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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend being CF or I’m tight?

286 replies

PandorasBoxers · 30/12/2022 22:16

I genuinely don’t know if IABU here. For context I grew up very poor and while this made my DB extra generous it made me really fearful of being cold or hungry again.

DB died 6 years ago with no partner or children and left his house to me, his only sibling. I didn’t want to live in it but couldn’t get rid of it and the things in it because I was so sad.

my friend asked to move in to it and she’d pay a small rent (£100 pm for 4 bed new build in SW England) in exchange for not touching the big pieces of furniture and this worked great for both of us. She cleared most things over time with my permission and really helped me. She has made it her own and it’s nice to see it as friends and not have sad thoughts attached to it.

in spring we decided to move house as we wanted to ttc and realised the extra property isn’t helping as second home stamp duty is expensive and my friends home/rental wasn’t being run as a money maker.

I said to my friend that by January 2023 I’d need to run it like a real rental and this gave her 6 months (when I found out I was pregnant). It’s on a ‘new’ estate - everything’s 8 years old but up to scratch, so this wouldn’t have been too much extra work for me as I already paid for things to be fixed if they broke. I was asking that she pay £600pm which is still below normal but massively more than she was used to. She knew the reasons I had to do this. It would also have been better for me to sell.

I received a text a couple of days ago from friend to say she’s moved out. She gave no warning and has taken the fridge, freezer, washer, drier and some furniture. None of those things were hers. The walls have been bashed due to the move too.

She’s left rubbish in every room and old things she didn’t want. The garden is strewn with rubbish she clearly couldn’t fit in the van she’s hired to move.

if I was BU I’ll listen but I am so upset that she did this and only let me know at the last minute.

I work full time and a part time job and was hoping to take a years maternity and had counted on the rent (about £450pm once fees/taxes come out) so I could go part time after.

OP posts:
Dogsogdog · 30/12/2022 22:17

She’s a cf and you need to ask for your stuff back

Foxgluv · 30/12/2022 22:19

Cf

Sunsetintheeast · 30/12/2022 22:20

CF and a bitter one too

iamthesparrow · 30/12/2022 22:20

I'd tell her to put your fridge/furniture etc back within 48hrs or you're calling the police and reporting it as a theft.

lemonybiscuits · 30/12/2022 22:20

She sounds unpleasant and has obviously left you a bit of work in clearing the house and expense with getting rid of her stuff. Not to mention the presumably lost friendship after you'd helped her out with really cheap rent. However the way I'd look at it is, she is out of the house and you can now rent it out for the standard market rate. She could have stayed in the property and really messed you about for months and you could have needed to evict her.

Tinkerbyebye · 30/12/2022 22:22

Tell her she returns everything by a date and if not you will be reporting her for theft

shes a CF

why not see if you can rent via a agency if you want to have the income, otherwise perhaps now is the time to sell, hard as it maybe

Yaslana · 30/12/2022 22:22

iamthesparrow · 30/12/2022 22:20

I'd tell her to put your fridge/furniture etc back within 48hrs or you're calling the police and reporting it as a theft.

This is all you can do

or you can meekly ignore it and tidy the place up and get ready to relet or sell

ImBlueDab · 30/12/2022 22:22

Wow yanbu at all. Ask her for your property back, she's essentially stolen from you

limitededitionbarbie · 30/12/2022 22:23

iamthesparrow · 30/12/2022 22:20

I'd tell her to put your fridge/furniture etc back within 48hrs or you're calling the police and reporting it as a theft.

Absolutely this. She obv feels annoyed now as what was a favour to her has now become her feeling entitled to it and your the unreasonable one to her.

amiold · 30/12/2022 22:23

Some friend she is

Tell her she needs to put everything back and clean up her mess and remind her how little she had paid without causing damage. Take it further OP it's a joke

NoDairyNoProblem · 30/12/2022 22:23

She’s not a CF, she’s a thief and a selfish bastard to boot!

MuhMuh · 30/12/2022 22:23

CF.

StopFeckingFaffing · 30/12/2022 22:23

She clearly isn't a real friend if she has stolen furniture and white goods from your house

Wayk · 30/12/2022 22:25

Please call the police, this is theft. Appalling behaviour on her part.

Puppers · 30/12/2022 22:25

She wasn’t unreasonable to move out so I don’t think you can blame her for that but my goodness - literally everything else you’ve described is not a friend; it’s a person taking advantage of someone who is grieving. She sounds dreadful.

Did you declare the rental income and pay tax on it? If so, and everything was above board then you should consider calling the police to report the items she has stolen or take her to small claims court.

Fleur405 · 30/12/2022 22:25

She’s a CF. also look into the additional property tax. If you are selling your principal residence and replacing it with a new principal residence I’m not sure you have to pay the tax.

Interestquestion · 30/12/2022 22:26

She sounds foul.

on another note, I believe if you’re moving your main residence, you don’t have to pay second home stamp duty. You have to if you buy a second home for instance if you bought an additional home for yourself or a btl but not if you sold your main residence and bought another.

RegularNameChangerVersion21 · 30/12/2022 22:26

No she's not a CF she's a fucking thief. You've let her live almost rent free and she's stolen large and possibly sentimental pieces of furniture from you because she doesn't get to continue with the free ride forever and left a load of rubbish for you to pick up? She needs to return your stuff and I wouldn't be speaking to her again.

Interestquestion · 30/12/2022 22:26

Crosspost!

poefaced · 30/12/2022 22:28

You need to demand your stuff back / call the police for theft.

And never mix with friendship with property.

Dacquoise · 30/12/2022 22:29

She's actually done you a massive favour by moving out as your arrangement without a formal tenancy agreement would have made getting her out near impossible if she refused to go of her own accord. Also you have to abide by safety rules and provide gas certificates, electric testing and possibly get a license from the local authority.

She's not been a great friend. Make sure you are protected with a tenancy agreement and a deposit for any future tenancies.

Sunshineismyfriend · 30/12/2022 22:29

She’s a CF. Don’t forget to change the locks!!!

homeishere · 30/12/2022 22:29

Leave it and move on. The price a lesson worth learning. You’re friendship and generosity was worth a fridge and a sofa.

Then list and sell the house. It’s just bricks and mortar and if this tenant has left you upset, others will in the future.

PinkiOcelot · 30/12/2022 22:30

Wow OP. You are far from tight. Your “friend” is not your friend. She’s had an easy ride for a long time. £100 per month is nothing.

I would be getting the stuff that she’s stolen from the house, back. She’s certainly shown her true colours.

BloomingXmas · 30/12/2022 22:30

Change the locks immediately.

I agree with @lemonybiscuits she has saved you a fortune in eviction fees.