He's sent sick DS in

[WantedHisDayOff]

For context my DS who is 2 attends nursery on a Thursday and has been sick for the past couple of days with a barking cough, snotty nose and temp.. While he seems ok in himself his cough is quite nasty.
He woke up this morning with a slight temp again - just under 38c and seemed under the weather but did perk up after my Dh gave him calpol.

I said I didn't think he should go in to nursery today, my Dh who is on leave until after New year's said it wasn't fair he wanted his day off, also because he's perked up after the calpol said he'll probably be ok but worst case if he's sent home early so be it.
He also said he would look after him on condition I finished early, which I said was ridiculous as he's got the day off and I'm supposed to be covering because of Christmas leave today and tomorrow.

I don't think this is fair on the nursery workers or other children who may catch it either.
AIBU to not take the day off when my Dh is on leave (and is being a jerk because this is his only chance to have a day without ds this week)

My friend who has just opened her 2nd nursery says this drives her wild. They ask when was child last given calpol. Within hours the child deteriorates and the parents need to be called.

telephone nursery and ask them how he is, if appropriate get them to call dh and pick dc up to take home

The poor child is 2 and unwell. He should be at home with his dad, snuggled up and being cared for.

While ds is not overly unwell he's had to have his inhaler to help settle his cough.
Has gone straight down for a nap now so hopefully will sleep it off.
Nose been running like a tap all morning bless him.

As a nursery nurse, this is the thing that concerns and infuriates me the most, that your dh didn't inform the staff that your ds had paracetamol.

Say your ds spiked a temperature of 40 and became very unwell before the 4 hours had passed. The first priority would be to give the child medication, then contact the parents after. Sometimes nursery staff have to act fast and they don't aways have time to fanny about and call the parents first.

Your dh would be the first to complain if the nursery double dosed your ds.

I know this is an unlikely scenario but it can and does happen. Your dh is a massive twat.

What makes me angry is that you are so passive. You should have grown a pair of bollocks, had a spine, and said to Dh before he even took ds: No. shame on you.

@Oblomov22 if you read my earlier posts I said no then he snuck him out after I got back to work..

someone needs to explain to ops dh what being a parent entails

I thought you were locking yourself in the office to work?

How do you know his nose has been running all morning? Your (D) H shouldn't be bothering you when you're at work.

"What was I supposed to do in this situation? "

Are you for real? If you honestly don't know that's even more worrying.

@Whinge

I have been but do have to pop out to go to the loo, make a cup of tea you know.
I've only checked a couple of times while doing those tasks.
Also I have to get up and walk around every so often because of my sciatica.
So while I am not disturbed while working it's hard to ignore them completely.

That's a weak excuse. Dh snuck out? Then you need to communicate better beforehand and make it very clear that you are insisting he can't go. If you did that, made it very clear, and your Dh still took him, then you've got bigger problems that just today.

@Oblomov22

You just want to wave your pitchforks don't you. 🤔
It's ok. I'm having fun with it. 😂
I'm not going to explain myself anymore as I'm done with this thread now anyway.
Thanks all. ❤️

Was going to say as an early years worker you will definitely get a phone call as the calpol starts wearing off. We can calculate when roughly they last had calpol and can guarantee it was given to mask symptoms and perk a child up.

very selfish of your dh but was in no doubt he would be phoned.

Wow he is off but has sent his child to nursery poorly? Incredibly selfish, I would be fuming.

Jesus wept, he has the day off. Talk about missing the point.

Totally @Oblomov22 . It is ALWAYS the mother’s fault. Even when the father is lazy and decietful, it is still the mother’s fault. If she exists, it is her fault.

Did I read that right You work from home ? And you let him leave at 7am with your son? Your just asked bad surely ?

As*

I work in a nursery and this happens almost everyday sick children being sent In when they are clearly not well enough to be in. Unfortunately the children seem to take it in turns to catch whatever it is and it's very few days in a year where no children are ill. They will phone you if they feel he shouldn't be in.

Turns out you didnt read that right at all.

Yep, a surprising amount of illness starts to unfold around 10.30/11am in my primary 1 class. One parent completely refuses to ever admit her dc is unwell -ice cream for breakfast, went out with it a coat yesterday- he doesn't have tonsillitis honest, he burned his mouth with hot pizza! Honestly I've heard it all. Keep your poorly kids home ffs

@WantedHisDayOff just want to say ignore all the nasty comments pointing at you. You did nothing wrong. The world is not going to end just because your husband send in “a barely sick” (imo) child hoping for few hours or half a day off. I would let it goes honestly. Surely a lot of people here are overreacting and have gone mad after all the covid restrictions tbh.

All of this. Please talk about and plan a workable solution as parents for next time your pre school child is ill, as the nursery are unlikely to let you get away with similar future scenarios if it took just an hour before he had to be collected. Nursery are usually pretty experienced, and generally careful, at gauging whether they can power through or not.

When they're at nursery they will get ill a lot and unlike older kids, they're not faking - perhaps you've had a taste of this already. Another charming factor is that they often pass on the bugs to you, so you and your DH may also have to work while feeling utterly awful or make the call on being absent because you are not well enough to work and/or could infect your colleagues. That's how your son felt, but had someone else make the choice for him.

This