Christmas dinner at midday 😱

[PleaseTakeItOff]

This is bonkers, isn’t it?

Having dinner at DM’s tomorrow and dbro, SIL and their 2 dc will also be there (they’re staying at DM’s, we’re local). Popped round today and asked what time they want us there tomorrow so I can finish assembling trifle and set table etc. DM says 2/3, SIL looks aghast and says that it needs to be on the table at 12 as their dc (2yo and 4yo) always have lunch then. DM and I suggest they have a sandwich lunch and we do Christmas dinner at their tea time instead so 4/5ish but SIL thinks that’s ridiculous.

This now means we’ll have to get up even earlier for dc to have time to open and play with their presents for a few hours before walking over to DM’s at 10.30. It means DM is stressed about having to get up even earlier to start dinner rather than being able to enjoy a leisurely breakfast, morning of present opening. Dbro thinks we should do what SIL wants and as it’s her first Christmas she’s spent with our side of the family rather than hers then of course we all want to try and accommodate her. I’ve never really done Christmas with people other than my own family and now I’m wondering if it’s odd not to have Christmas dinner at midday.

Never done it that way. We tend to spread the meal out over the whole day. Starter at lunchtime, main course around 4 then pudding when anyone wants it. A starter could be more than enough for kids that young.

SIL is being unreasonable, the kids can have a light lunch or snack and then pick at bits from the main meal. I have a 2 year old who still naps some days and that’s what we’ll be doing tomorrow and generally do for big family get together.
I think many little children don’t eat very well at big social gatherings anyway, too many distractions.

Who on earth does she think she is?

Is pop round to help you mum and woops timings are longer than you think and dinner is at 14:00

The kids are so young. A snack lunch is fine. Clearly the kids can fit into the adult lunch time - 1.30 or later? If they nap, then 4.30pm would be great and they have it as their dinner. That's what we will do with my DS who is 2.

I think you have to eat earlier with young kids to be honest.
It's me and teens tomorrow and we'll eat about 2.

I'm deeply offended by the very thought of this.

I remember as a small child wandering around clutching my stomach in hunger before Christmas dinner was served around 3/4.

I intend to do the same to my DS and DH

You don't base the timings of Christmas Dinner around the eating patterns of a 2 & 4 Yr old, who will barely eat the dinner. Just say No, at least your mum should as it's her house.

Nothing wrong with the cook deciding when lunch should be served - that isn't what is happening here.

Three babies and eating at 4.30pm here. Midday is brunch time!

That's basically brunch

There's nothing wrong with it if that's when the cook decides to cook for.

But the SIL in this scenario is a guest that's trying to dictate what time everyone else has to eat - that's not okay.

I think 12 is too early even to get things ready without stressing, have leisurely breakfast, opening presents, a dog walk, trip to the pub for a couple of pints - 3pm is probably a good compromise - but we'll probably eat at closer to 5pm - our kids were never clock watchers even when small. But if they are hungry there's lots of snacks available to sort them out.

Because it’s also my Christmas Day that she’s affecting. I’m helping my mum prepare and serve dinner. We’re doing what she wants as she’s the guest, that doesn’t mean I can’t have a winge about it.

PILs are the 12pm suggesters here, bloody ridiculous time!

🤣 admiration for your SIL. I would love to have xmas lunch at 12 but would never have the guts to suggest it when I know everyone else will react like you. I usually eat lunch at 12.
We are going to be eating midafternoon which I always hate.
It means I will have to eat something before at normal lunch time or i would be moody and starving. Then I won't be hungry for Xmas food and will over eat and be uncomfortable

And precisely how much of a Christmas dinner will her toddler even eat?

Overeating and being uncomfortable is what Christmas is all about 😂

Your mother is cooking so she sets the timeline. She should stick to her guns.

Your SIL is being very rude and inflexible and I would be telling her so, whatever your brother thinks.

If it is so vital that the kids eat something at midday then they can have a sandwich or other small snack to keep them going, which SIL will be welcome to prepare for them. Then they can have whatever they want of Christmas Dinner later on, or a little can be kept aside for them if they are not hungry at that point. They will survive and nobody will die.

We eat at about 1pm. That was the way both sets of parents usually did it when DH and I were children. Most years now we walk to a local restaurant and are booked in at 1.00pm. Every family is different though and your SIL clearly doesn't realise that you don't just march into someone else's house trying to dictate how they do things.

Well I think she’s being unreasonable.

I wouldn’t want to get up early to do present opening and I like my food but I wouldn’t be able to eat a Christmas dinner at midday 🤢🤢🤢

Your suggestion of having it at the kids teatime was good, I think 4 is the earliest I’d want it. We have a snack lunch and the Christmas meal at about 6.30, which is our normal dinner time.

Growing up we used to have Christmas dinner around 2:30/3pm. I’m hosting this year and aiming between 3/4pm.
Imo the one cooking gets to decide what time everyone eats 🤷🏻‍♀️ Sil needs to respect Christmas is done differently in every household and her lo is not going to be put out by having a sandwich at 12.

Well if it doesnt suit everyone then change it. It sort of does mean you cant winge if your mum is happy to go along with 12, then she is the cook

If she isnt happy or the majority arent happy then dont do it??

At that age the kids had a large snack at midday and then we all ate dinner about 4pm together

I don't think there's a right or wrong time for Christmas dinner but I think people can be shocked when others do it differently from their own expectations.

12 is a normal lunchtime for a toddler and I would have thought 2pm is halfway through a nap. I think looking back I would have stretched lunch to 1pm with some snacks and distractions for my DS at that age. Both my mum and my in laws discussed it in advance with those with kids though to come up with what suits everyone.

2-3 is a strange time for kids for me because it's neither lunch or dinner but I've seen loads of people on here saying they eat at that time so must be ok for them.

It was sort of thrown on us as I was leaving DM’s earlier. DM wasn’t happy about it either but after I suggested serving it at her dc’s teatime instead and she looked at me as if I’d grown an extra head it was dropped. It’s my 2 dc, myself and dm who would like it later and dbro, SIL and her 2 dc that want it at 12. We’re flexible but stroppy about it, she wants 12, no debate.