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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Made to sit on the floor on Christmas Day

214 replies

SeatlessAtChristmas · 25/12/2022 20:11

Not sure if I’m overreacting but I just feel so hurt. When I spend Christmas Day at my parents there aren’t enough chairs in the living room for everyone. This year I was left sitting on the floor all day. I’d hoped when we all went back into the living room after Christmas lunch I might get the opportunity to sit on the sofa but everyone else took their seats where they were previously leaving me to sit on the floor again. My sister, brother in law, mother, and aunt are all fit and able bodied and just as capable as me as sitting on the floor, but they just kept the comfortable seats for themselves all day. AIBU to feel so disappointed that on Christmas Day my family were just happy to see me on the floor all day?

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 27/12/2022 09:58

Tuilpmouse · 27/12/2022 08:49

Interesting responses. MN is usually very hot on victim blaming, yet none of the blame here goes to those who hogged the seats for their selfishness?

Not being given something you want doesn’t mean you’re a victim. If I sit around all day waiting for DH to make me a bowl of cereal without asking him to do it, I’m not the victim of abuse by starving.

Aftersevens · 27/12/2022 09:58

RampantIvy · 27/12/2022 08:30

I don't invite more people than I have seating for. It isn't very hospitable.

Queue the thread that starts “To be upset that I never get invited to my family for Christmas”…..

Fingeronthebutton · 27/12/2022 10:01

Why are there 7 pages pandering to Kidult?
If he/she thinks this stinks, he/she is going to be really fucked when they grow up.

AprilFools2015 · 27/12/2022 10:05

Completely baffled by this whole post & thread!! As a few pp have mentioned, why would anyone's family not
a) ensure enough seating?
b) check whether you were comfortable or wanted a seat during a whole day sat on the floor (at Christmas too)?
As much as OP could have spoken up / got a dining chair, so could any of those other adults in the room, yet they didn't (very odd)...to my mind this could indicate a family that lives by diff values than my own eg there are parents who think nothing of putting a child in a cage or feeding them from a dog bowl on floor...that's considered abuse of course & perhaps OP didn't speak up as their family are emotionally abusive so think its fine they sit on floor all day - for future ref its not.
If the problem is they just weren't being considerate when a higher number of people / visitors present, its still weird...I haven't been at a large family gathering for a while (the last was Aug parents 50th anniersary party at my sisters house, some chairs indoors, some in garden, people played musical chairs, etc. no issues...we never have large Xmas gatherings now - sister in Leeds, another in Thornbury, we're in Wales, my folks in Sidmouth, ILs in Windsor - so this isn't an issue, but any event like this people would move heaven & earth to offer guests a dining chair, etc. so I am completely fascinated by OPs family's behaviour...elder relatives would rarely sit on a floor, younger ones might, but would be offered a seat at least; even my dad, 71, sits on floor to give out presents, my ILs at 73, less so).

OP may have a number of reasons for being shy to speak up: ASD, is a long-suffering recipient of this sort of behaviour from family so didn't feel able, was the only teenager present, so didn't feel able, but presumably is a parent so deserves a comfty chair as much as any of us!

Failing all this OP, next time, bring in a dining chair or sit on your rude sister til she gives up her seat; if you are Monica from Friends size that will be a hugely effective tactic going forward.

SummaLuvin · 27/12/2022 10:08

foxy86 · 27/12/2022 09:03

When we have a full house and all seats are taken I bring a dining chair in. My husband thinks I should be sitting on the floor. My response is why the fuck should I when we have 4 bloody dining chairs that I could sit on instead.

the perfect solution unless, like me, you have pew style seating which can't be easily moved, and wouldn't fit even if you could...

NormalNans · 27/12/2022 10:11

I haven’t read the thread apart from to check if OP came back but would anyone else not be remotely bothered by this? Assuming you’re not sitting on concrete or tiled flooring, and if you were uncomfortable just grab a cushion.

Kanaloa · 27/12/2022 10:13

NormalNans · 27/12/2022 10:11

I haven’t read the thread apart from to check if OP came back but would anyone else not be remotely bothered by this? Assuming you’re not sitting on concrete or tiled flooring, and if you were uncomfortable just grab a cushion.

To be honest I would be bothered - I get stiff and sore quite easily. So I’d say ‘sister/cousin/brother etc - move, I’ve been on the floor for an hour so you can have an hour.’

I wouldn’t just sit around pathetically hoping I got the opportunity to sit on the sofa. I can’t abide by wet lettuce attitudes.

MajorCarolDanvers · 27/12/2022 10:27

They must have gone to the loo at some point. That's when you all change chairs.

Or ask.

Waspsnbees · 27/12/2022 10:37

i always end up on the floor at the ILs. if it was all day i might grab a dining chair. or pouffe. or the arm of the couch. or just a cushion. it's only one day.

DarkDarkNight · 27/12/2022 10:40

It would never happen in my family. You can’t ‘claim’ a seat for the whole day surely? Once you move that seats up for grabs. If there’s an empty chair just plonk yourself down. It’s like musical chairs at my family gatherings.

FlamingNancy · 27/12/2022 11:17

In mine and all my family’s houses, it’s pretty much a game of musical chairs.

If someone gets up they lose their seat, it’s how it’s always been an how it always will be, however we all know not to sit in nanny and grandads chair 😂

Honestly get over it.

RampantIvy · 27/12/2022 12:58

Aftersevens · 27/12/2022 09:58

Queue the thread that starts “To be upset that I never get invited to my family for Christmas”…..

Grin Luckily, I don't have a large family, so it would never happen.
PollyAmour · 27/12/2022 13:16

Passive aggressive martyrdom at its best.

KalvinPhillipsBoots · 27/12/2022 13:42

Get some real problems OP

DingDonkey · 27/12/2022 14:45

I was reminded of this thread when we all went to sit in the living room and DH was left standing. I had to leave to get my grandmother's bag and DH promptly nabbed my seat. I've gone to sit in another room!

DingDonkey · 27/12/2022 14:48

SkippyKangeroo · 27/12/2022 07:55

As 'the outsider' at our Christmas get togethers, this happens to me all the time. Always left with the worse chair.

It fascinates me, the ingrained selfishness and entitlement of some families, summed up in a Christmas seating arrangement.

Why don't you just take someone else's chair when they get up? Or make sure you sit down in the best seat first!

NippyWoowoo · 27/12/2022 14:49

OP may have a number of reasons for being shy to speak up: ASD, is a long-suffering recipient of this sort of behaviour from family so didn't feel able, was the only teenager present, so didn't feel able, but presumably is a parent so deserves a comfty chair as much as any of us!

Ummmm no lol. Your ass is not more deserving of a seat than mine because you have children 😂

Bluebellsparklypant · 27/12/2022 18:22

Maybe they just didn’t think? Might of thought you were fine with it if you didn’t mention it? Don’t take it to heart though. It’s funny I like sitting on the floor and happy to do so even when there’s seats free 😸

C1N1C · 28/12/2022 13:55

Made it into the Mirror:

www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/i-made-sit-floor-christmas-28823107

VioletLemon · 28/12/2022 14:01

Have your family got used to you accommodating them, I think it sounds pretty dissapointing and I'd feel hurt too but just make a point of getting there early and park on a seat next time.

NippyWoowoo · 28/12/2022 14:17

C1N1C · 28/12/2022 13:55

Another lazy journo bites the dust

RampantIvy · 28/12/2022 16:23

There seems to be rather more mumsnet threads worming their way into the tabloids just now.

Burgoo · 28/12/2022 16:27

If you didn't ask to take someone's seat then its on you I'd say. NOBODY wants to sit on the floor!

Dalekjastninerels · 28/12/2022 16:42

OP

This is unusual for an adult; as a child (12 and under) I was expected to give up my seat for a visiting adult relative/friend and sit on the floor.

Not as an adult or teenager though.

NippyWoowoo · 28/12/2022 17:48

RampantIvy · 28/12/2022 16:23

There seems to be rather more mumsnet threads worming their way into the tabloids just now.

Oh I'm confident this was was started by a lazy journalist, who works for the sun. The fact that the OP never returned is a big sign

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