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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He's sent sick DS in

202 replies

WantedHisDayOff · 29/12/2022 07:09

For context my DS who is 2 attends nursery on a Thursday and has been sick for the past couple of days with a barking cough, snotty nose and temp.. While he seems ok in himself his cough is quite nasty.
He woke up this morning with a slight temp again - just under 38c and seemed under the weather but did perk up after my Dh gave him calpol.

I said I didn't think he should go in to nursery today, my Dh who is on leave until after New year's said it wasn't fair he wanted his day off, also because he's perked up after the calpol said he'll probably be ok but worst case if he's sent home early so be it.
He also said he would look after him on condition I finished early, which I said was ridiculous as he's got the day off and I'm supposed to be covering because of Christmas leave today and tomorrow.

I don't think this is fair on the nursery workers or other children who may catch it either.
AIBU to not take the day off when my Dh is on leave (and is being a jerk because this is his only chance to have a day without ds this week)

OP posts:
londonrach · 29/12/2022 07:11

When was he last sick and needs to be off 48 hours. DH looks after him. You can't send him in as he is. Poor child image if you felt ill and had to go to work.

RambamThankyouMam · 29/12/2022 07:11

He's a selfish arse.

Dogsgottabone · 29/12/2022 07:13

londonrach · 29/12/2022 07:11

When was he last sick and needs to be off 48 hours. DH looks after him. You can't send him in as he is. Poor child image if you felt ill and had to go to work.

The op said he has been sick as in poorly, not sick as in puking.

Nimbostratus100 · 29/12/2022 07:14

Obviously he cant go in

Beautifulsunflowers · 29/12/2022 07:16

DH needs to grow up and be a parent - we’ve all had to do this when children are poorly.

Overthebow · 29/12/2022 07:18

He can’t go in if he had a temperature this morning. I’m fairly laid back about sending DC in but that’s not fair on the nursery or your DC. At least tell the nursery when he goes in.

glittermoomoo · 29/12/2022 07:19

Annoyingly lots of people do this.

I can just about understand it if child is well in themselves and if parent has to work. But your DH is being a complete arse. Even more so that he's not willing to look after your child unless you come home early from work! I know how precious days off are but he's a parent now and this is the shit that happens.

watchfulwishes · 29/12/2022 07:21

He should not be sent to nursery, he is unwell.

Your husband is a twat, unfortunately for you and your DS.

Original poster
WantedHisDayOff · 29/12/2022 07:22

He's already sent him in, it's his only day without ds this week as he is looking after him on the rest of his annual leave days.
But I still think it's selfish and placing some of the responsibility on me, when I am supposed to be working and he has the day off already.
I understand it's difficult because he was looking forward to having a day to himself, but still think he should have looked after him.

OP posts:
Thedoglovesmemore · 29/12/2022 07:23

Your poor DS- he needs to be home on the lap of someone he loves getting regular meds and lots of cuddles.
And yes it’s hugely irresponsible to send in a knowingly unwell child to nursery for all the reasons you list.

Im not sure I could live with a man who values his day off work more than the welfare of his child tbh.

LynetteScavo · 29/12/2022 07:27

Yes, your DH should have kept your DS at home. This is a "thank heavens I already have a day off and don't have to juggle things" kind of a day, not a "I deserve a day to myself even though I'm a father" kind of a day.

Fingers crossed your DS feels OK all day, for his sake, not your DHs.

MissyB1 · 29/12/2022 07:27

He’s already sent him in? What time is it where you are??? He’s got a day off and not only sent his sick child to Nursery, but sent them before 7:30am??

I would be bloody furious!

Original poster
WantedHisDayOff · 29/12/2022 07:30

It's a nursery that allows early starts (7am) for key workers etc but you have to pay extra.

OP posts:
Overthebow · 29/12/2022 07:32

Go and get him OP, he really shouldn’t be in nursery today.

Whinge · 29/12/2022 07:34

WantedHisDayOff · 29/12/2022 07:30

It's a nursery that allows early starts (7am) for key workers etc but you have to pay extra.

Do nursery know your (D)H is not actually at work today?

Not only has you (D)H sent in a sick child, he's also making sure he gets the maximum amount of child free time by sending him in super early.

Your poor DS. Sad

KangarooKenny · 29/12/2022 07:35

So when the Calpol wears off your DS will be feeling ‘under the weather’ at nursery and unable to communicate that. Your ‘DH’ is a selfish arse.

Original poster
WantedHisDayOff · 29/12/2022 07:36

@Whinge

No they don't, hence why I am so furious.
I cannot drive but he can so I can't just go get him.
Also if I took today off there is no one else to cover as they have all booked this week off, so I am just screwing the team over.. It would have to be an emergency and it's not because my dh is off.

OP posts:
MissyB1 · 29/12/2022 07:39

Ok here’s what you do. Ring nursery yourself and tell them that if they have any concerns whatsoever that ds is under the weather, that Dh is home and will happily pick ds up anytime. Insist that they must ring Dh if there is the slightest concern.

SuperFly123 · 29/12/2022 07:39

Thedoglovesmemore · 29/12/2022 07:23

Your poor DS- he needs to be home on the lap of someone he loves getting regular meds and lots of cuddles.
And yes it’s hugely irresponsible to send in a knowingly unwell child to nursery for all the reasons you list.

Im not sure I could live with a man who values his day off work more than the welfare of his child tbh.

This. What a wanker.

Panic71 · 29/12/2022 07:39

With the current high rates of illness in children, I would be so cross if I was another parent or staff. It’s not fair on others.
I’m so sorry you are in this position.

Panic71 · 29/12/2022 07:40

MissyB1 · 29/12/2022 07:39

Ok here’s what you do. Ring nursery yourself and tell them that if they have any concerns whatsoever that ds is under the weather, that Dh is home and will happily pick ds up anytime. Insist that they must ring Dh if there is the slightest concern.

Great advice!

glittermoomoo · 29/12/2022 07:41

MissyB1 · 29/12/2022 07:39

Ok here’s what you do. Ring nursery yourself and tell them that if they have any concerns whatsoever that ds is under the weather, that Dh is home and will happily pick ds up anytime. Insist that they must ring Dh if there is the slightest concern.

Don't do that. The nursery don't want to be getting involved in this shit.

jputthekettleon · 29/12/2022 07:45

Our nursery don’t allow children in if they’ve needed calpol in the morning. He’s really selfish, so what his ‘only’ day without him. As I think you said yourself upthread (could have been another poster) - he should be relieved he’s off to look after him and not have to sort time off work. Newsflash - many of us have our children at home 16th Dec to 3rd Jan with nurseries and schools closed the whole time!

Whatmarbles · 29/12/2022 07:46

I would be incandescent with rage at your dh.

What a selfish arsehole!
And your poor, poor ds ☹️. When he needs his home comforts, love and cuddles, he has been dumped in nursery as early as possible. And I bet your dh has no intention of fetching him early either 😡

Has your dh indicated before that he doesn't really care about your ds, or is this a first?

glittermoomoo · 29/12/2022 07:46

jputthekettleon · 29/12/2022 07:45

Our nursery don’t allow children in if they’ve needed calpol in the morning. He’s really selfish, so what his ‘only’ day without him. As I think you said yourself upthread (could have been another poster) - he should be relieved he’s off to look after him and not have to sort time off work. Newsflash - many of us have our children at home 16th Dec to 3rd Jan with nurseries and schools closed the whole time!

Ours does at 2. But they want to know. So has DH told them about the calpol?

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