Grandparents 'beat us'to give 'the big gift'

[Notahappyelf]

I'm just heartbroken. Ever since a friend got one in January this year,
all my little boy has asked for for Christmas is a remote controll monster truck. We've ummed and erred but it's the only thing he asked for this year so we got him one from the same series as his friends. It was £70 but having seen his ability to control his friends truck and how well its lasted this year we decoded it was worth it. Its a full on rc truck not a 'toy' one of that makes sense and we've been so excited to fufulill this year long dream for him.

We've just come back from my inlaws having an early Christmas and they gave him books, Christmas pajamas and... a cheap dinosaur themed 'toy' remote controll monster truck!!

I'm heartbroken. I'm not sure I can be cross with them as they aren't the sort to ask what to get him or what we're getting him the way his other grandparents or relatives do. But they've taken that special gift away from us, or am I being ungrateful here? I'm sure they knew that's what he wants, although possibly haven't been told directly that we were getting it. They haven't asked my husband what they should get but I'd hope they'd think we were handling the one thing on his official letter to Santa?

He even commented at bed time that we don't need to get him one now as he has a truck now :(

I just feel he's going to be so disappointed with our gift, and due to its value there's only stocking stuffers from us to go with it. Our son is too young to appreciate that our truck is of much better quality etc. I just feel that, possibly unintentionally, they've stolen a magical Christmas morning from us. I know grandparents like to spoil their grandkids, its lovely, but not to get 'the big gift '?

I want to ask them in future to at least run their gift ideas by us if they're not going to ask what to get him??

Am I over reacting?

I think you've been overthinking the whole Christmas Day experience. You might be disappointed but your boy won't give two hoots and will have a great day regardless. Nothing's been taken from you. Take the truck back and swap it for something else.

Absolutely this. I can't believe this is true though.

Is this his Santa present, or do you buy a big gift too as I read he said you don't need to get me one now.
If he has other big stuff from Santa just enjoy that.
Next year tell them what your getting.
Could he play with you or his dad and race them that he has 2

YABU: it doesn’t sound like it was deliberate, and your DS will love your truck more! Give him the one you bought him; he’ll still be delighted.

YANBU. Take the batteries out of the one the grandparents gave him, right now.

Tomorrow, oh no! it's broken.

Give him yours on Christmas morning.

If you really are that bothered just return the truck and buy £70 worth of presents or another big present instead.
Not sure why your DS was allowed to open his presents a week before Christmas though. You need to manage this better going forwards.

Just to answer some questions-
My son is 5
We have several 'Christmas' days with various grandparents (mine and my husbands parents all divorced and 10+yrs remarried) my son has 8 grandparents and 4 of those can't be civil in a room with at least 1 of the others! Also pure logistical nightmare of 8 grandparents, 9 aunts/uncles and 8 cousins!
As to Santa gift, santa only fills stockings in our house and all other gifts are given from the real givers (just the way we choose to work things)

If this is your idea of heartbreaking then you’ve lived a charmed life. Get a bloody grip FFS.

I'd be upset too but this is a good solution

Oh I totally get it. I’ve bought an amazing fire engine toy for my fireman-mad 4 year old and specifically asked other relatives not to get this. Lo and behold a Lego fire engine turns up from grandparents (in laws) last weekend.
im frustrated but I know that rationally i should be happy that he’s been playing with the Lego toy all week.
its just upsetting when you have a limited amount of money to spend on a child and you want to get their main gifts right.

I understand
In my long years of parenting though, I suspect the toy that grandparents got aren't designed to last and you will be very grateful to have the one you got a few months down the line .

Also think @SeaToSki has the right idea about the batteries

Because his Nan and Grandad gave them to him in an early Christmas celebration with family.

Why are people being so dim about the notion of people seeing family on a different day...?

That's quite different.

OP not her DH had even told/Spoke of the monster truck and how they were getting one for him.

Well you're lucky they bought him a nice gift that they thought he would like. You're being completely ridiculous! Honestly you need to get a grip.

YABU on every level. Be grateful your child has grandparents that care and still afford gifts and are alive!

Send this to Lee Mack. It’ll make a good ‘Not Going Out’ episode!

Heart broken is when you have a child that isn't there anymore to celebrate Christmas with you - not a child having two similar presents.

YABU. Refund or let him race the two.

YABU for letting him open presents in advance of the actual day.
If the GPs want to hand over presents a week in advance, then you take them home and put them under the tree, surely?
(they could always have watched him open it on Xmas day via video-call if they wanted to; when i was young this wasn't an option so we just phoned our GPs afterwards to thank them)
Alternatively, they arrange to meet up with you after the big day.

When my DD was 4 she loved the Tweenies and her favourite was a doll called Fizz, I drove for 5 hours return journey to collect that doll for her as there were no stockists near us, it was the only thing she’d asked for. On Christmas Eve my well meaning MIL gave her a Fizz doll, I get your annoyance but I never showed it as I watched the joy on DD’s face and the sheer pleasure on MIL’s face. I’d stupidly never mentioned to MIL that I’d managed to get one at the last minute. Do you know the one thing my DD remembers about that Christmas? Santa left a hand knitted doll that when you turned it upside down was a different doll under its skirt that my aunt had knitted! She still has that doll 25 years later. Fizz was forgotten after a few months!

Two trucks are better than one OP and presents are often forgotten in later years.

He is a very lucky kid, some kids are getting nothing!

How does he know the presents are from you?

Foes he not believe in Santa?
You said he was young.

Ok OP! Having been in a similar situation (but not with trucks!!), this is what I'd do!! ..

Be really excited and happy about the truck he's got, but then talk a lot between now and Christmas about the 'ultra rare' and 'legendary' truck that has just come out, that is sooooo cool and that everyone wants! Let him have loads of fun with his current truck, and keep bigging up the 'ultra rare' one that he would probably be greaaaat controlling now he's had sooo much practice with the one from granny! Ideally show him a few pics from Amazon or wherever of the 'legendary, ultra rare' truck and keep hyping it so he wants it sooooooooo much!! Then on Christmas day you'll definitely get your excited shrieks when he unwraps his pressie from you and finds his dream truck!!

I told my MIL that my own DM was getting my DS a castle for Xmas (as she asked). DM bought a beautiful, big wooden castle with soldiers and horses.
MIL got DS a tiny, cheap, flimsy castle and gave it first encouraging DS to open it before Xmas despite us seeing MIL at Xmas time knowing he had one coming from DM.
DM was gutted as MIL took away the surprise from DS as when he opened DM castle he said “I already have one of these”
Got rid of MIL castle as soon as DS forgot about it. We still have DM castle but he’s a teen now.
MIL spoilt it for DM and DS

To be honest, I quite understand where you are coming from.