He's sent sick DS in

[WantedHisDayOff]

For context my DS who is 2 attends nursery on a Thursday and has been sick for the past couple of days with a barking cough, snotty nose and temp.. While he seems ok in himself his cough is quite nasty.
He woke up this morning with a slight temp again - just under 38c and seemed under the weather but did perk up after my Dh gave him calpol.

I said I didn't think he should go in to nursery today, my Dh who is on leave until after New year's said it wasn't fair he wanted his day off, also because he's perked up after the calpol said he'll probably be ok but worst case if he's sent home early so be it.
He also said he would look after him on condition I finished early, which I said was ridiculous as he's got the day off and I'm supposed to be covering because of Christmas leave today and tomorrow.

I don't think this is fair on the nursery workers or other children who may catch it either.
AIBU to not take the day off when my Dh is on leave (and is being a jerk because this is his only chance to have a day without ds this week)

I'm glad the nursery is sending him home, but it should never have come to that. Different if a child takes ill while there. Poor wee lamb.

Some nurseries give calpol themselves. He's been massively irresponsible not telling them because they could have potentially given your DS a second dose!

@LorenzoVonMatterhorn

Yes I am working from home.
I have a lock on my office door so will be utilising it today.
I am a little worried about croup so going to see how ds goes but I think last time he had something similar we were told it would run it's course. Also lung issues unfortunately run in the family so most times ds is sick he gets a cough. 😔

What a selfish prick. Your poor ds being dragged to nursery when he should be resting. I'd show your dh this thread tbh

Going against the grain here. He's looking after him, he's prepared to get him if he gets worse. His decision.

Wow if they sent him home after the first hour he must have been really unwell. Your poor DS. You’ve probably also given yourself a bad reputation with nursery now too and they’ll be more cautious with illness with him in future.

Edit, I see he's been sent home already.

I would send mine in sick, obviously depends how sick. And I understand why your oh wants a day off. However, if he's only perked up because of the Calpol, he's not actually perked up has he. My nursery would ask did he give him Calpol and factor that in.

He shouldn't be setting conditions - you need to finish early. Would be fine if he could ask nicely if you would be not like I'll only look after him if ..

Being rung by nursery an hour in just confirms how awful your husband is.

I would struggle to even look at him I would be so angry at his lack of care for your ds.

He needs showing this thread if he still tries to justify his shoddy behaviour.

The NHS guidance says don't send children in when they have a temperature. Your DH is being very selfish. Poor child, he should be at home resting.

This!

I'm also amazed and jealous that your nursery is open. Mine closes for two weeks at Christmas (not a school or term time only one).

It's really unfair to do the Calpol thing. As soon as it wears off, the temperature and unwellness will resurface.

Wow, he sounds like a terrible father. Poor DS.

You need to raise your standards and read him the riot act. Make clear that this is unacceptable and must never happen again. He shouldn’t have become a father if he isn’t even willing to look after his own child. The prick.

Am I the only one thinking below 38 isn’t a fever and can be sent in? Kids have coughs and snotty nose especially at bed time all the time when at nursery. If we keep him home whenever he coughs or snotty nose. He will stay hôm all winter. And nursery fees isn’t charity either.

When a child has a nasty cough and has been I’ll the last couple of days, why at all would you not keep him home when you’re on leave?

Op, do you have this period off sometimes? Or do you always leave it up to your DH? Hopefully, you’ll finish early and also give him a break during your lunch hour. Looking after an I’ll child can be relentless.

The OP said ‘just under 38” which is a fever. 37.4 isn’t but 37.9 is. There is a difference between sending DC in with a mild cough and snotty nose, which we do all the time in winter, and sending them in with a temperature and bad cough as the OPs household did.

Dont be so ridiculous. I work in a nursery and we get parents all the time telling us which parent to call if theres a problem due to work etc.

We also get children sent in more than you think with temps and then also got lots of verbal abuse when they are rung to collect their sick child because apparently we are paid enough and that's what we are paid for.

OP you're husbands a selfish dick but unfortunately he wont be the first and definitely not the last to do this. Nursery can't give your son anymore calpol till 4 hours have passed so I hope he hasnt lied about or won't lie about having calpol in the first instance should they phone him.

Carry on your working day as normal, your Husband is actually going to have to parent for once and deal with it and that includes collecting him if needed. And he doesn't get to call the shots and tell you he will look after his child as long as you finish early.

All best laid plans go out the window when children are ill.

So no concern for other children or the nursery staff then? This is such a selfish attitude. I work in a nursery and the number of parents who think it is ok to send their children in with a temperature is unbelievable. They give them calpol so child appears well when they arrive, three to four hours later child goes downhill rapidly. In that time they have coughed/sneezed their germs over numerous other children and staff. Thanks to selfish people like op's husband and the likes of you it seems.

"He'll look after him" ??? He's a dad right, not a babysitter...

He sounds like a terrible father, why did you have a kid when he can't be arsed to be a dad? Poor ds and poor nursery that will go round like a fire ball now!

Well they've just come home ds seems ok but has a snotty nose and his cough is still barking.
I said to dh don't expect me to look after him today but I might finish 1 hour early anyway if I want to and he said ok.
I reckon they sent him home because of the cough more than anything, but the calpol will wear off in the next couple of hours so we will see.

depending on the kid I guess. My son gets hot and sweaty when he sleeps especially after a cold the day before. So it’s hard to measure as soon as they wake up if it’s a fever or just temporary sweaty in the morning, especially anywhere around 37.5 mark. He can either be fine later on and gets worse few hours later. Unless my son has fever (38) and really unwell in the morning I would send him in and let nursery knows to watch out for him and call us if his fever goes up later on. And they usually do call and let us know even if he has no fever but seems slow and unhappy in the afternoon , we can decide if he should have go home early (usually will bring him home to have an early day at home since we both work from home).

and yes I will send him in if he has coughs (bad or not) because a coughs will take a few weeks to clear up. Definitely not willing to keep him home just for a cough.

Glad your DS is home. What an arse your DH is- would he like being forced out of the home if he felt unwell? Awful behaviour from an adult, especially as he was off anyway!!