Grandparents 'beat us'to give 'the big gift'

[Notahappyelf]

I'm just heartbroken. Ever since a friend got one in January this year,
all my little boy has asked for for Christmas is a remote controll monster truck. We've ummed and erred but it's the only thing he asked for this year so we got him one from the same series as his friends. It was £70 but having seen his ability to control his friends truck and how well its lasted this year we decoded it was worth it. Its a full on rc truck not a 'toy' one of that makes sense and we've been so excited to fufulill this year long dream for him.

We've just come back from my inlaws having an early Christmas and they gave him books, Christmas pajamas and... a cheap dinosaur themed 'toy' remote controll monster truck!!

I'm heartbroken. I'm not sure I can be cross with them as they aren't the sort to ask what to get him or what we're getting him the way his other grandparents or relatives do. But they've taken that special gift away from us, or am I being ungrateful here? I'm sure they knew that's what he wants, although possibly haven't been told directly that we were getting it. They haven't asked my husband what they should get but I'd hope they'd think we were handling the one thing on his official letter to Santa?

He even commented at bed time that we don't need to get him one now as he has a truck now :(

I just feel he's going to be so disappointed with our gift, and due to its value there's only stocking stuffers from us to go with it. Our son is too young to appreciate that our truck is of much better quality etc. I just feel that, possibly unintentionally, they've stolen a magical Christmas morning from us. I know grandparents like to spoil their grandkids, its lovely, but not to get 'the big gift '?

I want to ask them in future to at least run their gift ideas by us if they're not going to ask what to get him??

Am I over reacting?

Yes

yes, very much so.

Entirely

Yes

It's fine - he can have 2.

Or you could take yours back for a refund.

YABU

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to feel upset. But I bet on Christmas morning, he’ll be delighted, and will be able to tell yours is better! Plus, cheap remote control vehicles last really badly, so theirs probably won’t work by the end of January and yours will come into its own!

if You are sure it was unintentional, then YABU- but I completely get it. I’d be gutted too.
try not to be too upset, I’m sure your son will love your gift-he won’t know it’s more valuable but he will know yours is bigger and better:
it’s totally fair to ask them to run future gifts past you.

No.
grandparents need to be considerate of their dc. They’ve had their time of special moments and the majority won’t have had to have negotiated their own parents with more money than sense.
mini this culture that grandparents have a right to spoil the dgc is toxic now. It used to be a few sweets/ extra slice of cake when I was little. Now it’s full on second coming of santa( or the first in your case) when it’s highly likely the parents are struggling for money. No it isn’t fair.

First World problem.

Why not give your gift to a family who would not be able to afford it.

Make someone else happy.

No.
Ok they possibly didn’t know that they’ve stolen the dream toy. Why didn’t you tell them?

An ‘early Christmas’??? Why is that? I would be more annoyed by that.

I think we all understand you feel disappointed and your son feels excited to have a new toy. I doubt it will take away the specialness of his gift - just imagine being able to join in the fun and have races!

How old is your son?

'...they've stolen a magical Christmas morning from us.'

This is the best thing I've read on here for a long time. Thank you.

Having 2 is good for racing - and yours will be faster and therefore his favourite!

Next year tell them what you are getting him or make a wishlist for him.

Trust me. Give him the one you've got as planned. Challenge him to a race...

I thought you were going to say they’d deliberately bought exactly what he wanted. Which would be awful. But that’s not what happened here?

I would be totally irritated and poised of. I would drink several glasses of wine and rant at my husband. Then I would swallow the issue and move on, reminding myself how lucky me and my kid both were. Try to do the same - it’s irritating but you are overreacting :-)

Wow heartbroken over something that's a not really the same (you say the one you are getting is not a toy) theirs is. Also yes you are being ungrateful ( and I bet you wouldn't be as upset if it was your parents who did it this)

Take the batteries, out of the grandparents gift tonight and when it doesnt work just say “oh no its broken”. Then Christmas day will bring him a new one and a few days later you can ‘fix’ the grandparent one and then he will have two to race with

Loads of people do it....for logistics reasons. It's hardly an unimaginable thing to not be able to be at all your adult kids houses on the same day, or have all your kids and their kids come to yours.... So you do the presents and meal etc on a different day with each of them, and maybe take it a rotation for seeing DC and GC on the actual day.

So, they have got him a cheap toy version of a monster truck - and you have bought him a much more expensive big truck, the one he really wanted ? Where is the problem?

Totally agree with this

Give him the better one on Christmas Day. He’ll probably love having 2.
And don’t let the GPs do “early Christmas” again, that’s daft.

A real mix of opinions!
Yes- I understand completely first world problem but I can't help how I feel. There's so much else going on in our family/health and in rhe world right now, I guess I'd built up this idea of giving him this wonderful gift after some hard times, maybe built it up far too much.

I love the idea of still giving him the truck so they can race, I think that's the plan.

Thank you to those who understood why I'm so upset, even if the subject matter seems trivial to some. And thank you for the honest YABUs, that's why I asked, I thought maybe I was blowing this out of proportion in my head.