To hire a nanny for weekends my husband is working

[woofwoof71]

This Christmas, as I imagine most of the UK right now, we are all ill. We’ve had strep, food poisoning and now flu. Happens every year right?

My husband has recently gone back to work after being injured so for the last 6 months parenting and family life has been great and he’s helped with nursery runs etc and I’ve got used to having him around. However he’s a shift worker and I’m dreading him going back to work. He has every Friday off to look after our little boy and I work from home so we manage it more like 50/50 between us and he often will then go and do a nightshift for 12 hours on a Friday night.

Now 5 weekends in a row he will be working both Sat and Sun 6.30am - 6.30pm (the next 5 he would be off) meaning he leaves before baby is awake and gets back when he’s already asleep or just going in his cot. And I find these weekends totally overwhelming. I work a hard job Mon-Fri and I find the weekends I have to do everything by myself just totally and utterly exhausting to the point I’m constantly run down or getting ill. We have no family within 3 hours of us so don’t get ANY help, if baby is ill and we’re I’ll it’s tough shit.

I earn enough money that I could hire a nanny for the afternoons or mornings to help out and just give me a bit of rest bite. However my family have arrived for Xmas and when explaining they’ve said ‘everyone else in the UK manages, I think you’re being very dramatic and unnecessary’.

AIBU to spend my money how I wish and actually look after my own physical and mental health?!

I often think the key to successful parenting is to understand yourself well enough to know your limits and then to stay within them.

Some posters on here claim to be single mothers of 5 with no family support and doing fine - great for them. But I know that I start to get overwhelmed and grumpy if I have more than about a week in sole charge of the kids. So I organise our annual leave and holiday clubs around that. And I am great with our kids for the time that I am with them

Sounds good to me. My friend does this. Even trips to the shops, zoo etc. Are a lot more enjoyable, relaxing with an extra pair of hands. A nursery worker is a perfect choice

I think you should look at your overall routine.

Your weekdays sound far too hectic, no wonder you're burning out and feeling ill.

5 hours a day of childcare on workdays is a lot. Those long hours with dc pre 9am and post 4pm sound like guilt time. There's nothing wrong with having dc in nursery 8-6 Monday to Friday. (I did it as a single parent with no support)

Then you'd not be working from the crack of dawn late into the evening. No wonder you need a rest at the weekend!

I'd definitely outsource laundry in your situation and get the cleaner in 2/3 times a week rather