To think how I discipline my dog is no-one else’s business?

[1Childand1Dog87]

I have a 3 year old dog, had him ever since he was a puppy. I am quite strict with him - he isn’t allowed to jump up at people, he isn’t allowed to approach other dogs without the owner’s permission, he is sent to his bed when the family eat so he doesn’t beg for food, he is told no when he touches something he shouldn’t like the children’s toys etc - and occasionally if I have had to tell him more than once about something (he has a habit of getting distracted when guests are over) then he goes to his bed for some time out etc.

Because of this, he is generally a really well behaved dog and I’ve never really had any issues with him apart from if he gets distracted and overwhelmed with loads of people or loads going on, he can struggle to concentrate on what is being said to him - but that is something that is a work in progress. In a normal environment he is very good at listening, etc.

The issues I have had however are with family members making comments every time I do put these boundaries into place - because basically they think he should be able to just do whatever he wants to do. Like an example from earlier today - his behaviour has been all over the place the last few days from being quite overwhelmed with Christmas and busy households - this is normal for him and will settle back down when everything else quietens down. He had something in his mouth that he shouldn’t have done and could have easily caused an issue to himself had he swallowed it - I told him to drop it a couple of times and he didn’t - so I VERY lightly tapped him on the nose and he dropped it straight away and went back to playing with his toys. I very rarely do that unless it’s something he needs to let go of right that second for his own sake and safety and he isn’t listening to verbal commands because of distractions etc rather than trying to drag it out of his mouth. But my family said I should have just left him and he might have dropped it eventually etc.

One family member has a similar dog and she lets him get away with murder and then constantly moans about it - he doesn’t let her sleep and rules the household basically - and yet she criticises me for actually having rules and boundaries with my dog.

Any advice for how I handle this situation?

What is your spaniel a cross with?

Do you mean the OP should outsource the training of her dog to a behaviourist?

Is that what people should also do with their children?

I was with you until the nose tapping tbh.

You can teach a dog a robust 'drop' command with positive reinforcement and without resorting to physically tapping them.

I have a well behaved, trained dog and it was all done with positive reinforcement. You sound like you've just scared your dog into doing what you want him to.

No problem. Spaniels are far more difficult to gauge than people think. They’re very smart and often appear to be misbehaving when it’s just who they are. They’re also really prone to a lot of things like anxiety or OCD so they can be quite easily messed up. I think working on genuine bonding is a good place to start and tactics for bringing attention back to you (stroking the nose or forehead, a hand signal or voice command depending on the situation). It can be concerning to think your spaniel is badly behaved because they tend to mature later than other breeds so they stay mischievous for longer. Just take a step back and you’ll be fine - try to focus on the positives. A big box of shredded chicken (or similar) and treats for being good - for staying in bed when you’d like, for being calm, for paying attention etc.

They’re not comparable situations, OP.
I feel like you’re clutching at straws to defend your actions.
Him struggling to concentrate in busy situations is understandable and I accept is something you’re trying to work on.
Your family told you what you did was wrong, because it was. I understand you’re saying you did what you did because you were worried he would swallow the pin. But it was wrong.
The right question to ask would be: I panicked when my dog was in danger and tapped him on the nose, what training can I do to better handle this kind of thing in future?
You can’t continue using tapping his nose as a method of getting his attention when he ignores you because he’s in a busy environment. It’s not fair on him.

I think the OP needs a behaviourist tbh and yes of course you do with children I have a 4yo non verbal ADHD child I took him to the go for a referral?! Of course I did as I don’t want them struggling with speech etc?!!

A professional dog trainer is a dog behaviourist. Every dog owner I know uses one. 🙄

I must admit it’s exhausting trying to get him to behave all of the time
Training isn't about getting them to behave, thats too abstract a concept for a dog. He doesn't understand what you want him to do.

Give him a job and reward him for doing it. Teach him to sit in his bed and give him something to chew. Teach him a meet and greet routine for when you have guests.

😂

@Ginsloth yeah and that’s absolutely fine - I understand finding a different way etc. But that wasn’t the point of my post - it’s that my family don’t agree with him being trained for anything - for example I am strict about him jumping up because he has caused scratches and stuff to the children before from jumping up etc and it’s not fair on them either - but my family just think he should be allowed to and there’s no harm to it - everyone is just focusing on this one thing when that wasn’t the point of the thread

You sound abusive and cruel. Punishing another living being isnt right, ever.

"Tapping" a dog's nose to enforce a drop command is pretty crappy, unintuitive training. So on that basis, YABU.

However, YANBU to enforce boundaries or to train your dog to be polite in company. I just think you should engage with some better ways to train animals, and that's where a good professional trainer - to train you to train the dog - can be invaluable.

Some of these commenters could do with a tap themselves.

@UnshakenNeedsStirring you should never punish another living being ever? Okay, go tell that to families where people have been killed, raped, tortured etc - I’m sure they will agree with you! 😅

They don't actually understand the word no. If you come into the room, and he's on the sofa and you don't want him to be and you say no, but you also say no if he's got something you don't want to have, them how does he know what "no" means, if you use it for "get down" and "drop"? Wouldn't it be better to teach "get down" and "drop" commands rather than just shouting no and hitting your dog on the nose?

You need to do some research into dog training before your dog learns that hands reaching towards his face means pain and he starts biting. Not great to have a dog that behaves through fear of pain.

It’s honestly so nice to hear from someone who is training their dog properly.

@Littlepuddytat I do use those commands and I’ve already explained more than once why he didn’t listen this time round - I don’t tap him on the nose all the time - to be honest I can’t ever recall another time when I did - normally I do use the appropriate training but he wasn’t responding and I panicked and wanted it out asap - so please give it a rest

Wow. And there's me with 5 adult dogs; all bar one - who just turned up one day and adopted us - from 8-10 weeks old and a 5 month old puppy (and having had dogs for 25 years) who's never considered a behaviourist. Yet they are all happy, very well behaved and much loved.

Bugger.

What an absolutely ridiculous comparison.

Clearly you can't take criticism, in spite of the fact that you opened yourself up to it by starting this thread and admitting to physically punishing your dog.

There's an old saying for that...can't recall what it is...something to do with heat...kitchen...get out...can't take...something like that.

It must be wonderful to be such a perfect pet owner. Aren't pet's part of the family?If she's accidentally scratching the children she obviously needs her claw's clipped.

CORRECT

Well at least you've admitted you hit him from panic and not as a valid training technique.

As a previous poster has very kindly advised you regarding your specific dog’s breed and over-training etc. do you not think maybe your family have a point?
I know of a couple of family’s who think they’re doing best by their dog by being very strict. The sending the dog to its bed when it’s done something wrong is something they also do. But that’s not a very effective way of training. Reinforcing good behaviour is much more effective than punishing “bad” behaviour. Quite often they won’t even understand what they’ve done wrong to be sent to bed.
When you say, for example, you’re strict about him jumping up, how do you mean? Do you take him away from the situation? Do you send him to bed? Do you raise your voice and tell him no? All of these things won’t make sense to him. The best thing to do is reward for paws on the floor. Everytime he greets someone and stays on the ground, reward.

@Wetblanket78 if you’ve ever had a dog or their nails clipped - you’ll know they are actually sharper for a while afterwards! 🤗 and yes he has them done every month with his groom but they are still capable of scratching someone but thanks anyway for the advice

Are you volunteering as tribute?