Grandparents 'beat us'to give 'the big gift'

[Notahappyelf]

I'm just heartbroken. Ever since a friend got one in January this year,
all my little boy has asked for for Christmas is a remote controll monster truck. We've ummed and erred but it's the only thing he asked for this year so we got him one from the same series as his friends. It was £70 but having seen his ability to control his friends truck and how well its lasted this year we decoded it was worth it. Its a full on rc truck not a 'toy' one of that makes sense and we've been so excited to fufulill this year long dream for him.

We've just come back from my inlaws having an early Christmas and they gave him books, Christmas pajamas and... a cheap dinosaur themed 'toy' remote controll monster truck!!

I'm heartbroken. I'm not sure I can be cross with them as they aren't the sort to ask what to get him or what we're getting him the way his other grandparents or relatives do. But they've taken that special gift away from us, or am I being ungrateful here? I'm sure they knew that's what he wants, although possibly haven't been told directly that we were getting it. They haven't asked my husband what they should get but I'd hope they'd think we were handling the one thing on his official letter to Santa?

He even commented at bed time that we don't need to get him one now as he has a truck now :(

I just feel he's going to be so disappointed with our gift, and due to its value there's only stocking stuffers from us to go with it. Our son is too young to appreciate that our truck is of much better quality etc. I just feel that, possibly unintentionally, they've stolen a magical Christmas morning from us. I know grandparents like to spoil their grandkids, its lovely, but not to get 'the big gift '?

I want to ask them in future to at least run their gift ideas by us if they're not going to ask what to get him??

Am I over reacting?

Push it to it's limits and break it before Christmas!

‘Heartbroken’ because your son is lucky enough to have grandparents who have given him a Christmas present he will love? You seriously need to get a grip!

So sorry for your loss @thegreenlight I

Agreed!!

Return it and buy something different?

You are an evil genius.

Fk, I'd if I were ever to start a company, I'd love to employ you.

You will get plenty of duplicate presents over the years. The best response is always 'wow, now you have two,isnt that brilliant'

The year my DD accidentally received two Baby Annabells, she was delighted to have 'twins' ❤

you have to negotiate or go with it. Having said that, things can still go wrong.

One year MIL asked me what DD wanted. I said that she really, really wants a doll with a little bath in Early Learning Centre, the toy shop in town.

On Christmas Day DD opened a doll with no bath, from Home Bargains. Totally different doll.

MIL saw the look on my face and said it was a better price. She has plenty of money and had bought a pile of tat as well 🤬

Had this happen. With another item. Really big. Mine was second hand & put a lot of effort in to decorating it to make it special & personalised. Giant box arrives. Now stuck with it & they prefer it. Made me quite sad. T

over reacting is an understatement. seriously. what a lucky lad with doting parent grandparents and 2 rc trucks for xmas.

I honest to god don’t see a problem

This reminds me of my MIL years ago. We got on fairly well before this, but it really soured me towards her.
My daughter was 2 and was obsessed with dolls. We bought her a set with a pram and a dolly and a bed and knew she would be bursting with happiness on Christmas Day.
We had told all family we were buying this to avoid duplicating, as the year before my son unknowingly ended up with 3 train sets!
Anyway, fast forward and my MIL told me she’d bought a pram set. I was pretty pissed off as we had been clear and asked her politely if she might return it as she knew this was the gift we had bought my daughter and didn’t want to have the situation repeat with my son the previous year. I even emailed her a picture of my gift.
I thought all was sorted. You can imagine my surprise on Boxing Day when out came exactly the same gift. To say I was seething didn’t really cover it.
I remember say that we didn’t have a big enough house for 2 identical sets but I’d take it to her playgroup so she could play with it there.
Who the hell does that? 😱😱😱

@emmiep that's just madness, and a complete waste of money. What did she aim to achieve from it, what did your DH say?
You can't expect much reaction from a 2 yo but my DS at 3 would have said I've already got one - leaving me cringing 😬

I have no idea what she wanted to achieve. I was very hurt though and more importantly, it was a waste of a present for my daughter. Hubby didn’t say anything which pissed me off even more.

Their truck is different from the one you want to give. Let him have both! You are still giving the one he really wants.

OP If it wasn't discussed previously, it wasn't with bad intent...you have a great family and your DC is very lucky, besides now you can all race each other, Great Christmas day family fun xx

Heartbroken, oh my God

Can I hazard a guess and say he's your only child

The problem is with opening presents early. What is wrong with keeping them for Christmas Day and then sending a thank you letter? I’m guessing the grandparents wanted to bask in the glory which is selfish and spoils the real Christmas Day.

Bask in the glory?

I imagine that most GPs would simply like the same pleasure that parents have...of seeing the child's face light up with pleasure at something they've given them.

Now that I'm a GM, I look back and wish my kids' grandparents had had that pleasure. I didn't think anything at all of the fact that they didn't get to share in seeing that, and that they had to rely on an appreicative phone call back then. There's a lot I'd have happily done differently as a Mum if I'd known what it means to GPs.

Cause folk are nuts

Even more the deranged ones saying to break or lose the gift.

Absolute nut jobs

Their truck will break in days and be landfill soon most likely!

I do understand, my in laws gave my pfb a big Santa sack full of presents so that they could 'do' Santa. As they weren't with us on the day I decanted them all into a couple of carrier bags and then gave them to her later with them on FaceTime reiterating about 10 times that they were from Nanny and Grandad and talking about Santa's visit that am.

MIL also fond of lots of cheap shit that breaks rather than one decent present.

*I imagine that most GPs would simply like the same pleasure that parents have...of seeing the child's face light up with pleasure at something they've given them.
*
Because they have had this pleasure with their own kids - let the parents take the lead on when where and from whom presents are given

@ElspethTascioni is absolutely right, @Notahappyelf - your son will love the truck you have got him, and it will be better quality and more long lasting than the one his grandparents have got him.

Please don’t worry.

They kind of have though. The child’s even said you don’t need to get me one now, I’ve got it. It’s definitely taken away from the wow factor.

Having said that OP, I think he’ll come round to the idea of having races pretty quickly, and may be alive to the differences between the two so that you still get that ‘eyes lit up’ moment. I’d be a bit fed up though.

Nowhere have I said that parents shouldn't take the lead. And I am 100% taking my own DD's lead on how we approach Christmas as a wider family.
I was replying to a specific comment that accused grandparents of 'wanting to bask in glory'. Which they don't. What pleasure they might get in being there when their GC's open their present, is in seeing their happy faces.