Grandparents 'beat us'to give 'the big gift'

[Notahappyelf]

I'm just heartbroken. Ever since a friend got one in January this year,
all my little boy has asked for for Christmas is a remote controll monster truck. We've ummed and erred but it's the only thing he asked for this year so we got him one from the same series as his friends. It was £70 but having seen his ability to control his friends truck and how well its lasted this year we decoded it was worth it. Its a full on rc truck not a 'toy' one of that makes sense and we've been so excited to fufulill this year long dream for him.

We've just come back from my inlaws having an early Christmas and they gave him books, Christmas pajamas and... a cheap dinosaur themed 'toy' remote controll monster truck!!

I'm heartbroken. I'm not sure I can be cross with them as they aren't the sort to ask what to get him or what we're getting him the way his other grandparents or relatives do. But they've taken that special gift away from us, or am I being ungrateful here? I'm sure they knew that's what he wants, although possibly haven't been told directly that we were getting it. They haven't asked my husband what they should get but I'd hope they'd think we were handling the one thing on his official letter to Santa?

He even commented at bed time that we don't need to get him one now as he has a truck now :(

I just feel he's going to be so disappointed with our gift, and due to its value there's only stocking stuffers from us to go with it. Our son is too young to appreciate that our truck is of much better quality etc. I just feel that, possibly unintentionally, they've stolen a magical Christmas morning from us. I know grandparents like to spoil their grandkids, its lovely, but not to get 'the big gift '?

I want to ask them in future to at least run their gift ideas by us if they're not going to ask what to get him??

Am I over reacting?

I agree with the racing. Racing is the best fun, and two are needed for that. Think of the gifts as being double the fun

No he has other presents, just much smaller ones. Plenty of people won't have £100 plus to spend on each child this Christmas. What's your (nasty) point? The Monster Truck was his big special present & the OP is allowed to be disappointed the GO's have inadvertently taken some of the excitement of them giving it to him.

@Notahappyelf I can understand why you're a bit cross & upset. It is a shame, but I'm sure he'll love the one you've got him.

I understand the situation you're in with 8 grandparents, but maybe in future have your actual Christmas Day & call the other days something else and do them After Christmas, to avoid this kind of thing.or tell them what his main present from you is.

Thank you all. I think maybe next year I just need to tell all relatives what we're getting him to avoid it happening again.

I'm going to exercise my seasonal forgiveness, assume it was accidental event and move on greatful my son has so many people to love him.

And yes, other than his stocking stuffers we only brought one toy. He gets well over 50 gifts from family then plus some from friends, it's overwhelming for everyone. Had he made a longer list with different things on we would have accommodated what we could upto about£70/80 as our budget is around 100 for him and 10 for each other to let our son pick us each something.

It's not competitive. The GPs didn't know that OP was buying the same thing. In this case it was purely accidental.

@GingerbreadCookie2022
I think the point is not which day you chose to have as Christmas Day ( my parents both had to work Christmas Day) but that you don’t have multiple Christmas Days.

Most people will want to visit friends and family if they aren’t coming for the day itself. But their gifts go under the tree, only to be opened on Christmas Day. A bit of delayed gratification is what makes it exciting and special.

I thought the heading meant that your grandparents thrashed you as a child and said it was your best present.

So the actual subject is nothing in comparison.

@Notahappyelf I'm sure the toys will be different enough for your LO to appreciate yours x

Don't be ridiculous. It's fine if grand parents want to spoil their grandchildren. It's all about the children, not how the adults feel (if relations are good and its not intentional of course). If the parents are struggling you think then the grandparents should hold back on nice things for the DGC as to not upset their adult children? What a horrible selfish attitude to have!

My parents have a lot more money than me, they have a second Xmas at their house and my child's happiness is the most important thing to me, it's not all about me, it's about them. And if they are happy, I am happy. It's that simple.

I hope that's a joke.

Yes - very much so

If he’s going to get 50 presents and has gone on about wanting a toy truck I’d expect a few more toy trucks OP

MN at Christmas is really messed up.

YABU, OP, but I think you get that now.

I can only remember 2 of my Christmas presents from my childhood, and I can't remember now if they were from Santa or my parents. One was a genuine, grown-up dressing table - that I am looking at right now, some 56 years later - the other was (in a previous) year, a proper wooden doll's house.

I used to get quite a few presnts from Santa - including a main one, and several others like a Rupert Bear Annual, chocolate, and other things that I have no recollection of now. Then when we went downstairs, there would be a big present from my Dear Mum and dad, and biggish ones from my Grandparents. Even though I can't remember now what presents I got, or from whom I received them, I do still remember how very excited and happy I felt at Christmas time, it really did feel magical.

As I said before OP, I can only actually remember the dressing table and the doll's house. So while I know it is lovely to see our children so happy on Christmas morning, in the years to come I doubt very much that your 5 year old will remember who gave him what, even if he does remember a specific present. So please try not to feel disappointed or sad, just keep on making Christmas magical for your little one, and his happiness will spread to everyone else - I found that following a few traditions every year, helped to keep the whole Day amazing for our family. 🥰

Haven't RTWT, but you lost me with the "heartbroken" thing. Really?? And FIFTY gifts for a small child?? Just wow.

Uh yes you are overreacting. Heartbroken. Oh dear. Smile and move on OP. You will either have forgotten about this or be embarrassed if not , in a few years.

Your reaction is understandable even if it is unreasonable! Sometimes we have the emotional reaction before we get to the rational response, that's OK.

You got the expensive one he wants, his gparwnts gave him a cheap version. I know which one he's going to be enamoured with!

Sweet boy to let you off the hook, as well.

Cheer up, op :)

DS loves having 2 similar toys . It means he can race/play with his best friend 😁. Less arguments if one of each. I would do Christmas presents from grandparents after the actual day to stop this occurring.

Completely

8 grandparents, 9 Aunts and Uncles and well over 50 presents for a 5 year old who is writing lists? ffs there's bound to be some overlap much more sensible to open a savings account for him and have everyone put the money to good use.

We all do this collectively for our nieces and nephews they absolutely love seeing the money grow and when they need something expensive like a tablet they dip in to it. Plus they are a whole lot more careful in deciding what they want when spending their 'own' money.

I don’t think YABU . My boys have both asked for expensive Lego sets that have been discontinued from Jurassic Park. They have consistently asked for months, part of the appeal is the dinosaur figure. If MIL turned up with cheap replicas of the dinosaur knowing that I’d bought these sets I would be livid. They literally have these as there main present and then stockings from Santa . I can’t wait to see there faces on Sunday when they open them. if they had the knock off dinosaurs a few days earlier then it would absolutely take away the magic.

There is a very strong chance that when he sees the better RC truck, he is going to like it far more, particularly once he takes it to play and race with his friends. The cheaper one will not compare and he will quickly realise this (Just read this to DP who is a RC truck/boat/plane sort of person).

Stock up on good batteries for both though, having one conk out is no fun, racing two IS fun, and the expensive one will eat batteries too (get more, rechargeables, and a charger!).

If he seems confused at having two, tell him Santa (if you do that) thought that two would be more fun at home when he isn't racing with his friend who has a truck, but obviously two high end RC cars is a bit much for Santa.

You don't understand what heartbroken really is.

Those who’ve suggested removing the batteries - what a nasty thing to do! That’s just pathetic that you’d rather upset a child by ‘breaking’ his toy than be happy that he’s delighted with the gift.

OP, my 4 yr old grandson has several monster trucks - he loves them! The most expensive one is the one that he broke first though. Paying so much for a toy is risky imo.
For next year, to avoid duplicates, give his grandparents suggestions as to what gifts he would like. That’s what we do with our grandchildren - that way, no one gets them duplicates.

You lost me at early Christmas, opening gifts on 20 Dec.

Get a grip! Children don’t know the cost of toys, nor do they mind if they get more of one type.

He will still be super excited for your present, as it wasn't an intention undermining or upstaging glad to see you're letting it go. And hey, isn't it wonderful that he has engaged grandparents that know what he likes :) he will enjoy playing with both.