To think how I discipline my dog is no-one else’s business?

[1Childand1Dog87]

I have a 3 year old dog, had him ever since he was a puppy. I am quite strict with him - he isn’t allowed to jump up at people, he isn’t allowed to approach other dogs without the owner’s permission, he is sent to his bed when the family eat so he doesn’t beg for food, he is told no when he touches something he shouldn’t like the children’s toys etc - and occasionally if I have had to tell him more than once about something (he has a habit of getting distracted when guests are over) then he goes to his bed for some time out etc.

Because of this, he is generally a really well behaved dog and I’ve never really had any issues with him apart from if he gets distracted and overwhelmed with loads of people or loads going on, he can struggle to concentrate on what is being said to him - but that is something that is a work in progress. In a normal environment he is very good at listening, etc.

The issues I have had however are with family members making comments every time I do put these boundaries into place - because basically they think he should be able to just do whatever he wants to do. Like an example from earlier today - his behaviour has been all over the place the last few days from being quite overwhelmed with Christmas and busy households - this is normal for him and will settle back down when everything else quietens down. He had something in his mouth that he shouldn’t have done and could have easily caused an issue to himself had he swallowed it - I told him to drop it a couple of times and he didn’t - so I VERY lightly tapped him on the nose and he dropped it straight away and went back to playing with his toys. I very rarely do that unless it’s something he needs to let go of right that second for his own sake and safety and he isn’t listening to verbal commands because of distractions etc rather than trying to drag it out of his mouth. But my family said I should have just left him and he might have dropped it eventually etc.

One family member has a similar dog and she lets him get away with murder and then constantly moans about it - he doesn’t let her sleep and rules the household basically - and yet she criticises me for actually having rules and boundaries with my dog.

Any advice for how I handle this situation?

In the OPs situation it was dangerous and it worked to get the dog to drop the pun, dog wasn't hurt in the process. It shouldn't be a regular training method but to avoid injury then I'm not sure that it's an issue.

No, not credit. I watch how the older animals discipline and socialise the younger animals but I am far more gentle - instead I use my voice and body language where they would use teeth. My point was, as a human, I try to copy the pack dynamic, reacting quickly to indiscretions and as quick to praise.

Mind you, the little fucker has just nicked a bow off the Christmas tree so more training required!!

But tapping him on the nose with it in his mouth could of caused what exactly? Seriously OP if I have to explain to you how dangerous that was in itself?! Should you really have a dog?? I don’t want to sound a bitch here but….you don’t make any sense.

I’m curious, is this dog a spaniel?

@DairyDiary he is a spaniel cross!

I wasn't commenting on your actual approach - just saying that I think we should all comment when we see animals treated in ways we disagree with.

On one of the yards I used to keep my horses on there was very much a view of "not my horse, not my business" and that allowed a lot of horrible things to go unchallenged.

I would much rather have someone challenge me on my approach to dog training (even if I thought I was right) if they thought doing so was in the best interests of my dog.

Inextremis of course tapping your own nose doesn't feel the same to you. You don't have a dogs nose. They have millions more smelling sensors and nerve endings than you do 🙄

I'd much rather anyone works on positive training techniques from the beginning so that in an emergency they aren't risking a startled dog swallowing something or teaching the dog to fear them.

Yeah, I was with you till you 'tapped' your dog on the nose. Using physical discipline of any level to control a dog's behaviour is not ok imo.

If it is nobody else's business, then why are you posting your business here?

I have never felt the need to hit my dog, however lightly.

@sageandrosemary you say you don’t agree with physical discipline at all to control a dog’s behaviour - if you had a dog and it was being attacked by another dog and was at risk of injury - would you not physically control the other dog then?

there are ways to train dogs and they are not sending the dog away when it’s naughty or hitting it’s nose. We have pets and they rely on us for love. I have excellent behaviour from my dogs. I love them and invested in an excellent behaviourist. You should try it

A dog attacking another dog is very different to having a drawing pin in its mouth.

Why are you so reluctant to accept you can do better than tapping the dog’s nose? You’ve had some helpful responses and you’re ignoring them to continue to defend your actions. If you genuinely felt that the only way to get your dog to drop the drawing pin was to tap him, he needs more training. You are the problem here, not the dog.

You've hit your dog and you’ve done it before. Of course you’re unreasonable.

Dont come here asking for advice if you can’t take it. Just go away you are cruel and don’t deserve a dog

I could tell by your comments. Yes, you’re being too harsh with him. I don’t want to pile on because I think you’re getting a hard time but a 3yo spaniel shouldn’t be well-behaved like this. You’ve over-corrected and need to sort it before other behavioural issues crop up later on. Your training style would be ideal for a more precise breed but spaniel puppies are like trying to train a jellyfish. Just try to cool it a bit, let him have a bit of personality. They’re prone to anxiety and you’re likely to induce that if you continue to expect the behaviour you’d get from a GSD (for example). Even the police can’t get spaniels to behave properly until they’re much older and they’ve mellowed a bit - sniffer dogs are nuts! If you have the dog walking in a straight line when on the lead (for example) then you’ve over-corrected and need to wind back.

@Ginsloth I’ve already said that he struggles to concentrate in certain situations and it’s something that is an ongoing process because of how he is - and so a dog being injured by another dog then it’s fine but not if it’s about to swallow a sharp object that could potentially end up with serious internal injuries… hmm okay!

Anger issues not just with your dogs I see.

Lol how are you comparing these situations here OP? This is the sort of issue you will create when your own dog turns because you’ve decided to start “smacking/tapping your dog” when you do things like that dogs loose trust then they turn nervous then aggressive!

@DairyDiary thank you for actually being helpful and writing it in a nicer way - I really appreciate it and will take a step back, I must admit it’s exhausting trying to get him to behave all of the time but I just worry about having a problem dog later on that is out of control sort of thing!

Stop hitting your dog on the face. Fucking terrible dog owner. I imagine someone said something to you because they are so uncomfortable watching you hitting a dog on the nose. I don't care if you call it tapping. It's still punishment for doing a very normal dog behaviour.

You also know that dogs don't understand the word no, and what a time out is, don't you?

Obviously she had to do something to make the dog drop the pin. Prying its mouth open would have been no less violent and unpleasant for the dog - and both of these options preferable to the pain it might have ensured had it swallowed it.

Dogs, like small children, have a limited grasp of language and of cause and effect, and sometimes we have to physically intervene to protect them (or in the case of our dogs, sometimes to prevent other creatures) from harm. For example my (very well trained, for which I take little credit) dog was excited to see my daughter after she had been away today and wanted to run across a busy road to greet her. I restrained him by holding tight onto his lead because in his excitement he (unusually for him) didn't immediately listen to my command to sit. He's big and very strong and it probably hurt his neck. But being hit by a car would have hurt a lot more.

This woman isn't saying she beats her dog whenever she feels like it .....

@Littlepuddytat of course dog’s understand the word no when they are trained, ever actually seen a dog before? 😂

This is a weird question. I don't beat my dc, but I would physically protect them if they were being attacked. Also, restraining an aggressive animal is very different from hitting an animal that trusts you.

@Stompythedinosaur I tapped my dog on the nose very lightly to stop him from causing a potentially serious injury to himself - to be fair it was so light he didn’t even care - just dropped the pin and went off to play - so no I don’t think that counts as beating a dog thank you very much 🤗