Christmas dinner at midday 😱

[PleaseTakeItOff]

This is bonkers, isn’t it?

Having dinner at DM’s tomorrow and dbro, SIL and their 2 dc will also be there (they’re staying at DM’s, we’re local). Popped round today and asked what time they want us there tomorrow so I can finish assembling trifle and set table etc. DM says 2/3, SIL looks aghast and says that it needs to be on the table at 12 as their dc (2yo and 4yo) always have lunch then. DM and I suggest they have a sandwich lunch and we do Christmas dinner at their tea time instead so 4/5ish but SIL thinks that’s ridiculous.

This now means we’ll have to get up even earlier for dc to have time to open and play with their presents for a few hours before walking over to DM’s at 10.30. It means DM is stressed about having to get up even earlier to start dinner rather than being able to enjoy a leisurely breakfast, morning of present opening. Dbro thinks we should do what SIL wants and as it’s her first Christmas she’s spent with our side of the family rather than hers then of course we all want to try and accommodate her. I’ve never really done Christmas with people other than my own family and now I’m wondering if it’s odd not to have Christmas dinner at midday.

Blimey you’re a bit defensive over a bit of grub lol!!! Suspect we will prob be eating roughly the same, everyone’s Christmas lunch is basically the same. Guess I just miss out the dudes of stress and drama. Enjoy whatever you’re shoving/ placing carefully in the oven, I know we will😁

12.30 here. Breakfast for everyone is over and done by 7.30 so by 12.30 we are all hungry. It doesn't take any longer than usual to cook Christmas lunch than a normal lunch. All the prep done today so it's basically stuff chucked in the oven.

Anyway the host decides when it's served.

"Anyway the host decides when it's served."

Yes. Absolutely nothing wrong with eating your main Christmas meal at 12 or at 7.
It comes down to what the cook wants to do (usual provisos of making sure guests are provided with food at other times - nobody thinks the 12 o'clock cooks will starve their guests for the rest of day, neither will the 7pmers).

I prefer between 12 and 1 personally. It has not occured to me that others wait all day to have Christmas dinner.... I would cry if I had to wait until the early evening!

That's crazy, kids can have something at 12 if they're hungry, what difference does it make for them!

No you are missing my point - you can spend minutes on Christmas dinner shoving or steaming or hours - and there are plenty of options in between, we never eat the traditional Turkey dinner, in our opinion as a family it's too dull - we always want to make it special otherwise why bother - it's the only event of the day, so to get up too early and shoehorning it into the first few hours of daylight seems a squeeze too far - we all do and enjoy things differently.

I can't understand why people pander to entitled individuals like this. I'm guilty of it too. Nobody ever seems to just say "oh dear sorry you're not happy but this is how we're going to do it". Why is SIL's opinion and convenience more important than everybody else's, including OP's DC?

There's absolutely no reason whatsoever that her kids couldn't have lunch at their usual time, just something easy like a sandwich. Then they can sit at the table with everyone else mid-afternoon and if they feel like eating a bit they can. If not, surely they can play with a toy in the highchair or play on the floor nearby. If they get a bit fidgety there are enough adults to take turns keeping them entertained so everyone can enjoy their meal.

I have very young kids and cannot imagine inflicting my baby's schedule on my entire extended family. That's so entitled and inconsiderate. I have a cousin who is like this and as a result we rarely see her.

I can't understand why people pander to entitled individuals like this. I'm guilty of it too. Nobody ever seems to just say "oh dear sorry you're not happy but this is how we're going to do it".

Lots of people, probably the vast majority, handle this sort of situation exactly as you suggest. But then there’s no need to post on MN about it, so you don’t hear about it so much.