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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being over the top - Message from boss on teams

215 replies

Laladell · 15/12/2022 16:47

I'll start with a brief background.
My boss is quite rude, his moods are up and down like nothing I've ever seen before, he's a bit of a bully and tbh we all walk on eggshells round him, he's a bit of a nightmare (We don't have HR we're a relatively small company and he is the managing director).

I've been struggling recently (not with work just with generally how he is and the way he speaks to me) and yesterday things ended in tears with office manager consoling me.

Today I was working on how to fix another colleagues mistake (no biggie) with my office manager, and I needed to speak with her, she was on the phone and I asked if she wanted me to come back when she was done, she said no its fine take a seat and wait will only be a couple of minutes. We resolved said problem and I left, went back into discuss it with her and we were at her monitors (we have two moniters) looking left one and on the right monitor I noticed my manager had written her a message on teams "What was fuck eye doing sat talking to you on the sofa"

This really, really, upset me especially after yesterday, it felt like such a blow. I know it wasn't meant for my eyes and I wasn't intentionally looking, but it was just caught my eye, it's just made me feel so crap, I got upset and left (was due to leave early anyways as my LO had a hosp apt) and didnt come back after. Office manager was understanding and said that also MD was too but I just feel like I've had enough and this was the straw that's broke the camels back.

It's a shame as I love my job (Adminsistrator) and I couldn't ask for better colleagues bar my boss, but I feel drained, and the thought of going back to work tomorrow is giving me anxiety, and making me feel so shit. I really don't wanna be near my boss or there at all but at the same time I don't know if I'm just being dramatic? and need to man up. I was never meant to see that message but it's still made me feel horrible

OP posts:
AlisonDonut · 19/12/2022 13:01

jellyjellopeea · 19/12/2022 10:53

You might as well just call anyone who tries to tackle workplace bullying a snowflake Hmm. Why the fuck should people put up with being treated like shit in the workplace?

OP as others have said, call ACAS or CAB go for advice. Do not let this go. You deserve better, he deserves to be brought down a peg or two, the dickhead.

Do not let it go?

ACAS or CAB are going to do nothing because anyone can be sacked at any point in the first 2 years and unless they have evidence of discrimination for a protected characteristic there is absolutley nothing they can do about it.

Riling people up like this doesn't do anyone any good.

niugboo · 19/12/2022 14:27

@jellyjellopeea there is no recourse.

Veryactivenymphomaniac · 19/12/2022 14:49

My sister was asked to leave a company on the second day of training because she 'might become disruptive' apparently as she was quite experienced in the field.

She spoke to ACAS who agreed she wasn't treated fairly, they contacted the company who immediately offered her a nice without prejudice payout.

So I wouldn't let this drop. Its disgraceful treatment of you.

Veryactivenymphomaniac · 19/12/2022 14:49

This was only a few months ago.

oviraptor21 · 19/12/2022 15:04

Depending on the terms of your contract and how you have been dismissed, wrongful dismissal may apply. Acas or Citizens Advice should be able to help.

Laladell · 19/12/2022 17:39

Hi everyone thank you for your messages, I've got an appointment with a solicitor tomorrow at 3.30, he said potentially there's a few things that can be done with this situation so we will just have to see

OP posts:
ColadhSamh · 19/12/2022 18:21

Best of luck to you. An appalling way to be treated

Northernsouloldies · 19/12/2022 20:07

Dinosaur managers are still out there. Encountered one recently, shouting n swearing at people, not talking to staff, pointing at people and addressing them, as you. I thought fuck this n walked. Eight or nine staff sacked /left in under three months.

Aprilx · 19/12/2022 20:38

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 15/12/2022 17:40

Oh come on! For what?

OP if he's the MD and there's nobody above him, I'd start looking for a new job. If you're a skilled and experienced administrator, there will be many companies out there who will snap you up.

He sounds bloody horrible and like he's possible a coke head (rapid mood swings, aggressive behaviour.)

I was wondering if it was a typo too, I don’t know for what, but I have never heard the term “fuckeye” before and I have just googled it and still can’t find it.

Laladell · 20/12/2022 18:26

Hi everyone,

I've been to the solicitors today, he believes I will be able to get a settlement out of this, if not then due to previous incidents described in the work place I have enough ground to take him to court over him sacking me due to gender, sexual and racial discrimination.

He is going to be served with a letter tomorrow morning to get the ball rolling

OP posts:
SaponificationQueen · 20/12/2022 19:17

Do keep us updated. I would love to know how this all turns out.

DucklingDaisy · 20/12/2022 19:19

Laladell · 20/12/2022 18:26

Hi everyone,

I've been to the solicitors today, he believes I will be able to get a settlement out of this, if not then due to previous incidents described in the work place I have enough ground to take him to court over him sacking me due to gender, sexual and racial discrimination.

He is going to be served with a letter tomorrow morning to get the ball rolling

Great news. Good luck! We're all rooting for you.

MadeofElephantStone · 20/12/2022 19:22

Good for you. I hope you win!

Northernsouloldies · 20/12/2022 19:29

Good for you, hope you get a favourable outcome.

liarliarshortsonfire · 20/12/2022 19:45

Well done and bloody good for you!

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 20/12/2022 21:25

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Heatherland77 · 20/12/2022 22:30

Well done, I'm really pleased you saw a solicitor. I will keep my fingers crossed for you. Like I say, a million women are rooting for you.

determinedtomakethiswork · 20/12/2022 23:25

What a foul man he is. I'm really glad you know there's a way through this now and wish you all the very very best with it.

Mumek · 20/12/2022 23:40

Great news, it will certainly give him something to ponder over Christmas. The very best of luck with this and have a great Christmas.

Laladell · 21/12/2022 10:45

Thank you everybody, really hope this goes my away after everything 😩

OP posts:
SparkyBlue · 21/12/2022 20:36

Best of luck with it

MadeForThis · 21/12/2022 20:47

Good luck

montysma1 · 21/12/2022 21:05

I would begin every communication to him with Dear Fuck Eye......

Ostagazuzulum · 22/12/2022 00:11

Good luck - hope it goes your way. It's disgusting how he's behaved. Did the office manager ever challenge him?

Andypandy799 · 22/12/2022 05:06

Would love to hear what grounds your suing him on?

gender, sexual and racial discrimination in a job you’ve done for 6 months and said you loved?

I bet you never brought any of this up before with him or your manager. Is the solicitor o win no fee by any chance?