To think how I discipline my dog is no-one else’s business?

[1Childand1Dog87]

I have a 3 year old dog, had him ever since he was a puppy. I am quite strict with him - he isn’t allowed to jump up at people, he isn’t allowed to approach other dogs without the owner’s permission, he is sent to his bed when the family eat so he doesn’t beg for food, he is told no when he touches something he shouldn’t like the children’s toys etc - and occasionally if I have had to tell him more than once about something (he has a habit of getting distracted when guests are over) then he goes to his bed for some time out etc.

Because of this, he is generally a really well behaved dog and I’ve never really had any issues with him apart from if he gets distracted and overwhelmed with loads of people or loads going on, he can struggle to concentrate on what is being said to him - but that is something that is a work in progress. In a normal environment he is very good at listening, etc.

The issues I have had however are with family members making comments every time I do put these boundaries into place - because basically they think he should be able to just do whatever he wants to do. Like an example from earlier today - his behaviour has been all over the place the last few days from being quite overwhelmed with Christmas and busy households - this is normal for him and will settle back down when everything else quietens down. He had something in his mouth that he shouldn’t have done and could have easily caused an issue to himself had he swallowed it - I told him to drop it a couple of times and he didn’t - so I VERY lightly tapped him on the nose and he dropped it straight away and went back to playing with his toys. I very rarely do that unless it’s something he needs to let go of right that second for his own sake and safety and he isn’t listening to verbal commands because of distractions etc rather than trying to drag it out of his mouth. But my family said I should have just left him and he might have dropped it eventually etc.

One family member has a similar dog and she lets him get away with murder and then constantly moans about it - he doesn’t let her sleep and rules the household basically - and yet she criticises me for actually having rules and boundaries with my dog.

Any advice for how I handle this situation?

Poor dogs, what a life he’s got.

In fairness to the OP, the person she’s responding to did say that absolutely no living being should ever be punished. The point they were making was far more ridiculous that OP’s response to it.

OP, it is very refreshing to see a responsible dog owner.

Tou know your family member’s reaction is out of jealousy. So will a lot of replies on here from lax dog owners.

You’re being considerate of others ( and your dog) by training him so well.

@Ginsloth for the jumping up I don’t acknowledge him at all or give him any attention until he is either sitting or laying down and then he knows jumping up isn’t going to get him anywhere or anything

@Ginsloth he does also know the down command so sometimes I do have to say down then wait until he is sitting etc and then reward him with the attention etc

Exactly. Omg you're all batty she didn't hit the dog but acted quickly because he had a drawing pin in his mouth. The tap got his attention and he dropped it. You'd rather hear a story about emergency vet operating over Xmas on a dog who's swallowed a drawing pin.

No wonder so many dogs misbehave, it's always their owners. And there's a slew on here tonight. 🙄

@Ramsbottom I think he would have a worse life right now being on an operating table after a pin ripped his insides apart… but then again that’s just my opinion 🤷‍♀️

🤭

It’s not the first time either. Doing it rarely means this hitting on the nose has happened before.

I can understand wanting to train your dog to listen to you and be well behave but you should absolutely not tap your dog on the nose.

This is a sensitive area and doing this is totally inappropriate.

To the idiot who told me that tapping my own nose was nothing like the trauma a dog would experience if I tapped theirs - I just scritched my 12 yr old collie on the nose - like a gentle tapping scratch - and she wanted more! Just went and did the same to our 10 yr old lab cross, and she loved it too. Dogs' noses are very sensitive to smells - 10000s of times more than ours are, but they are not such delicate flowers that actually touching the nasal area gives them pain. A gentle tap does not cause them to writhe in agony, FFS. Some people seem to live in another world!

Who did your dog rape or kill that you tapped him on the nose as punishment?

Ha! I was about to ask the same question.

OP don’t worry there’s nothing wrong with a light tap on the nose. People have NO idea how to be firm with dogs these days and maintain boundaries. There are so many dick head clueless dog owners out there but you certainly don’t sound like one of them.

A world where we don’t hit our dogs and have an issue with those that do.

Oh wow op you are a fabulous dog owner! This is exactly the way I would train my dog if I had one! I'm not a huge fan of dogs because people don't train them like you, they just let them annoy other people because "it's cute" or "just what dogs do." 🙄 A well trained dog is excellent!

@Greenfairydust just incase I didn’t make it clear - I don’t use it as a training technique - I did it out of panic to get a sharp object out of his mouth.

I did this, with our Labrador, it wasn’t until I saw a dog trainer that I realised the very obvious mistake.
He jumps, either gets ignored until he’s calm or you say down and he complies with that and gets rewarded. There is no link in his brain here between the first act of jumping and the second act of sitting down and getting rewarded. He jumps, you say down, he gets down and gets attention/reward. He’s being rewarded for the “down”, and rightly so. But nothing about that reward is linked in his mind to the initial jumping. So, to him, he can jump, be told to get down, get down, and all is fine. You have to reward a calm greeting.
The same applies to ignoring until he’s calm and then rewarding with attention/treat, although a slightly less problematic approach, it’s still confusing for him. Look up positive reinforcement. Start with people he’s more familiar with first as it’s easier. Reward for a greeting with all feet on the floor and move on. If he jumps, leave the room, wait a few minutes and return, if he jumps do the same again. When you return and he doesn’t jump, reward. Reward good behaviour and remove any confusion about what the reward is for.
I hope this helps.

Quite. If any of the people howling about a tap on the nose had ever watching a dog using their snout as a shovel to fill in a hole they'd know how ridiculous they are being.

Inextremis that would be me. Honest to God, you obviously know you're wrong because otherwise why are you piddling on about rubbing your dogs nose instead of tapping as first discussed?

Educate yourself on why you shouldn't tap your dogs nose as a way of disciplining them and slink off. It has as much to do with the psychology of fog training as it does the pain and discomfort it causes them.

At least OP here has admitted it was done in a panic, which is something that can be fixed.

A world where we don’t hit our dogs and have an issue with those that do.

In what world does a tap equate to a hit? Please explain? You do understand what a tap is, don't you? Like if you were rambling on about something and irritating people, and I leaned over and tapped you on the wrist - would you fall to the floor screaming in agony?

@Ginsloth i didn’t actually know that - so thank you I’ll definitely take that on board - it’s so hard sometimes knowing the right way to do things because there are so many conflicting techniques around - but I will definitely give this a try so thanks again!

It depends on the dog. If I were to continually reward my dog with positive reinforcement I would have a problem on my hands. When I used it as my main tool he just came to expect it for everything even when he hadn't listened.

I've realised over the years that you need more than one technique and part of it is about knowing your dog. I know my boy gets anxious around other dogs sometimes - when I can see him feeling that way I know just maintaining eye contact helps him feel calmer. He also knows hand signals for stop, left, right and no. I find my biggest barrier to him behaving well is always the do-gooder / groups of people. Every time he gets a treat or reward for doing nothing, he then expects it the next time. The message here is that unless you see something abusive don't interfere. It causes more problems than it's worth.

You sound overly strict to me, poor dog, let him be a dog and have some fun in a nice environment

@BlueLabel - do you perhaps own Pomeranians? You made me laugh, cos my dogs are the softest, floppiest, happiest beings in this house, both snoring happily and about to go to bed with me - honestly they've done more damage to me (knocked a tooth out!) than I have ever done to them! Am now going to the aforementioned bed with the aforementioned dogs - night all - and OP, don't spend any more time worrying about it :)