To be angry that my family banned me from Christmas for having covid

[tantrumingcoldchild]

I flew 4000 miles to see my parents for Christmas. I unfortunately have to live in a different country from them.

I am asymptomatic but had to test due to being exposed to someone with COVID.

My parent was supposed to pick me up from the airport but decided not to after the positive test.

I see my parent once a year at most. They don't travel to see me. My parent and the rest of their family went ahead with the celebration but I was uninvited.

Fortunately, my other parent picked me up and let me stay with them (my parents are divorced)

They have agreed to meet me in a park tomorrow for an hour, which will be the extent of my time with them for the next year.

AIBU to consider this relationship basically over?

I’m finding it relentless too. Covid seems to trigger a lot of vitriol.

I would not cut contact with your parents based on this alone (massive overreaction) unless there is a significant backstory.

I’ve had flu. Flu has not left me with breathing problems.
the vaccines certainly has not left me with breathing problems and loss of smell.
it may not have been bad for you, but don’t spread rubbish when for others it has been horrendous!
I would take the flu over Covid any day

I am surprised at how many people think it’s normal to not offer to assist your tired daughter and grandchild post-flight to find accommodation and then not to contact them at all for three days. That’s quite worrying really.

Anyway I have learned that I am happy to occupy the middle ground during this pandemic and keep my mouth shut. Get vaccinated and obey the rules but live life to the full between lockdowns and not bicker about people who met up in groups of seven and not six etc. OP’s parents are clearly part of the covid-terrified crowd and acted accordingly. My 80y unwell parents would have insisted I stay and would want to take that risk in order to see me and my child. Don’t know if that’s cultural ‘family’ thing. Who knows.

Fear of covid has ruined the final years of many elderly and vulnerable people. That’s as sad in my view as the Covid death toll. A crap situation all round.

What a ridiculous comment

Why come on here asking a question if you don't like the answer. The majority of people think you should not have visited with covid. Your parents are in their 60s and relatively healthy, this means they are at risk! You seem very selfish.

Yes it has shown who are the selfish ones. The ones who have no issue with infecting other people with COVID.
You do realise vaccines don't prevent you from catching COVID? And no vaccine is 100% effective.

I know that if my daughter lived in another country and had flown over and brought my grandchild too, I would go and pick them up and look after them COVID or flu or cold.

Just to give the other side of the story, my darling DD came home for Christmas and
didn't feel well, but left on 28th December. After that I felt I'll and tested positive for Covid. I now can feel it in my lungs.

However, if I'd known she'd got it I'd still have welcomed her with open arms and taken the risk.

What was the point of vaccinations if everyone is acting like they haven’t had one.

So what was the point of getting them

My mum caught a virus before Christmas. I'd been to New York visiting a friend. She asked me to test. I was negative, she was negative but poorly. I caught her virus. I could have avoided her, but she's 83yo and I have no idea how many more Christmases she will see (or I will see for tgat matter as tomorrow isn't promised). Had either of us caught covid, we would not have seen each other.
I think you ABU, I know you spent money and they didn't help you find an alternative place to stay, but is it worth throwing the relationship away? Unless this is how tgat parent treats you all the time.
Your other parent did help, so thankfully you were looked after.

Only you can decide if this is the straw that broke the back of this relationship.

Good luck x

Agreed.

I really can’t imagine leaving my child and grandchild stranded at an airport after they’d flown thousands of miles and spent thousands of pounds to see me.

Sorry that was meant to be a reply to @Taxistaxing

Well one parent stepped up, so it's safe to assume OP will keep in touch with that one.

^
This.
And I must add that I wouldn’t want to risk infecting my parents, why would you want to risk making your parents unwell?

A member of my family arrived home from Australia in the summer, they had spent COVID in Australia and had absolutely no comprehension of the awful time that we have endured. They too arrived with COVID and were persona non grata until they’d tested negative. They stayed in a caravan as nobody wanted them in their home, our family’s age ranges from 1 to 83 years.

I totally understand them not wanting to see you.

I think it's clear herd immunity isn't working with COVID. How many times have people caught it (sometimes weeks after the last infection) even after being vaccinated?

I also spent an inordinate amount of money to see parents overseas and I can completely understand your the pint of view of your scared parent. I am assuming the parent Must be 70 at least and therefore vaccinated or not vulnerable. I hope you can find some compassion for their point of view

People tend to use their own anecdotal experience of COVID ("I caught it and I was FINE") and not give a second thought that it could be life-threatening for others.

Thank you @SnackQueen that’s really kind xx

I've read most of the thread and all of the
OPs replies. I think the root of this is that the OPs parent has a long history of disregarding/dismissing them. In this instance the COVID is almost a red herring.

I can totally understand the parent not wanting to catch it (I've had it recently and it was brutal, despite my three vaccinations), and I'm sure if this hadn't come off the back of a lifetime of being disregarded, then I'm guessing that the OP would probably be more understanding.

And whatever the circumstances, I'm not sure I'd have messaged my child to say "don't come here" and then left them to get on with it after a 4,000 mile trip with my grandchild. That's really shitty behaviour.

So, IMO, six of one and half a dozen of the other, as my Nan would say.

I think all those Covid scaremongers on this thread are rather hypocritical.

If OP's family are so worried about catching Covid they should self isolate indefinitely. After all most people don't get a positive test for several days while being infectious until finally they do get one. Even if OP's family tested negative before their celebration they could still have it and pass it on. By socialising they are taking a risk, any of them could have covid or indeed the flu, Strep A or something else. BY socialising they increase the risk of spread and, following the logic of some over the top fear mongers be a burden on the NHS or whatever foreign health system they may be part of.

Only a matter of time now until this thread will be quoted in the daily fail. 😝

It's fear mongering, just like in 2020 and 2021. Utterly stupid.

I would be angry too and probably wouldn’t bother seeing them again. There is no way I would turn my daughter away at Christmas, whatever illness she may have. I am her mum and will always put her first. I’m bemused that others don’t feel the same way.

If OP's family are so worried about catching Covid they should self isolate indefinitely. Totally. They shouldn't take the risk of visiting the OP and getting covid on the way there, like she did. This means that they will likely not see each other again, ever.