To think how I discipline my dog is no-one else’s business?

[1Childand1Dog87]

I have a 3 year old dog, had him ever since he was a puppy. I am quite strict with him - he isn’t allowed to jump up at people, he isn’t allowed to approach other dogs without the owner’s permission, he is sent to his bed when the family eat so he doesn’t beg for food, he is told no when he touches something he shouldn’t like the children’s toys etc - and occasionally if I have had to tell him more than once about something (he has a habit of getting distracted when guests are over) then he goes to his bed for some time out etc.

Because of this, he is generally a really well behaved dog and I’ve never really had any issues with him apart from if he gets distracted and overwhelmed with loads of people or loads going on, he can struggle to concentrate on what is being said to him - but that is something that is a work in progress. In a normal environment he is very good at listening, etc.

The issues I have had however are with family members making comments every time I do put these boundaries into place - because basically they think he should be able to just do whatever he wants to do. Like an example from earlier today - his behaviour has been all over the place the last few days from being quite overwhelmed with Christmas and busy households - this is normal for him and will settle back down when everything else quietens down. He had something in his mouth that he shouldn’t have done and could have easily caused an issue to himself had he swallowed it - I told him to drop it a couple of times and he didn’t - so I VERY lightly tapped him on the nose and he dropped it straight away and went back to playing with his toys. I very rarely do that unless it’s something he needs to let go of right that second for his own sake and safety and he isn’t listening to verbal commands because of distractions etc rather than trying to drag it out of his mouth. But my family said I should have just left him and he might have dropped it eventually etc.

One family member has a similar dog and she lets him get away with murder and then constantly moans about it - he doesn’t let her sleep and rules the household basically - and yet she criticises me for actually having rules and boundaries with my dog.

Any advice for how I handle this situation?

Very few people ever suggest sending a cat to it's bed as a way to dissuade them from doing something.

Funny that

OP nice to read about someone who believes in responsible dog ownership. If only all people were like you, perhaps fewer people would be injured by dogs and also less instances of cynophobia.

Aquasulis you've said it yourself, you don't tap them on the nose. If it came to forcing their mouth, it's because its an emergency and their training failed - forcing their mouth becomes the lesser of two evils by a significant margin. But it obviously isn't your go to and you train to avoid that

I think a lot of the posters in this thread have confused the message that tapping a dogs nose is wrong with dogs are fragile creatures that cannot stand physical play or touch. That's not the case - it's that their nose is an especially sensitive area and tapping (or let's just call the euphemism what it is, lightly hitting the dog) causes them discomfort, sometimes pain and increases the likelihood they'll come to fear hands near their face. Lots of the dogs I help with hate hands near their head, or move past growling to snapping and physical discipline is a factor in this.

It's in the "tell me you don't understand how to train a dog without telling me" list alongside:
*Belief in alpha dynamics
*Rubbing their noses in pee/excretement
*Whacking with a newspaper
*Using flexileads and a collar fastening
*Calling out "he's friendly" instead of recalling the dog
*Allowing the dog to jump over strangers and visitors

Lots of the dogs I help with hate hands near their head, or move past growling to snapping and physical discipline is a factor in this.

The nose tapping is a nice example of how this comes about...

The human thinks: if I tap his nose, the dog will know I don't like him having that thing in his mouth.

The dog thinks: if I let that human put their hand near my face, they might tap me with it.

First step in training a dog is to think about how you make sure the dog is learning what you think they are learning.

The problem with using physical discipline is that you risk the dog becoming touch aversive and disliking human hands. They don't understand why they're being hit on the nose, so over time, their thought process changes.

Hands by my face sometimes mean I get hit on my nose.
I don't like getting hit on my nose.
I don't know whether the hand near my nose is friendly or not, but I don't want to get hit, so I'll make sure it can't touch me by biting it. That should work.
It does work! The hand goes away and I don't get hit on my nose.
Therefore the only way to stop me from getting hit on my nose is to bite hands that come near me.

Many dogs are not taught no is not the same as dogs cannot understand no.

the latter implies to people they shouldn’t bother to try and many don’t… hence so many horrendously behaved dogs ending up in shelters when they become unmanageable or all these people who walk their dog on two leads in the dead of night as they’re actually frightened of it.

you teach them no right early on and then later you can add joining words
that they know.

For example teaching them to jump on command is easy as they are inclined as pups to jump when excited.
So once they have the word no and the word jump you can combine and give ‘no jump’ once you have taught them to bark/howl on command you can use speak/no speak

You have to decide what prompt word you’re using and stick to it consistently as they are recognising a sound/combination of familiar sounds you make rather than truly understanding you speak.

That said mine is a very smart working breed and yesterday when she got given a treat she took it outside to bury it in the rain. I called her back in and she stood with it in her mouth looking at the door and then me for ages (which would usually be enough to get the door opened) until I said (in normal talking to people voice) I’m not letting you outside to bury that, why don’t you go hide it upstairs and with a last forlorn look between me and the door went of upstairs and came down a few mins later I think she understands more than I give her credit for after 11 years by my side

I'm sure a light tap on the nose would have caused him a lot less stress and harm than having a drawing pin removed surgically.....

Or hookiewookie29 engage your brain and consider option 3: the dog is trained to drop on command.

Short-term, absolutely, but it should never get to the stage where you need to tap your dog on the nose to discipline them or get them to obey you.

Having to resort to that kind of behaviour tells me the dog isn't particularly well trained to begin with. Long-term, tapping your dog on the nose or face is a recipe for disaster.

Try telling that to the know it all do good perfect dog owners on here 😆

So much simpler to teach them 'fetch' and reward them for handing it over.

Think you are doing fine.......it's a pity that people don't use your method with their kids !!!!

What??

My first thought was that life for your dog doesn't sound much fun. But my dog isn't fantastically well-behaved, so what the hell do I know?!
Don't worry OP - I'm sure you're not the evil dog abuser you're being painted as.