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Original poster

Christmas dinner at midday 😱

208 replies

PleaseTakeItOff · 24/12/2022 15:47

This is bonkers, isn’t it?

Having dinner at DM’s tomorrow and dbro, SIL and their 2 dc will also be there (they’re staying at DM’s, we’re local). Popped round today and asked what time they want us there tomorrow so I can finish assembling trifle and set table etc. DM says 2/3, SIL looks aghast and says that it needs to be on the table at 12 as their dc (2yo and 4yo) always have lunch then. DM and I suggest they have a sandwich lunch and we do Christmas dinner at their tea time instead so 4/5ish but SIL thinks that’s ridiculous.

This now means we’ll have to get up even earlier for dc to have time to open and play with their presents for a few hours before walking over to DM’s at 10.30. It means DM is stressed about having to get up even earlier to start dinner rather than being able to enjoy a leisurely breakfast, morning of present opening. Dbro thinks we should do what SIL wants and as it’s her first Christmas she’s spent with our side of the family rather than hers then of course we all want to try and accommodate her. I’ve never really done Christmas with people other than my own family and now I’m wondering if it’s odd not to have Christmas dinner at midday.

OP posts:
dammit88 · 24/12/2022 16:01

Your sis actually said having it at 4/5 was ridiculous? Thats soooo rude. Your brother needs to have a word with her speaking to his mum like that.

NoSquirrels · 24/12/2022 16:02

NoSquirrels · 24/12/2022 16:00

Dbro thinks we should do what SIL wants and as it’s her first Christmas she’s spent with our side of the family rather than hers then of course we all want to try and accommodate her.

As it’s the first Christmas she’s spent with your family you should do it as your family usually does it. She should fall in, as a guest.

The age of the children is fine for them to wait - they’re not babies or toddlers.

Your mum should say no.

Ah, sorry - misread. Thought they were 4 and 6, not 2 and 4.

Regardless, the toddler should eat lunch or something else at 12.30 and have a nap as usual then join in for tea time main meal.

rookiemere · 24/12/2022 16:03

To be honest I'm not overly fond of mid afternoon Christmas dinner, so since DS was young we tend to have it around 1.00-1.30, means we can do parkrun in the morning ( unless like tomorrow we're going up to my DPs ) eat lunch and have a walk afterwards and usually save the dessert until later on.

12 does seem early so maybe a compromise is 1pm.

Spikeyball · 24/12/2022 16:04

"The age of the children is fine for them to wait - they’re not babies or toddlers."

Ds still couldn't wait for a late lunch but he gets fed his normal lunch at normal time and then eats what he wants out of Christmas lunch/dinner whenever it is.

Mumsfret1976 · 24/12/2022 16:07

We always eat at midday. DC are up at 6, starving g by lunchtime. Would be a shame to spoil their appetite with sandwiches.

givethistokevin · 24/12/2022 16:08

We used to have our starter at lunch time and the rest of the dinner at 5/6 when the DC were little, as their mealtimes were never flexible.

xmaslurgy · 24/12/2022 16:08

Notonthestairs · 24/12/2022 15:58

Why wouldn't they feed the toddler at 12? What's wrong with a sandwich and then a later meal?
Do you feed toddlers roast dinners at midday usually?

Show quote history

1230 sure. I mean we're all up at 5:00am anyway

xmaslurgy · 24/12/2022 16:09

If you feed them before dinner they'll just get bored and play up at dinner

hashbrownsandwich · 24/12/2022 16:10

Your DM needs to pull rank and tell SIL dinner will be 3pm.

I despise people who do what your SIL has done!!!

reallyworriedjobhunter · 24/12/2022 16:12

When mine were that age I always had a tray of cooked pigs in blankets ready and gave them a few as a 'starter' if they started getting a bit hungry. But they were usually just focused on new toys and playing with family that they could last longer than their usual lunchtime.

RampantIvy · 24/12/2022 16:13

I don't like eating mid afternoon for any meal, especially Christmas dinner. We tend to eat at 1ish. DH is on mediaction that means he has to have regular meal times and he needs to eat in the evening as well, and not too late, so we never eat a late Christmas dinner.

bellac11 · 24/12/2022 16:14

Presumably if your mum doesnt agree she can say no and change the time of the dinner?

If she is happy to go ahead at 12 then 12 it is?

Why are you getting involved if not just to slag off your sister in law?

NumberTheory · 24/12/2022 16:14

I would go for a slightly larger breakfast/mid-morning snack and lunch when MiL wants it. Have you tried telling SiL to put more chocolate in their stockings so they won’t be hungry? Xmas Grin

To be fair, I don’t think SiL is unreasonable to point out her kids won’t cope with the planned arrangements. But you all need a bit more flexibility in thinking about alternatives.

WimbyAce · 24/12/2022 16:15

We are eating about 3 I think. I will give the kids some snacks to keep them going, will prob have something myself too as I am awful if I get too hungry.

gettingolderandgrumpier · 24/12/2022 16:17

12 is too early imo , my parents do this they think anyone that eats at 2 or later are mad .
even as s child it would annoy me as I wouldn’t be very hungry at 12 . When my dc were young they’d like to see them Christmas morning but they want to do it early so they could get the back to get their lunch ready it was all very rushed so I stopped doing that a few years back .

alanabennett · 24/12/2022 16:18

FFS, how rude of your SiL. She can feed the kids at midday and have the main meal around 3, presumably after the kids have napped.

It inconveniences everyone to move lunch 3 hours earlier - no need at all when you can feed the little kids and be done with all the drama.

i sincerely hope your mother stands firm on this.

Notonthestairs · 24/12/2022 16:19

They can have their sandwich lunch as normal and their Christmas dinner at teatime.

Igglepiggleslittletoe · 24/12/2022 16:22

Whoever cooks is whoever makes the time decision. I hate parents who think everything must revolve around their little darlings schedule too.

BelleMarionette · 24/12/2022 16:25

I have served if at midday to 1pm in the past. I had no idea this wasn't the done thing. What's wrong with it?

Bestcatmum · 24/12/2022 16:25

I never eat it later than 1pm if I do it at all. I want to be relaxing in the afternoon not cooking and washing up.

AutumnCrow · 24/12/2022 16:26

Fgs just tell her No.

'On reflection, that isn't going to work at all, so No. Please feed the DC their lunch at 12 and we'll all eat together at 4pm. It's been decided by majority vote and the cook.'

Sirzy · 24/12/2022 16:26

xmaslurgy · 24/12/2022 16:09

If you feed them before dinner they'll just get bored and play up at dinner

so they can then go and play with their presents while the rest of the group finish eating

ChristmasCakeAndStilton · 24/12/2022 16:27

I'm torn.
I think the suggestion of a sandwich at lunch time, and Christmas dinner at dinner time is a great compromise.
I think your SiL is correct that feeding kids that your around the normal time is the right way to do it - but that doesn't have to mean christmas lunch is at 12.

Roselilly36 · 24/12/2022 16:27

YANBU OP, most people have Christmas dinner later in the day, DH always says it will be ready when it’s cooked 😂 but surely the little ones can have snack and then eat with you all? It’s only one day of the year.

Wishimaywishimight · 24/12/2022 16:28

If it's her first Christmas with your family you need to set a precedent otherwise you will be eating at the bonkers hour of noon every Christmas she spends with your side.

I could not stomach a big meal at that hour. We'll only be having breakfast at 11ish, couldn't eat dinner before 5.