Grandparents 'beat us'to give 'the big gift'

[Notahappyelf]

I'm just heartbroken. Ever since a friend got one in January this year,
all my little boy has asked for for Christmas is a remote controll monster truck. We've ummed and erred but it's the only thing he asked for this year so we got him one from the same series as his friends. It was £70 but having seen his ability to control his friends truck and how well its lasted this year we decoded it was worth it. Its a full on rc truck not a 'toy' one of that makes sense and we've been so excited to fufulill this year long dream for him.

We've just come back from my inlaws having an early Christmas and they gave him books, Christmas pajamas and... a cheap dinosaur themed 'toy' remote controll monster truck!!

I'm heartbroken. I'm not sure I can be cross with them as they aren't the sort to ask what to get him or what we're getting him the way his other grandparents or relatives do. But they've taken that special gift away from us, or am I being ungrateful here? I'm sure they knew that's what he wants, although possibly haven't been told directly that we were getting it. They haven't asked my husband what they should get but I'd hope they'd think we were handling the one thing on his official letter to Santa?

He even commented at bed time that we don't need to get him one now as he has a truck now :(

I just feel he's going to be so disappointed with our gift, and due to its value there's only stocking stuffers from us to go with it. Our son is too young to appreciate that our truck is of much better quality etc. I just feel that, possibly unintentionally, they've stolen a magical Christmas morning from us. I know grandparents like to spoil their grandkids, its lovely, but not to get 'the big gift '?

I want to ask them in future to at least run their gift ideas by us if they're not going to ask what to get him??

Am I over reacting?

Does your child know truth about Santa? It goes as follows:
Santa loves him (and every child) very much. (Other people who talk about naughty children and good children are wrong.)
Santa loves him very much from the bottom of heart (regardless how he behaves) and KNOWS (stress with suitable intonation this word), KNOWS what is the best present for him.
Sometimes even when a child wants something, Santa knows that something else is better. Remember when you really wanted.......... (enter anything, toy, food item, activity that was disappointing) and then you didn't like it?
It took enormous pressure of me when kids very small and Christmas present budget even smaller.

What happened Yesterday OP?

As asked- Christmas day we saved the truck for the last gift hoping he'd then just want to drive/race it the rest of the morning. He looked so confused when he opened it and said he already had a monster truck.
That said after some forced humor he agreed to race it with dad and did have a wonderful time I think.

I'm so crestfallen by his reaction but smiling and moving on

You'll get over it. And have hopefully learned to share gift lists etc with near and dear!

Takes 5 minutes to discuss with those involved and stops people having to be psychic.

@Notahappyelf I'm not surprised you feel the way you do.

I'd definitely say for future no opening gifts before Christmas. But I'd also try to share gift lists and ideas around.

How awful for the poor wee soul, but how wonderful for you to get some extra hand wringing in and lots of sad face expressions as you quietly mouth 'I told you'. How do you cope?

Wear your martyrdom well, it will come back and bite you tenfold.

Bullocks did he. Through DS I've seen huge numbers of 3, 4 and 5 year old boys open presents. Not one has seen a truck and said "I have a truck already". That isn't a little boy reaction, it's just your bullshit.

I think expecting a specific big reaction from any present is setting yourself up for disappointment. Often kids like some random tiny thing you got over what you thought you be the big “wow” present, or end up preferring the bloody box!

He even commented at bed time that we don't need to get him one now as he has a truck now

your son is “too young” to appreciate the value etc but we are supposed to believe he said this at bedtime……I think you are exaggerating for effect here @Notahappyelf !!

and yes, YABU and selfish!

^^ this

Do grown adults really think behave like this and get upset over gift giving competitions. That too, with their parents and in-laws. It’s a strange world.

Crestfallen. Someone needs to write a script and sell this tragic tale to Hollywood.

Seasonal forgiveness?

Ok that settles it. This is a wind up post by a bored 15 year old. Your mum is calling you down for dinner. Get off MN.

A great movie. A comedy about grandparents and parents competing to get that one moment of joy each year by beating each other to get the big gift.

I don't think you're being unreasonable (had to look up what YABU meant 😅,) but I do think it might underlie an issue with your inlaws, which is why you reacted so strongly? Christmas has come and gone now and I hope yours was wonderful, but next year why not speak to them early on? Tell them what you're getting him and give them some ideas of what you know he would like. They might appreciate the heads up.