Am I being over the top - Message from boss on teams

[Laladell]

I'll start with a brief background.
My boss is quite rude, his moods are up and down like nothing I've ever seen before, he's a bit of a bully and tbh we all walk on eggshells round him, he's a bit of a nightmare (We don't have HR we're a relatively small company and he is the managing director).

I've been struggling recently (not with work just with generally how he is and the way he speaks to me) and yesterday things ended in tears with office manager consoling me.

Today I was working on how to fix another colleagues mistake (no biggie) with my office manager, and I needed to speak with her, she was on the phone and I asked if she wanted me to come back when she was done, she said no its fine take a seat and wait will only be a couple of minutes. We resolved said problem and I left, went back into discuss it with her and we were at her monitors (we have two moniters) looking left one and on the right monitor I noticed my manager had written her a message on teams "What was fuck eye doing sat talking to you on the sofa"

This really, really, upset me especially after yesterday, it felt like such a blow. I know it wasn't meant for my eyes and I wasn't intentionally looking, but it was just caught my eye, it's just made me feel so crap, I got upset and left (was due to leave early anyways as my LO had a hosp apt) and didnt come back after. Office manager was understanding and said that also MD was too but I just feel like I've had enough and this was the straw that's broke the camels back.

It's a shame as I love my job (Adminsistrator) and I couldn't ask for better colleagues bar my boss, but I feel drained, and the thought of going back to work tomorrow is giving me anxiety, and making me feel so shit. I really don't wanna be near my boss or there at all but at the same time I don't know if I'm just being dramatic? and need to man up. I was never meant to see that message but it's still made me feel horrible

If he’s md is in a small company he most probably owns it too

@Andypandy799 Have you ever been discriminated against in the workplace? I have. It’s not always obvious and it takes a long time to work what is happening to you before the penny drops. OP may not have have been consciously aware what was happening and even if they were, they may have been too afraid to say anything for fear of losing their job.
Either way I don’t think that’s any of our business to want to know the specifics. OPs manager never raised an issue or concern about them prior to them being sacked. That’s the problem here and if OP has sought legal advice and that’s the outcome reached then I say good luck to OP and hope they get a bit of justice for being treated like shit.

@Andypandy799 thats a very ignorant comment.

Did your colleague's mistake that you were fixing lead to loss of money? Is it possible that your "fix" backfired? Did you leave any task undone when you went to hospital that could lead to financial loss? You need to think really hard here about potential loss, and try to use ACAS for help to avoid spending money on a solicitor when it might not go anywhere. You could write for yourself a first letter to ask for a full explanation of what instructions you failed to obey, what was insubordinate, what losses were caused and why you have been considered to be accountable for those losses.

Sorry if I seem disingenuous but I am just interested in how this all of a sudden turned into discrimination on 3 counts, maybe op is drip feeding but this was never mentioned until she had seen a solicitor.

The thread isn't here to satisfy your curiosity, though. Unless you have specific advice re employment law, the OP doesn't need you to be able to understand her problem.

I really hope you get a good result - bosses like this make my blood boil, and all too often get away with it.

@Andypandy799 thank you for your comment, I spoke with my solicitor and told him everything what had happened previously, things which my boss had passed off initially as "banter" but actually are quite serious. If he does get sued (if this can't get settled via a settlement) then it will be on the grounds of racial, sex, and gender discrimination.

In terms of the solicitor he's not no win no fee, I actually paid 350 for him to ghost write a letter of appeal and a grievance and the next step, which I have done, is apply for conciliation with ACAS, which they have accepted, which is them getting a settlement, if not then it goes to a tribunal.

Your correct, I did absolutely love my job role as I mentioned, but not my boss.

Any more questions I'd be happy to answer them :)

@MRex the colleagues mistake was a double booking of an electrician, which was sorted completely and my role never gave me enough responsibility to loose a large amount of money, this has been rectified by several members of staff

In terms of what route to go down, ACAS are involved now in conciliation, which is the first option before a tribunal

OP I would cease to comment on this thread and request it’s taken down. It’s easy to identify and it will go against you.

Right. Well, hope you get on well with it!

I agree with this @Laladell

I usually get, slightly, annoyed when threads get taken down but you should ask for this one to be taken down

I hope you get some recompense for this vile behaviour. Your posts suggest that he was sexist and possibly racist. Bosses like that, who have no respect for their colleagues, are one of the reasons why this country has low productivity. If they own the business they think they can get away with it - and often they do - but they need to be challenged.

How are you, OP?

what an arrogant bastard. I’ve also worked for some bullies but haven’t had the juice to do what you’re doing. Hope it goes your way.