Friend being CF or I’m tight?

[PandorasBoxers]

I genuinely don’t know if IABU here. For context I grew up very poor and while this made my DB extra generous it made me really fearful of being cold or hungry again.

DB died 6 years ago with no partner or children and left his house to me, his only sibling. I didn’t want to live in it but couldn’t get rid of it and the things in it because I was so sad.

my friend asked to move in to it and she’d pay a small rent (£100 pm for 4 bed new build in SW England) in exchange for not touching the big pieces of furniture and this worked great for both of us. She cleared most things over time with my permission and really helped me. She has made it her own and it’s nice to see it as friends and not have sad thoughts attached to it.

in spring we decided to move house as we wanted to ttc and realised the extra property isn’t helping as second home stamp duty is expensive and my friends home/rental wasn’t being run as a money maker.

I said to my friend that by January 2023 I’d need to run it like a real rental and this gave her 6 months (when I found out I was pregnant). It’s on a ‘new’ estate - everything’s 8 years old but up to scratch, so this wouldn’t have been too much extra work for me as I already paid for things to be fixed if they broke. I was asking that she pay £600pm which is still below normal but massively more than she was used to. She knew the reasons I had to do this. It would also have been better for me to sell.

I received a text a couple of days ago from friend to say she’s moved out. She gave no warning and has taken the fridge, freezer, washer, drier and some furniture. None of those things were hers. The walls have been bashed due to the move too.

She’s left rubbish in every room and old things she didn’t want. The garden is strewn with rubbish she clearly couldn’t fit in the van she’s hired to move.

if I was BU I’ll listen but I am so upset that she did this and only let me know at the last minute.

I work full time and a part time job and was hoping to take a years maternity and had counted on the rent (about £450pm once fees/taxes come out) so I could go part time after.

Cheeky fucking thief more than anything

Thieving take the piss fucker rather than a plain old CF! When you e changed the locks report your stolen goods to the police. Take her to court.

You are the opposite of tight. But absolutely count your blessings that she is out and you can realise the value of your brothers legacy.

YANBU. Unbelievable after you letting her live in a 4 bed new build at a nominal rent when houses in the SW are in such short supply and she then steals your property. I would tell her she is a thief and report her to the police. Not sure whether they will do anything but as you have no tenancy agreement in place they may not be able to proceed. I would sell it as you then will not have to replace them and that will ease the financial pressures for you whilst on maternity leave especially if you are moving.

Change the locks immediately. And move on. You have not been tight you have been very generous.
She has been very very unreasonable but at least she is out of your house. Celebrate small victories.

My relative had very similar happen to her, she’d bought a small property as her husband was abusive and this was her plan to leave ( she was the bigger earner and got a mortgage easily ) Friend gave her a sob story, relative let her move in with her DH and 2 ds. They claimed housing benefit yet paid no rent, damaged the house… nightmare. You’re well rid.but let her know she has stolen items and send photos of the damage she left.
You did your best at a difficult time, so hopefully you can move on now.

Oh my love, she has never been your friend. £100 pm for a house! She's been ripping you off for six years!!!

As pp's have said, the good thing is that you can now rent it for a market rent - I think you'll be surprised by how much that is! I would tidy it up, replace the white goods on a credit card which you pay off with the first two month's rent, you can probably sort the walls yourself too. Get it generating proper money for you so you can enjoy your mat leave.

If she really is a friend she'd cone and sort everything out. Ask her, if she doesn't do that she's no friend. Sort it out and rent it properly or sell it.

Don't forget to note (and take photos) of all the meter readings - gas, electric, water ASAP.

Check phone / internet has been disconnected.
You need to get gas/electric/water into your name (any supplier), leave phone disconnected.
Any post that arrives for her, needs putting back into the postbox marked "return to sender, address unknown" unless she's given you a forwarding address. Do NOT open any of her mail or things that look like bills for her.
Keep a screenshot of her message about moving out so that if bailiffs later turn up for anything she owes others, you/the new tenants/the estate agents can show when she told you about moving out - especially if she continues to send things to the property after today.

When you hire a skip bill her for it. Plus threaten her with the small claims court if she doesn't pay up.
She is a total CF. If you're anywhere near my part of South west England then the rent on a 4 bedroom house would be over £1000 per month.

Wow that's terrible. I'd actually report her to the police, taking the property is theft

She’s the CF.
Sad to see how some people take advantage of generous friends..
furtfer, in a normal tenancy you are expected to give notice, but also to leave the flat in a clean state and only subject to normal wear and tear, tenants are certainly NoT meant to help themselves whatever furniture or white goods they fancy !!! Man up and text her asking for your stuff back and to please clean up the place or hire a cleaner and send her thd bill

She's not your friend; she massively took advantage of your grief and has now fucked you over to boot.

I'm so sorry.

This too. I thought you were going to say she wouldn't leave, so at least that's actually overall a positive outcome. You have been very generous and she is a total CF

Selfish cunt of the lowest order. So sorry this happened after you saved her thousands in rent. Do not spare her feelings. Get your stuff back and fuck her.

@KAYMACK

BU means being unreasonable.
CF means cheeky fucker

Probably best that she has gone, but she needs to return the goods she has stolen.

You keep saying this on every thread you comment on, even saying people who use abbreviations must be Eastenders-watching people [chavs].

You are clearly on a wind-up.

Change the locks and don’t worry about replacing the white goods if you are renting it out as you will be responsible for repairs and replacements otherwise, so cheaper for you not to provide them to tenants.

paint it through then get a letting agent to advise on any regulations like alarms and EPC etc, and give a rental value and find a tenant for you.

she’s no friend, you saved her thousands in rent and she treats you like this

Don't cause yourself any more strife. As others have said before me, change the locks, forget the loss of goods - write it off - and be thankful she's gone. The fact that she's gone has saved you a load of grief because trying to evict her would've taken months (at least).

She now has to find somewhere which is going to cost her at least 6fold what she was paying. There's a chance she will be in touch soon to grovellingly apologize and ask for "her" old house back. I think you know the reply.

Agreed. Same questions for months now, and yet no ability to retain the information…

As you had no tenancy agreement or legal proof of what was in the house I think you might struggle with proving theft.

I would change the locks and sell the house. Chalk it up to experience and move on.

@KAYMACK is obviously not a ‘scholarly type’

She is a CF! I’d like to see her find another lovely spacious home for £100pcm in the SW, you could easily get over £1200 plus for it at market value!