To think how I discipline my dog is no-one else’s business?

[1Childand1Dog87]

I have a 3 year old dog, had him ever since he was a puppy. I am quite strict with him - he isn’t allowed to jump up at people, he isn’t allowed to approach other dogs without the owner’s permission, he is sent to his bed when the family eat so he doesn’t beg for food, he is told no when he touches something he shouldn’t like the children’s toys etc - and occasionally if I have had to tell him more than once about something (he has a habit of getting distracted when guests are over) then he goes to his bed for some time out etc.

Because of this, he is generally a really well behaved dog and I’ve never really had any issues with him apart from if he gets distracted and overwhelmed with loads of people or loads going on, he can struggle to concentrate on what is being said to him - but that is something that is a work in progress. In a normal environment he is very good at listening, etc.

The issues I have had however are with family members making comments every time I do put these boundaries into place - because basically they think he should be able to just do whatever he wants to do. Like an example from earlier today - his behaviour has been all over the place the last few days from being quite overwhelmed with Christmas and busy households - this is normal for him and will settle back down when everything else quietens down. He had something in his mouth that he shouldn’t have done and could have easily caused an issue to himself had he swallowed it - I told him to drop it a couple of times and he didn’t - so I VERY lightly tapped him on the nose and he dropped it straight away and went back to playing with his toys. I very rarely do that unless it’s something he needs to let go of right that second for his own sake and safety and he isn’t listening to verbal commands because of distractions etc rather than trying to drag it out of his mouth. But my family said I should have just left him and he might have dropped it eventually etc.

One family member has a similar dog and she lets him get away with murder and then constantly moans about it - he doesn’t let her sleep and rules the household basically - and yet she criticises me for actually having rules and boundaries with my dog.

Any advice for how I handle this situation?

Record her complaining about it then play it back to her.

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon honestly it’s every time I speak to them, the first thing I hear is oh that dog has had me up all night, yet they never take any advice from anyone or try anything to correct the dog’s behaviour… drives me nuts!

I was with you until you said you tapped him on his nose. That's honestly vile. You need to learn better ways of training a drop command that doesn't involve a physical punishment on one of his most sensitive areas.

I think personally you are making yourself sound a lot rosier than you are here OP justifying your overly strict ways especially if you have people pointing it out…..my dog listens to every command but I’m no where near that strict!!! And tapping her on the nose wouldn’t enter my mind and I’m struggling to believe it was a “light tap”

You can come and train my dog, please. DH had to once prise his jaws open while I pulled a fish head out out of them. I really don't see that a tap on the nose is going to do him any damage.

Blah blah blah blah.

You hit your dog. You're a terrible dog owner.

“Honestly vile” 🙄🙄🙄

I have boundaries with my labradors that other people mind. I don’t harm them and they are happy dogs. If I think one is making too much of a fuss with visitors; sitting on their foot or asking for attention by ‘nosing’ I send them to their bed. The visitors tend to say “Oh it’s OK” but I tell them the dogs have said hello and now they need to chill.

I reward good behaviour but never ‘punish’ my dogs. I would have offered a treat in exchange for the item already in the mouth. Tapping a dog on the nose can do damage in that delicate area.

Keep up the training with reward only. I love a well behaved dog..and dogs love boundaries.

Physical discipline is abusive imo. There is no need to do that, and of course people will dislike it if they see you doing that.

When you say you tapped him, do you mean you touched his nose, that's what I read that as? Or do you mean you hit him?

What you’ve described sounds like every good dog owner I know (with some variation on what the exact parameters are). If other people are commenting on it then I think you might want to reflect a bit on it. A seemingly well behaved dog that’s been over-corrected can develop a lot of behavioural problems down the line. I just can’t see people making negative comments about a well-behaved dog having clear and respected boundaries…

I was with you until you said you hit your dog!!! Please rehome him if you are incapable of training your dog without violence. You are abusing your animal and that's vile and should be criminal.

Was this a "tap" like the "tapped on the bum" excuse that parents who hit their children give?

It's like when parents say they "tap" their child's hands. They hit their children, you hit your dog, don't downplay it to make yourself feel better.

I agreed with everything you said until you said you tapped your dog on his nose.
Dogs noses are very sensitive and you should never hit them

Boundaries are good to have with dogs, but I sometimes think there's a thin line between having boundaries with a dog that is healthy and not treating the dog like a member of the family, allowing them to just "be" as they are.

I was almost with you until you mentioned the tap on the nose. There would have been another method of getting them to drop the item i.e. distracting with a treat or something like that. If I saw someone do that to their dog, and they tried to give me advice on how to train my dog or how to care for my dog, I'd not pay too much heed to what that person had to say. However, I also understand that there was a fear of him swallowing it and potentially choking which may have increased desperation and made you act in a way you wouldn't normally.

It does annoy me when people say 'it's fine, I don't mind' etc, we have a large breed and are working really hard to get him to greet people calmly etc so it is frustrating when people try to excuse him. We only use positive enforcement methods though, never hitting or punishing.

Only time I might use force would be to forceably remove something from his mouth that is not ok for him to have, but only by opening his mouth, never hitting.

This exactly . It doesn’t matter how lightly either . Would you like it if someone tapped your nose because you didn’t do what they wanted immediately . Sorry @1Childand1Dog87 you are a bully .

I was just about to say the same. Often when someone has hit or smacked a child they will say “I only tapped them”.

OP, even if it was genuinely just a tap, if someone in my family did that I would have to say that I didn’t agree with it. It’s unpleasant for the dog and unnecessary, if the dog wasn’t listening to the “drop it” command then you need to do more training.

Just like parenting it’s no one else’s business up to the point where you are hitting your pet or child.

I should add my dog is very well trained and well behaved , all achieved without smacking / tapping him anywhere .

If mine didn't drop something i may grab it from him
Or would offer something else so he did drop it but would not tap him- hit him

This

It was literally the lightest tap on the nose you could ever imagine - because he had a drawing pin in his mouth that had fell off the wall and wouldn’t drop it - and after that he dropped it immediately. It was more out of panic because I didn’t want him swallowing it - he has been trained the proper way since he was born - but when guests are round that encourage him to do all the things I’ve trained him not to do he then finds it hard to concentrate on what you’re saying to him

To add, if you have explained your actions were because of panic that he had something dangerous and acted on that I would have some sympathy. But you’ve excused yourself as if it is something you think is acceptable.