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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He's sent sick DS in

202 replies

WantedHisDayOff · 29/12/2022 07:09

For context my DS who is 2 attends nursery on a Thursday and has been sick for the past couple of days with a barking cough, snotty nose and temp.. While he seems ok in himself his cough is quite nasty.
He woke up this morning with a slight temp again - just under 38c and seemed under the weather but did perk up after my Dh gave him calpol.

I said I didn't think he should go in to nursery today, my Dh who is on leave until after New year's said it wasn't fair he wanted his day off, also because he's perked up after the calpol said he'll probably be ok but worst case if he's sent home early so be it.
He also said he would look after him on condition I finished early, which I said was ridiculous as he's got the day off and I'm supposed to be covering because of Christmas leave today and tomorrow.

I don't think this is fair on the nursery workers or other children who may catch it either.
AIBU to not take the day off when my Dh is on leave (and is being a jerk because this is his only chance to have a day without ds this week)

OP posts:
DriftwoodOnTheShore · 29/12/2022 07:48

He sounds vile, OP.

Doingmybest12 · 29/12/2022 07:49

Well I assume this isn't the first example of him being crap as a partner and father. I would be beyond furious and would be thinking about if I really want to live with this level of selfishness and lack of care.

Original poster
WantedHisDayOff · 29/12/2022 07:51

@glittermoomoo @Whatmarbles

No he's not told them about the calpol.
Also he is usually a very loving father and will book leave when ds is ill to look after him. But I think on this occasion he is justifying it by saying he seemed a lot better after the calpol and worst case they will send him home early.
I think he's a bit miffed that he has had to look after him all week as I have been covering, but I have to do that too!
We take it in turns normally.

OP posts:
Cantbebotheredwithchores · 29/12/2022 07:51

What a selfish arse your husband is! Why is he not concerned about your poorly child?
Could he not have a cuddly day with your little one if he's feeling under the weather. No way would me or my husband do that to our child! Yes he planned his day off but things always don't go to plan.
Your poor son and nursery workers!

Celeryfavour · 29/12/2022 07:51

If he had calpol at say 6.30am before going to nursery, it will have worn off by 10.30am.

RealBecca · 29/12/2022 07:52

He has been a shit head and you are both now letting your child suffer by being in nursery rather than at home. Disgraceful and I dont know how you can even look at DH. Ita not in your sons best interest is it.

When has that sexist pig ever finished his important man job early to come home so you can go for a coffee and chill because you feel like it?

Are you actually going to finish early to accommodate this? Because i am actually dumbfounded anyone would accommodate such selfishness.

Your son suffers, the staff suffer, the other kids and their families suffer, some of whom may work in hospitals or care homes, you suffer from a poor reputation at work for being unreliable, your clients, your colleagues, all because he wants his day off?

I just dont even know what to say. Raise the bar and dont allow this shit. He is a fucking arsehole and this is one of the worst threads I've read for a while.

Temporaryname158 · 29/12/2022 07:55

It’s poor he’s lied to the nursery not mentioning medication taken and also very selfish of him to not only send him in but to do so so early is awful.

You say he’s normally great but a man who is moody/jealous you have to work isn’t great at all. He should be helping you to work not adding to your stress levels!

Cantbebotheredwithchores · 29/12/2022 07:55

Miffed he has to look after his own child this week?
My little girl finished school nursery on the 23rd and she's not back until the 11th of January. I'm off because I've broken my leg! And guess what.... I'm watching my child! (Im not complaining about it btw, just because I'm off I don't expect anyone else to look after her as she's mine) Husband is working between Christmas and new year.

glittermoomoo · 29/12/2022 07:55

He can take next week off then when nursery is shut coz the staff are too ill

Original poster
WantedHisDayOff · 29/12/2022 07:57

@glittermoomoo

Will laugh when this happens. 😂

Also he is the only one with annual leave left!

OP posts:
SuperFly123 · 29/12/2022 07:59

RealBecca · 29/12/2022 07:52

He has been a shit head and you are both now letting your child suffer by being in nursery rather than at home. Disgraceful and I dont know how you can even look at DH. Ita not in your sons best interest is it.

When has that sexist pig ever finished his important man job early to come home so you can go for a coffee and chill because you feel like it?

Are you actually going to finish early to accommodate this? Because i am actually dumbfounded anyone would accommodate such selfishness.

Your son suffers, the staff suffer, the other kids and their families suffer, some of whom may work in hospitals or care homes, you suffer from a poor reputation at work for being unreliable, your clients, your colleagues, all because he wants his day off?

I just dont even know what to say. Raise the bar and dont allow this shit. He is a fucking arsehole and this is one of the worst threads I've read for a while.

☝️

Galvia · 29/12/2022 08:07

glittermoomoo · 29/12/2022 07:55

He can take next week off then when nursery is shut coz the staff are too ill

Exactly this. Due to people like your husband sending children in when ill, I am only just starting to feel well enough to enjoy Christmas now. All my preschool staff have been unwell with various bad colds, chest infections, shingles, headlice,
scarlet fever to name but a few. If your child is unwell please keep them at home. Settings will close due to staff illness which is a lot more inconvenient to working parents than having an unwell child at home on a planned day off.

Lindy2 · 29/12/2022 08:22

Once the calpol wears off in 3 - 4 hours you will very likely get a call to collect your poorly son. The nursery staff, by the timings, will almost certainly suspect your son was given calpol and sent in when sick. Make sure your DH is around to go and collect him.

If a child needs calpol or other medicine to mask illness symptoms and manage to get into nursery then they are not well enough to be there.

Let's hope not too many other children or staff catch your son's illness this morning.

ASCADHDBAME · 29/12/2022 08:27

How selfish of him. We've all been there when you want a day off but things go tits up, it's tough luck!
I think you should be ringing him and asking him to go get your toddler at midday at least so he doesn't have to suffer, the calpol will have worn off and if nursery don't know he's had some he will just be there feeling grotty and in pain. It's not fair on him especially when there's no need as DH is off

Ivyonafence · 29/12/2022 08:28

You're really bombing your reputation with the nursery as well. They'll know exactly what's happened when DS goes downhill 3-4 hours after drop off.

GyozaGuiting · 29/12/2022 08:30

Your poor DS will most likely feel awful with a temp at nursery, I know I feel terrible with a temperature. Your husband needs to stop being a dick. Sorry Op.

Original poster
WantedHisDayOff · 29/12/2022 08:31

Well I've just had a call to say please can you collect ds as he has a bad cough and doesn't seem himself this morning.
Dh had just slipped into his lounge wear on the sofa so I felt quite smug telling him to go pick him up!
Hopefully he will think twice next time ds is sick..

OP posts:
Imysmc · 29/12/2022 08:31

And this is exactly why my daughter doesn't go to nursery. Selfish arseholes like your "D"H.
Your poor child too having to suffer all day poorly cos his own father doesn't want to look after him.
I would be giving him the boot tbh

Slimjimtobe · 29/12/2022 08:32

It say a lot about him that he would rather lie on the sofa than care for his little boy

Whinge · 29/12/2022 08:34

Hopefully he will think twice next time ds is sick.

Of course he won't think twice. If he actually cared about his son he wouldn't have sent him in the first place. Sad

Deckthehallswithbenandhollly · 29/12/2022 08:36

Do not come home early OP.

grievinggirlneedsadvice · 29/12/2022 08:36

Yeah, I thought the nursery might call, DD goes to two (outdoor and indoor) and both are laid back for snotty noses and an occasional cough but are very sensitive to temperatures and noticeable changes in behaviour, which is when a child should be able to rest at home anyway!
Hope he gets some non-sulky comfort from his dad!

scooobie · 29/12/2022 08:37

Your husband is a selfish arse.

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 29/12/2022 08:39

WantedHisDayOff · 29/12/2022 08:31

Well I've just had a call to say please can you collect ds as he has a bad cough and doesn't seem himself this morning.
Dh had just slipped into his lounge wear on the sofa so I felt quite smug telling him to go pick him up!
Hopefully he will think twice next time ds is sick..

are you working from home? I dont see your dh letting you work today tbh.

Purplechicken207 · 29/12/2022 08:39

@WantedHisDayOff barking cough as in croup? If so he needs to see a GP, who will provide a single dose of steroids. And the virus most commonly causing croup is really very infectious. Not nice if little ones catch croup - my 10mo had it recently, miserable, breathing problems, temp, all for a few days