is smoke-free.

If I were to bring tracksuit trousers and t-shirts, they would have been worn outside and could have fumes or smoke deep in the fibres. I think she’s being very considerate wearing the pyjama sets.

Well, maybe your nanny doesn't feel comfortable leaving your house, walking,in the street and using public transport wearing a tracksuit and a top? I wouldn't. You say she's 60+, well so am I.

You could always pay a Norland Nanny if you want her to be dressed like a "Nanny". They only cost £1000 - £1500 per week.

This has got to be made up! 🤣

You sound like a controlling nutcase!

To be honest she sounds like an ordinary older lady that your child likes having around, that's what you need to concern yourself with,let them get on with having fun.