Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Made to sit on the floor on Christmas Day

214 replies

SeatlessAtChristmas · 25/12/2022 20:11

Not sure if I’m overreacting but I just feel so hurt. When I spend Christmas Day at my parents there aren’t enough chairs in the living room for everyone. This year I was left sitting on the floor all day. I’d hoped when we all went back into the living room after Christmas lunch I might get the opportunity to sit on the sofa but everyone else took their seats where they were previously leaving me to sit on the floor again. My sister, brother in law, mother, and aunt are all fit and able bodied and just as capable as me as sitting on the floor, but they just kept the comfortable seats for themselves all day. AIBU to feel so disappointed that on Christmas Day my family were just happy to see me on the floor all day?

OP posts:
Ostryga · 25/12/2022 21:51

Don’t you just bring a chair in, or sit on one of your family until they shift over and squeeze you in?

There is never any need to sit on a floor stewing and being cranky on Christmas Day

Pineappleskies · 25/12/2022 21:52

I wouldn't read anything into it at all. The floor is as comfy as a seat. It just doesn't matter at all unless you have some disability though???

melj1213 · 25/12/2022 21:53

LightGreenDot · 25/12/2022 21:30

How many of you saying it's down to OP and she should have said something would have let a family member sit on the floor all day without checking they were comfortable and offering to help get extra chairs/cushions or swap around?

Because in our family whoever sits on the floor is usually more than happy to stay there and if not then they either just get a chair from elsewhere (or ask the host eg if the dining room is laid out for dinner and you don't want to ruin the table settings then you'd just ask "Are there any other chairs or am I alright to grab a dining chair?') or speak up, even if it's just "Sis, can we swap please? My back/neck/knee is killing me sitting on the floor and I can't do it any longer".

I've been at my DB and SILs house all day where there were 5 seats in the living room and 8 adults (plus a 12yo, 7yo and 6mo) all day ... I spent most of the day sitting on the floor playing with the baby and was quite happy to do so, my 65yo dad was also more than happy to spend a lot of the afternoon on the floor building Lego with my nephew. After dinner, when the table had been cleared away, we all just brought the dining chairs into the living room for the evening so everyone could have a seat (couldn't do it before dinner as it was a tight space and risked knocking everything off the table)

In our family it's a case of "first come first served" for the chairs with it automatically understood that kids will sit on the (carpeted) floor to allow the adults to sit on chairs, mostly because they're up and down like yoyos so no point wasting a seat on a child, but if you get up for more than a minute or two then your seat is fair game - so if you pop to get Great Aunt Mary a new drink when her glass is empty, your seat is safe; if you disappear off to the kitchen to help with the cooking for 20mins, you take your chance someone will be in your seat when you get back.

The only exception is if an older/infirm family member comes in after you, in which case we all usually offer a seat or offer to bring a dining chair in for them and they choose the seat best for their needs (higher seat/firmer seat/armchair to help them get up etc) and the person in that seat moves and either gets another chair or just sits on the floor.

RagingWoke · 25/12/2022 21:53

I don't understand why you wouldn't just say something. It's family, surely if there's anyone you can chuck off a seat it's your sister.

Although, at our family Christmas no one was sat for that long you couldn't just get a seat. With 5 comfy seats between 6 adults, 3 dc, cooking, clearing, eating, fetching drinks and visitors in and out all day it's pretty easy to swap around. At some point everyone (except my 88yo dgm) was on the floor.
My brother will still just sit on me if he wants my spot. No silent seething needed.

echt · 25/12/2022 21:53

YABU.

You were not made to sit on the floor as your thread title says. It was an awkward situation but you could have spoken up.

poefaced · 25/12/2022 21:54

You should have hurried and nabbed a seat!

Don’t wait for an offer, people are selfish.

lifeinthehills · 25/12/2022 21:58

Maybe they thought you were happy there? I'd have said something. Then again, my back can't handle the floor for long so I'd either have found a way to get a seat or gone home after eating lunch standing.

Ladywiddio48 · 25/12/2022 22:01

I voted YABU,why didn’t you say anything? Surely nobody just sits on the floor all day and be silent about it! Stand up for yourself.

Mrsuntidy · 25/12/2022 22:03

They were inconsiderate but YABU for not opening your mouth to say you wanted a seat.

SaveMeCheezus · 25/12/2022 22:06

Agree with PPs. We were at SILs yesterday, 5 adults, 2 teens. 4 comfy places to sit in the lounge.

The teens & DH sat on the floor before lunch but at no point did anyone ask if they were ok or offer to swap, because there were 6 dining chairs not 10 feet away and all were perfectly capable of fetching one if they wanted to.

After lunch we did bring 2 of them over and DH and I sat there while the two teens squeezed themself into the armchair together.

Workinghardeveryday · 25/12/2022 22:08

RedHelenB · 25/12/2022 21:06

Could you not take a camping chair? I wouldn't visit relatives if I couldn't sit down all day.

Show quote history

Good idea, but we don’t have any 😬

Livelovebehappy · 25/12/2022 22:14

I would have rushed pudding then got back in the room before the others. Were you the last one leaving the table after the meal? Oe did you just plonk yourself back on the floor anyway?

petshihtzu · 25/12/2022 22:17

so rude of them! they should offer, they have no awareness

Greenalien1 · 25/12/2022 22:19

Id rather be on the floor with my own space than crammed on a sofa! I would have said something though if you were bothered xx

UsingChangeofName · 25/12/2022 22:24

YABU to sit there all day if you didn't want to, rather than just saying something and / or getting another chair to sit on and / or moving to their seat when someone left the room .

I can't understand people who can't speak to their own siblings / parents / close family.

PurpleButterflyWings · 25/12/2022 22:28
Confused
AiryFairyLights · 25/12/2022 22:30

So who sat on the floor last year? Are you really unable to either grab a dining chair or ask someone to swap?

bluebird3 · 25/12/2022 22:32

YANBU - of course you could have asked but it's very rude that nobody offered you a seat or checked you were comfortable the whole day. They were at the worst selfish and at the best inconsiderate.

curlymom · 25/12/2022 22:35

YABU because instead of saying something there and then you came here to moan about it

Readaboutyourself · 25/12/2022 22:36

YABU to not ask them to move or pinch their seat when they must have gone to the loo.

NewNovember · 25/12/2022 22:49

Can someone explain the back issue, have you all got bad backs or am I missing something?

Rewis · 25/12/2022 22:52

Did you sit at the floor when you had lunch? Or were there chairs? If yes, then you take one of those?

Goingforarun · 25/12/2022 23:01

Your silent seething will cause constipation.

PatientlyWaiting21 · 25/12/2022 23:02

I’ve spent the day on the floor, my parents and grandparents are also able bodied but they’re older than me and I’d rather they have a comfortable seat

katepilar · 25/12/2022 23:05

PinkyFlamingo · 25/12/2022 20:44

I really can't imagine anyone sitting on the floor all day and not saying anything at all, no-ones that passive?

What exactly are you trying to say? OP said she just did that an you come round and say no one does that?

Swipe left for the next trending thread